Buffy The Vampire Slayer

2004-12-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Episode 5 - written by and air dates

2004-12-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

Written By: Rob Des Hotel
Dean BataliDirected By:
David Semel
Production Code: 4V05
Never Kill a Boy on the First Date:
Air Dates:
USA, WB
Monday, 31 March 1997
Aust, 7
Thursday, 01 January 1998
Can, WB
Monday, 31 March 1997
Ger, Pro7
Saturday, 24 October 1998
It, Italia 1
Sunday, 25 June 2000
NZ, Tv3
Monday, 28 July 1997
Fr, Serie
Fri-15-May-1998

episode 5 - stats

2004-12-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

"Never Kill A Boy On The First Date" Statistics
Vampires Slain:
2
Demons Slain:
0
Human Deaths:
5
Total:
7
>> General Statistics

Sex Scenes
None
Kisses
1
Hugging
5
Tears
None
Vampire Kills
2
Deaths
4
Tear Jerkers
None
Swearing
1
Arguing
2
Eat/Drink
7
Listen To Music
3
Songs
6
Have Conversations
81
Break Something
5
Hurting
56
Laughing
4
Advice Given
3
Screams
2
Spells
None
Sleeping
3
Telephone Use
None
Watching Television
None
Biting
1
Studying
None
Buffy Gets Harmed
5
Scenes In A Car
2
Jewelry Worn
2
>> Character Statistics

Buffy Gives Attitude
55
Willow Does A Spell/Goes Online
None
Xander Is Witty
19
Giles Cleans/Takes Off His Glasses/Puts Them Back On
2

episode 5 - script

2004-12-17T10:04:00.000-08:00

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
Written by: Rob Des Hotel & Dean Batali
Directed by: David Semel
Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson
Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson
~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to
the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by
Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui
Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.
This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry
transcript of the episode "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date". It also
includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera
movements where I felt they were needed.
I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this
episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please
let me know and I will post an update. rev 99.06.23
This episode was originally broadcast on March 31, 1997.
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
The cemetery. Buffy is fighting a vampire. She kicks him in the face
with a high roundhouse kick, forcing him to step backward to keep his
balance. The vampire does a jumping half-twisting crescent kick, which
Buffy ducks. He tries two punches, and Buffy neatly blocks them. On his
third punch she grabs hold of his arm and hits him in the face with a
high front snap kick. Letting go of the vampire's arm, Buffy punches him
squarely in the midsection and follows up with a swinging punch to his
face, sending him to the ground.
Buffy: We haven't been properly introduced. (pulls out a stake) I'm
Buffy, and you're history!
She plunges the stake into him as he gets up. He falls and bursts into
ashes.
Giles: (pops up from behind a crypt) Poor technique. (comes around to
her) Prioritizing, sub-par... Execution was adequate, but a bit too
bloody for my taste.
Buffy: Giles, don't mention it. It was my *pleasure* to make the world
safe for humanity again.
Giles: I'm not saying that your methods are without merit, it's, uh, y-
you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be: plunge,
and move on. Plunge and... (notices something on the ground) Hello.
(bends over to pick up a ring with his pen)
Buffy: (sees the ring) Oh, that's great! I kill 'em, you fence their
stuff. (Giles gives her a look) What is it?
Giles: I don't know.
Buffy: But it bothers you.
Giles: Yes! Well, I... I thought this vampire was just on a random
kill, but it may be something else.
Buffy: Something big?
Giles: Yes. I'd best consult my books.
Cut to the Master's lair. He slams a book down on his lectern, opens it
and reads.
Master: 'And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the
balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great
warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he
will lead her into Hell.' As it is written, so shall it be. (picks up
the book and walks) 'Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed
shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to
his immortal destiny.' (stops by one of the brethren) As it is written,
so shall it be. 'And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night
before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his
job before he ate.' Oh, wait. (grabs one of the brethren by the throat)
That's not written anywhere. (lifts the vampire from his feet) The
Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer! If you fail to
bring him to me, if you allow that girl to stop you... (throws the
vampire into a coffin) Here endeth the lesson.
He slams the book shut and walks off.
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~
The library. Buffy is sitting on the table and studying the ring. Giles
makes his way down to her from the stacks while leafing through a book.
Giles: That symbol on the ring... I believe it's the rune for fidelity,
but, uh, it doesn't connect with any of the sects that I've studied.
Buffy: What about this? (shows him the ring) On the inside. It's a sun
and three stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere?
Giles: Let me see. (takes the ring and looks closely) No, I-I don't
think this, um, represents any...
Buffy: (looks in a book) Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars.
Yuck, check these guys out. (hands Giles the open book) Told you it
looked familiar.
Giles: Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right.
Buffy: Ooo, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to
score!
Owen comes into the library and approaches them.
Buffy: Oh! (slides off the table) Owen! Hi!
Giles: (looks up at Owen) What do you want?
Owen: A book?
Giles: Oh!
Buffy: (to Giles) See, this is a school, and we have students, and they
check out books, and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
Owen: I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around.
Kind of a security blanket.
Buffy: (awkwardly) I have something like that. Well, it's an actual
blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anym-more... So! Emily
Dickens, huh? She's great!
Owen: Dickinson.
Buffy: She's good also.
Giles: (points at the stacks) Poetry.
Owen: (to Buffy) I didn't think I'd find you here. (goes up the stairs)
Buffy: (follows Owen) W... Why not?
Owen: I, I didn't mean... I mean... I think you can read.
Buffy: Thanks.
Owen: But you don't seem bookwormy. (finds his book) The type of person
to lock themselves in a dark room with a lotta musty old books. (looks
up from the book) Oh, and I've offended you.
Buffy: No! No, I'm just surprised you gave any thought to what I'm
like.
Owen: You shouldn't be. (starts back down)
Buffy: (follows again) Oh, well, I *love* books. I mean, I really
*love* books.
Owen sees the book they were consulting earlier on the table and heads
over there to take a look.
Owen: What's this?
Buffy: (gets between him and the book) Not this one.
Giles: (picks the book up) This one she doesn't love.
He walks around Buffy, takes Owen's book and heads to the checkout
station.
Giles: Oh, Emily Dickinson.
Buffy: We're both fans.
Giles: Yes, uh, she's quite a good poet, I mean for a... (takes Owen's
library card)
Buffy: A girl?
Giles: For an American. (scans the book and library card)
Owen: (to Buffy) I'll, uh, see you in math... if I open my eyes at some
point. (takes the card and book from Giles)
Buffy: Cool...
Owen leaves. Buffy stares after him.
Giles: The Order of Aurelius is a very old and venerated sect. If
they're here, it's for a good reason.
Buffy: That was Owen!
Giles: Yes, I remember.
Buffy: Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one.
Giles: (exasperated) Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check
out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should
focus on the problem at hand.
Buffy: Right. I'm sorry, you're right. Vampires. (looks down at her
dress) Oh. (looks inquisitively at Giles) Does this outfit make me look
fat?
Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy and Willow are paying for lunch.
Willow: Owen Thurman was talking to you?
Buffy: It's all true.
Willow: Wow! He hardly talks to anyone. He's solitary, mysterious... He
can brood for forty minutes straight, I've clocked him.
Buffy: He was so nice, it was eerie.
Willow: What did you guys have to talk about?
Buffy: (heads for a table) Emily Dickinson.
Willow: (follows) He reads Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive, yet manly!
(Buffy sets down her tray) Well, wait, you've never even read her.
Buffy pulls out the book and sets it down for Willow to see.
Willow: You vixen! (they both sit)
Xander: (holds up his fork) Has anybody given any thought to what this
green stuff is?
Buffy: Hmm, I'm avoiding the subject.
Xander: I think it's kale, or possibly string cheese. (lets the fork
drop) So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?
Buffy: (gives him a stern look) Xander!
Xander: I mean, how'd the *laying* go? (gets another look from Buffy)
No, I don't mean that either.
Buffy: It went fine, thank you. There's some new hoidy-toidy vampire
sect in town.
Willow: That's bad.
Xander: Well, hey, they're bringing in the much needed tourist dollars.
(sees Owen) Ooo, look at Mr. Excitement.
Buffy: Owen! He's all alone! Maybe somebody should sit with him.
Willow: Mm, just to be polite! (Buffy gets up) Good luck!
Xander: (to Willow) Okay, what just happened?
Buffy walks over to Owen's table. Cordelia is coming over, too, from
another direction.
Cordelia: Look, an empty seat! (bumps Buffy)
Buffy: (spills her tray) Ooo! Ew...
Owen: Let me get that. (bends down)
Buffy: Thanks! (crouches) Boy! Cordelia's hips are wider than I
thought!
Cordelia: (sarcastically) Eh-heh!
Owen: At least you don't have to eat your Soylent Green.
Cordelia: (trying to get attention) Owen, a bunch of us are loitering
at the Bronze tonight. You there?
Owen: Who's all going?
Cordelia: Well, um, I'm gonna be there.
Owen: Who else?
Cordelia: You mean besides me?
Owen: (to Buffy) Buffy, what about you?
Buffy: What?
Cordelia: No, no, no! She, uh, she doesn't like fun.
Owen: (to Buffy) How 'bout we meet there at eight?
Buffy: (smiles) Yeah! Eight! There!
She puts her empty tray on top of Cordelia's.
Cut to the halls. Buffy and Willow come in through the doors.
Buffy: It's not that big a deal. It's just a bunch of people getting
together.
Willow: It's a very big deal!
Buffy: It's not!
Willow: It is. (spots Giles) Tell her!
Giles: I'm afraid it's very big.
Willow: (smiles at Buffy) Thank you! (turns back to Giles, confused)
Wait!
They follow Giles into the library. Cut into the library.
Willow: What are you talking about?
Giles: What are *you* talking about?
Buffy and Willow: Boys!
Giles: Yes, well, I'm talking about trouble. A violent and disturbing
prophecy is about to be fulfilled.
Buffy: The Order of Aurelius.
Giles: You were spot-on about the connection. (walks over to the table)
I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he, he prophesied
that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him
the Anointed.
Willow: Who's that?
Giles: Well, I-I don't know exactly, a-a-a-a warrior, but, but it says
he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth
day after the Advent of Septus.
Buffy: Well, we'll be ready whenever it is.
Giles: Which is tonight.
Buffy: (takes in the information) Tonight, okay... (realizes the
conflict) Not okay! It can't be tonight!
Giles: My calculations are precise.
Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!
Willow: Buffy has a really important date.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the
twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy
for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
Giles: Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him
before he reaches the Master.
Buffy: But... Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!
Giles: Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are
aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we
go into battle!
Cut to the graveyard. Giles and Buffy are sitting on a large gravestone.
Giles: (sniffs) Perhaps I miscalculated.
Buffy: I'm thinking yes. (sucks her drink dry)
Giles: Well, you know what they say. Ninety percent of the vampire
slaying game is, is waiting.
Buffy: You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?
Giles: Well, we, we've certainly waited here long enough. (gets up)
Buffy: Besides, there aren't any fresh graves. Who's gonna rise?
Giles: Apparently no one tonight.
Buffy: (jumps up) Then I can bail? I can go to the Bronze and find
Owen?
Giles: Oh, very well then. Follow your hormones if you want. (Buffy
hops down and starts to go) But I assume I don't have to warn you about
the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who's unaware
of your unique condition.
Buffy: Yeah, yeah, I read the back of the box.
Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and
all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm a
Slayer. Ask me how!' (gets a look from Giles) Good night. (leaves)
Giles: 'Five shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise.'
I was sure it was tonight.
Cut to a bus. The passengers ride in silence.
Collin: (to Andrew) I went on an airplane.
Andrew: A pale horse emerged with death as its rider. You will be
judged. You will be judged.
Cut to the Bronze. Buffy goes in and looks around for Owen. "Rotten
Apple", by Three Day Wheely, is playing on the sound system.
Lyrics: ...is real / Then you wake up shouting some familiar name /
It's not the same
Buffy sees Owen dancing with Cordelia. She looks on, crushed by the
sight of them together.
Lyrics: You're just a girl / Just a girl who knows no shame / Whose
desperate pace has lost its taste / A never-ending darkness weighs / I
can't avoid, I can't complain / I know exactly who's to blame / The girl
who shares my...
Cut to the bus. Andrew has gotten up and stands in the aisle.
Andrew: That day's gonna bring fire. Fire comin' down! Judgment! (to
Collin and his mom) Don't think you're ready, ready to look upon him. If
there's sin in there, there's sin all around. It's a liquid. On that day
there won't be anybody tellin' us what to do or why we're doin' it. You
can't prepare. On that day...
Driver: (to Andrew) Hey, you gotta sit down. Okay?
Andrew: Are you willing to stand with the righteous?
One of the brethren steps in front of the bus. The driver hits the
brakes and slams into the vampire. The bus begins to swerve, runs
through a sign and hits a pole, which brings it to a stop.
Driver: (looks back at the passengers) Is everyone okay?
The passengers look at each other. They all seem shaken but okay. The
driver gets out to check the victim.
Driver: (to victim) Are you all right? (kneels down beside him) Can you
move?
The vampire grabs him by the throat and begins choking him. Another one
punches through a window, grabs Andrew by the throat, pulls him out and
bites him. The vampires all climb into the bus to get the other people.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~
In the school halls at Buffy's locker. She slams it shut and leans on
it.
Xander: So you just went home?
Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late, I was
sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise
so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?'
Xander: (weighs options with his hands) Or flat tire?
Buffy: (starts walking) I can't take this anymore. I feel like everyone
is staring at me, the big, hideous, dateless monster. (to a passing
student) What? Yeah, that's right, I have no life, c'mon, nothin' to see
here, pal, move it along!
Cut to a different part of the hall.
Xander: You're acting a little overly, aren't you? I mean, you could
have any guy in school.
Buffy: He's not any guy. He's more... Oweny.
Xander: Sure, he's got a certain Owenosity, but that's not hard to
find. (they reach his locker) I mean, a lotta guys read. (with a goofy
smile) I can read.
Buffy is leaning on the lockers looking down when she notices Owen come
up to her.
Owen: Hey, Buffy!
Buffy: Owen!
Xander: Oh, look, it's Owen. (gets a look from Buffy) Buffy and Owen.
And Xander. That'd be me.
Owen: W-where were you last night?
Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our
house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was...
Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to. How 'bout we try
it again for tonight? I'll even lend you my watch.
He hands her his gold pocket watch and chain. Xander looks at the watch
in wide-eyed amazement. Buffy accepts it.
Buffy: Tonight? Y-you and me?
Xander looks at his Tweety wristwatch.
Owen: Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink and they
start fights...
Buffy: Oh, no, it's just... Well, I... sort of heard that... you and
Cordelia were... somewhat... all over each other. A little...
Owen: I danced with her a couple of times. (with a look of distaste)
She's kinda grabby.
Buffy: Oh, well, let's see, if I rearrange that, and I push that to
n... Sure! Tonight'll work!
Owen: Great! I'll pick you up at seven?
Buffy: Um, seven!
Owen: That's when the little hand's (points on the pocket watch) there.
Buffy: Oh! Between the six and the eight.
Owen: Um, I'll see you then! (leaves)
Buffy: (watches him go) Tonight! Isn't that so?
Xander: What?
Buffy: (dreamily) Me and Owen! (walks off)
Xander: (feeling down) Yeah, so it is. (closes his locker) It sure is
so.
Cut to Giles' office. He has a headache from researching and is just
sitting down to have some tea. Buffy barges in.
Buffy: Hey, how's it going?
Giles: Uh, alright.
Buffy: That's great! I see we're still working on that Anointed One
problem, that'll probably take you a few days, right? I mean, that's one
obscure prophecy...
Giles: Well, yes, there are a few interpretations...
Buffy: So tonight's looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and
regroup, no big disasters coming, that is *so* good, I will see you
tomorrow then! Bye! (leaves quickly)
Giles: She is the strangest girl.
Cut to the Master's lair. The brethren give him their attention.
Master: You have done well. Everything is in place. When this night's
work is done, I will have a mighty ally. I'll be one step closer to
freeing myself from this... mystical prison. (feels his confines) I've
been trapped down here so long I've nearly forgotten what it's like on
the surface. Well, there'll be time enough to remember... when I rule
it! If she tries to stop you, kill her. Give your own lives, but do not
fail to bring the Anointed. I know you won't disappoint me. (quickly
grabs a fly from the air) Bug!
Cut to Buffy's room. She's wearing her bathrobe, and Willow is helping
her decide on an outfit.
Willow: Pick!
Buffy: (to Xander) Okay, (Willow holds up one minidress) do I wanna
appear shy, coy and naive or (Willow holds up the other) unrestrained,
insatiable and aggressive?
Xander: (watching from the bed) Uh, y'know, Owen is a little home spun,
he probably doesn't like that overly assertive look. (goes to her
closet) Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap!
(holds them up to her) The earflaps will bring out your eyes!
Buffy and Willow exchange a look.
Buffy: Maybe I should mix and match. (Willow nods) Okay, guy's opinion.
(grabs two lipsticks from her desk) Which one do you think Owen will
like better? (holds them up) The red or the peach?
Xander: Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends
how easy you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then
talks behind your back? The red's fine.
Buffy: Thanks. I'll go with the peach. (puts on the lipstick)
Willow: (hands Buffy a third minidress) Here, put this on.
Buffy and Willow look at Xander.
Xander: You're not bothering me!
Willow sighs, turns him around and pushes him away.
Willow: (to Buffy) So, where's he taking you?
Buffy: Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates
these days? (unties her bathrobe)
Xander goes over to her drawer chest and tries to angle the mirror
inside a box so he can see.
Willow: Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies.
Buffy: (finishes pulling on the minidress) Movies! Interesting!
Willow: And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a
party.
Buffy: (pulls on a boot) Wow! I never knew being a teenager was so full
of possibilities! (pulls on the other boot)
Xander fumbles with the box. Buffy and Willow look over at him. The door
bell rings.
Buffy: (excited) That's Owen!
Cut to Buffy opening the door.
Buffy: That's Giles.
Giles: We need to talk.
Buffy: Buffy's not home. (tries to close the door)
Giles: (pushes the door open and comes in) My calculations may not have
been as far off as I thought. (holds up a newspaper)
Buffy: (reads) 'Five Die in Van Accident'?
Giles: Out of the ashes of five shall rise the one. That's the
prophecy. Five people have died!
Buffy: In a car crash.
Giles: I know it doesn't quite follow, but, but it's worth
investigating. Look! Among the dead was Andrew Borba, whom the police
sought for questioning in a double murder. Now, he may be the Anointed
One. The, the bodies have been taken to, to Sunnydale Funeral Home, w-we
can...
Buffy: (interrupts) Giles, why do you wanna hurt me?
Giles: I beg your pardon?
Owen: (shows up at the open door) Hey! (comes in) Uh, hi!
Giles: You have a date?
Buffy: Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow.
Giles: Wait, you're not getting off that easily.
Owen: Man, you really care about your work!
Willow: (thinking quickly) Uh, Owen?
Xander: Yeah, a couple of things about tonight.
Willow and Xander lead Owen into the living room.
Giles: Another date? Don't you ever do anything else?
Buffy: This is the first date! There's never been a date, okay? This is
my maiden voyage!
Cut to the next room.
Owen: What, she doesn't like to dance?
Xander: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you
should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she
doesn't like to be touched.
Willow: Xander...
Xander: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her.
Cut back to the foyer.
Buffy: We don't even know if this is anything.
Giles: No, we don't.
Buffy: And I haven't had a day off in a while.
Giles: True...
Buffy: And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer!
Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer... i-i-is
problematic at best.
Buffy: This is the 90's. The 1990's, in point of fact, and I can do
both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date.
Giles: Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead...
Buffy: (pleased) Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won't go
far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Owen: (comes back) Is everything cool?
Buffy: All set.
Giles: Yes, and, uh, you'll face a pretty hefty fine in the morning.
Buffy: Well, bye. Don't wait up. (leaves quickly with Owen)
Willow: Is something going on?
Giles: Oh, uh, probably not, no. I, uh, I suppose I'll just, uh, go to
the funeral home in case, just see if anything comes up. (leaves)
Willow: (to Xander, concerned) This is bad.
Xander: I wish it was just bad.
Willow: We should... go along.
Xander: Yeah, you're right. I don't trust that Owen guy. It's the eyes.
Crazy!
Willow: Xander, we should go with Giles! He could get in trouble!
Xander: Oh, he's gone, uh, it's, he's gonna be alright. He's like super
librarian, y'know? Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the
ultimate weapon.
Cut to the Bronze. Velvet Chain is playing tonight. They begin with
"Strong". Owen and Buffy are sitting at a table talking.
Lyrics: I'll be right along / 'Cause, baby, you're so strong
Owen: The thing about Emily Dickinson I love is, is she's just so
incredibly morbid. A lot of loss, a lot of death... It gets me. With a
lot about bees, for some reason.
Buffy: Did she have a tragic and romantic life? With a lotta bees?
Owen: Quiet. Kind of sequestered and uneventful. Which I can really
relate to. I... don't get out much.
Buffy: I don't get that.
Owen: It's my fault. I just find most girls pretty frivolous. I mean,
there's a lot more important things in life than dating, y'know? (Buffy
looks down at her beeper) Oh. Did I say something wrong?
Buffy: Uh, no! Come on.
She leads Owen to the dance floor.
Lyrics: Baby, baby, I know it's always been so / Physical love is, oh,
so meaningful for you
Buffy and Owen dance close.
Owen: It's weird.
Buffy: What is?
Owen: You! One minute you're right there. I've got you figured. The
next, it's like you're two people.
Buffy: Really? Which one do you like better?
Owen: I'll let you know.
Lyrics: So strong / Baby, I'm yours / You know / Because you're so / So
strong
Cut to Cordelia entering the Bronze with some of her friends. She sees
Buffy with Owen.
Cordelia: Aren't there laws against this sort of thing? (walks over to
Buffy and Owen) Owen! Look at you, here all alone...
Lyrics: You're so, so strong
Owen: Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh! Okay. Do you wanna dance?
Owen: No, I'm still here with Buffy.
Cordelia: You are so good to help the needy.
Buffy: Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now, and for
that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that's away.
Cordelia: (gives Buffy a look) (to Owen) Well, when you're ready for
the big leagues, let me know. (leaves)
Lyrics: You would suffer, suffer for me
Cut to the Sunnydale Funeral Home. Giles drives up in his ancient car.
It's quiet. He gets out, slings his bag over his shoulder and starts
around his car to the building. The night is creepy, and he has a look
around. He continues toward the building, but stops short when he senses
something. He looks around again to his right. Nothing. As he turn back
he sees one of the brethren in front of him. He starts to back away, but
another one is behind him.
Giles: Damn!
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~
In front of the Sunnydale Funeral Home. Giles is caught between two of
the brethren of the Order of Aurelius. He pulls a cross from his bag and
holds it up to them. They cower away in pain. Giles makes a dash for the
building. Cut inside. Giles looks around and puts his cross back into
his bag. He runs to the flower room door and finds it locked. The
brethren come into the building after him.
Cut to the Bronze. Velvet Chain is playing their next song, "Treason".
Lyrics: I have a window in my mind / I can turn to look right through
you
Owen: Are you, uh, having fun?
Buffy: Yeah. I almost feel like a girl.
Lyrics: Won't cost you anything but time / To see me feel like you do
They smile at each other and continue to dance.
Cut to the funeral home. Giles finds the door to the morgue unlocked and
rushes in. He slams the door behind him and looks around. He grabs a
filing cabinet, tilts it and drags it over to block the door. It works,
the brethren can't readily open it. Giles looks around for a way out.
The windows are barred. He sees Willow and Xander through the bars.
Giles: (startled) AH!
Willow: (Willow and Xander raise the window sash) Giles, it's us!
Giles: What are you doing here?
Xander: We saw two guys going in after you. Are they...
Giles: (looks at the door) They are! (looks back) Uh, listen, you
should get to safety.
Willow: Can you get out this window?
Giles: (tests the bars) I'm afraid not.
Xander: Look, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job
for Buffy?
Giles: Uh, she has her, her... beeping thing! (looks around) Um, no
phone, of course.
Xander: Look, we'll get her, just, uh, hang in there. (Willow and
Xander leave)
Giles: (worried) Do hurry.
Cut to the Bronze. Owen and Buffy are standing by the stairs.
Owen: Do you want something to eat?
Buffy: Sure. Just make it something fattening.
Cordelia: (looking on from the shadows by a door) What a disgusting
display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum? I mean,
I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that. Uhhh!
The door opens and Angel comes in.
Cordelia: Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! (to her friend) Pick up the
phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm
through with him.
She starts to follow Angel, but stops when she sees him go over to
Buffy.
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Cordelia: (to herself) Why is this happening to me?
Angel: (to Buffy) I was hoping I'd find you here.
Buffy: You were?
Angel: Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there.
Buffy: No, not you, too. (tries to leave)
Angel: (stops her) What do you know?
Buffy: Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada...
Angel: So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you.
Buffy: Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar? (walks around
him and faces Owen) He came here to be with me.
Angel: You're here on a date?
Buffy: (turns to Angel) Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone?
Owen: (returns) Here you go.
Buffy: Oh. (looks between Angel and Owen) Um, Owen, this is Angel.
Angel, this is Owen. (puts her arm around him) Who is my date.
Angel: Hey.
Owen: Hey! So. Where do you know Buffy from?
Angel: Work.
Owen: (to Buffy) You work?
Willow and Xander come running up to them, out of breath.
Willow: Buffy!
Owen: Look at this! You show up everywhere. Interesting.
Xander: (points at Owen) You don't know the half of it. (points at
Angel) What's he doing here?
Angel: I guess it's the same thing you're doin' here.
Buffy: Uh, excuse me, what are *any* of you doing here?
Xander: Look, we gotta get to, uh... (Willow kicks him) Uhhhh. We
thought it'd be fun if, uh, we made this a double date!
Willow and Xander put their arms around each other.
Buffy: I didn't know you guys were seeing each other.
Willow: Oh, yeah, well, we knew it would happen eventually, so we
figured, hey! Why fight it?
Owen: And you guys are thinking double?
Xander: 'Cause of... (laughs nervously) ...the fun!
Owen: (to Angel) And you're here because of work?
Xander: Hey, maybe we should all go somewhere together.
Buffy: Gee, that's so nice of you to ask, but Owen and I were, well,
sort of... Owen and I.
Xander: You know what'd be cool? The Sunnydale Funeral Home!
Willow: (emphasizing) I've always wanted to go there!
Buffy: The funeral home?
Owen: Actually, that sounds kinda cool! Do you think we could all sneak
in?
Xander: We saw some guys in there before. They seemed to be (pointedly
to Buffy) having fun!
Buffy: (to herself) Bite me!
She looks up at Angel. He gives her an 'I told you so' look.
Buffy: (exhales) (to Owen) Um, Owen, I gotta go.
Owen: I thought we were going to the funeral home.
Buffy: No, you can't. I'll tell you what. I'll be back in a little
while.
Owen: Buffy... (leads her away) What's the deal? Do you wanna bail on
me?
Buffy: No! No... no... uh... You remember when you said I was like two
different people? Well, one of them has to go. But the other one is
having a really, really good time, and will come back. I promise.
Owen just nods his head and watches her go. She comes back and lays a
kiss on him. Then she really leaves with Willow and Xander close behind.
Owen: (to Angel) She's the strangest girl!
Cut to the funeral home. Everything seems quiet. Buffy, Willow and
Xander come in through the front door.
Buffy: Which way?
Willow: The room's around back.
They go off to their left. Around a corner they hit a dead end.
Buffy: Damn it!
Owen: (appears behind them) This is so cool!
Buffy: Uh, Owen! You can't be here!
Owen: Oh, and I suppose you guys are allowed? What are we doin' here?
Are we gonna see a dead body?
Buffy: Possibly several. (to Xander and Willow) Guys, watch him. (runs
back the way they came)
Owen: Is she mad?
Willow: Oh, she just wants to make sure there're no guards so we don't
get in trouble.
Owen: Good thinking.
Xander: (to Willow) Good thinking.
They start after Buffy. Cut to Buffy quietly walking down the hall,
looking and listening. She finds the morgue door open and goes in. The
place is a shambles.
Buffy: Giles?
His bag is on the autopsy gurney. The window bars are torn open. She
finds his cross. Suddenly one of the doors to a body storage drawer
opens in front of her, and the drawer rolls out. Buffy jumps back,
startled.
Buffy: Giles!
Giles: It *is* you. Oh, good.
Buffy: What happened?
Giles: Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me.
But I was more than a match for them.
Buffy: Meaning...?
Giles: I hid. Uh, this, uh, chap was good enough to bunk with me till
they went away. (he jumps down off of the cadaver)
Buffy: Well, w-were they here after you, or w-was it that prophecy
thing?
Giles: Ah, well, that's what we have to find out. I don't know what
these brethren mean to do exactly. Find the Anointed, or, or, or, or
give him something perhaps, uh, it's all, all very vague. And the
Anointed may be long gone!
Buffy: But he may not be.
Giles: We must find out.
Buffy: Okay, I just need to get Owen and the others out of harm's way
first.
Giles: Owen? You brought a date?
Buffy: (exhales) I didn't bring him, he came.
Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social
life, I didn't mean at the same time.
Buffy: I know. I'll get rid of him. (starts to leave)
Giles: Y-you can't make him go out there alone, we don't know where the
brethren are. I-I'll just...
Buffy: No! No, Giles, he sees you, he's gonna have more questions than
he already does right now. I'll take care of it.
She runs out into the hall and looks around for the others. They come
around a corner and see her.
Willow: Is everything okay?
Buffy: It is.
Xander: And we'll be leaving?
Owen: We're not done lookin' around yet!
Buffy: No, he's right. So let's find a nice, safe, fun room to look
around in.
She takes Owen's hand and leads the group down the hall. They reach the
office door.
Owen: We tried the office here, but it's locked.
Buffy: (breaks the lock) No it's not! (goes in)
Owen: Well, I don't think we'll find much in here.
Buffy: (looks around) That's the plan.
Owen: Okay. (confused) What?
Buffy: (finished looking) I have to go now. (laughs nervously) Um, to
the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a
security guard or something, just be really quiet. (to Willow and
Xander) And barricade the door.
She goes out into the hall again and looks around on her way back to the
morgue. Xander closes the office door.
Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles start looking through the body
drawers hoping to find the Anointed One.
Buffy: (opens one) Ewww, parts!
Giles: Keep looking, he must be here somewhere.
Cut to the office. Willow and Xander start to pile furniture in front of
the office door.
Owen: What are you guys doing?
Willow: Uh, just in case!
Owen sees a curtain and draws it open. Behind the window he sees a body
covered with a sheet.
Owen: Oh, my!
Willow and Xander turn around to look.
Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles are still looking. There's only one
storage cell left. Giles opens it quickly and Buffy pulls out the
drawer. It's empty.
Buffy: Nothing.
Giles: The Anointed must be gone.
Buffy: I guess. I mean, this is where they keep all the dead bodies,
right?
Giles: Mm-hmm.
Cut to the office. Owen is looking at the body with fascination. Willow
and Xander look worried.
Owen: I read a lot about death, but... but I've... never really seen a
dead body before.
The body's hand moves.
Owen: Do they... usually move?
The hand moves again. Willow and Xander approach to have a closer look.
The hand reaches up and pulls the sheet off. Andrew sits up and faces
them. He is a vampire now. He stands up, looks down at himself and
flexes his hands. He looks back up at them.
Andrew: I have been judged!
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~
The mortuary office.
Owen: What's goin' on?
They back away from the window slowly. Andrew approaches the window and
smashes it with his forehead. Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles hear
the window being smashed.
Buffy: Oh, no!
She starts running to the office. Cut to the office.
Andrew: (laughs) He is risen in me! He fills my head with song!
Owen, Willow and Xander frantically begin moving the furniture away from
the door. Andrew steps through the opening.
Andrew: Pork and beans. Pork and beans!
Xander: (to Willow) Gimme that!
Andrew: I can smell you.
They get the furniture moved. Willow opens the door and they run out.
Andrew follows at a quick pace.
Andrew: You're the chaff, unblessed. I'll suck the blood from your
hearts, he says I may!
Cut to the hall. Buffy meets them running down the hall.
Xander: He's in there!
Buffy: Uh, go! Get out!
Xander: She'll be okay. C'mon!
They continue running. Buffy tries to find Andrew. She can hear him
singing as he comes down the hall toward her.
Andrew: Shall we gather at the river? / The beautiful, the beautiful
river?
She decides to try to head him off another way. Xander, Willow and Owen
find the exit, but are blocked by the brethren. Willow screams. Xander
pulls her around and behind himself. Instead of attacking, the brethren
close the gates. The hall is empty, but they can hear Andrew singing.
Willow: I think he's coming this way!
They run and find themselves at the same dead end as when they first got
there.
Owen: Oh, God, this is too much!
Cut to the morgue. Giles is still there. Buffy rushes in.
Buffy: What've you got?
Giles: What?
Buffy: What'd you bring? Do you have a stake?
Giles: Oh, uh... (hands her a stake.)
Buffy: Thank you! (starts back out the door)
Giles: W-what should I do?
Buffy: (faces Giles) Um, go outside and make sure the others are okay.
Andrew comes up behind Buffy, grabs her and throws her into a cabinet.
She hits the floor unconscious. Giles rushes to her aid.
Giles: Buffy!
Cut to the hall.
Owen: Somebody's gotta help Buffy!
Willow: Owen!
Owen starts to run to the morgue. Willow and Xander follow. Cut to the
morgue. Buffy is awake again, but still on the floor. Andrew approaches
Giles.
Andrew: They told me about you while I was sleeping.
Giles holds up his cross. It is painful to Andrew.
Andrew: Uh! Why does he hurt me?
He slaps Giles' hand away, and the cross goes flying. He grabs Giles and
throws him into the crematory controls. The fires in the chamber light.
Giles falls unconscious. Andrew bends down to pick Buffy up. Owen comes
running in.
Owen: Buffy!
Andrew raises her above his head.
Owen: No!
He grabs a tray and swings it into Andrew's back, stunning him. His
knees buckle and he lets go of Buffy. She staggers into an open body
drawer door and falls down unconscious. Andrew turns, grabs Owen by the
neck and growls as he moves in to bite. Owen grabs an urn from a rack
and smashes it over Andrew's head. He falls. Owen goes over to help
Buffy. She wakes up again and tries to get up.
Owen: Did you see that? He tried to bite me! (helps Buffy up) What a
sissy!
Andrew gets back up, grabs Owen and smashes a body drawer door into the
back of his head, knocking him out.
Buffy: No!
Andrew: Dead! (lets Owen fall) He was found wanting!
Buffy gets him solidly in the gut with a front snap kick. He rolls over
the autopsy gurney and onto the floor. She runs around to the far end of
the gurney. Andrew quickly gets up. She pushes the gurney into his gut,
and then pushes down on her end so it pivots up to hit him in the chin.
He staggers back and falls. She jumps up onto the gurney and does a
roundoff onto the floor as he gets up. He swings widely at Buffy's face,
but she blocks it. He tries again with his other arm, hitting Buffy
solidly in the face and knocking her to the ground. He taunts her as she
quickly gets up.
Buffy: You killed my date!
Willow and Xander appear at the door. Willow sees Owen wake up as Buffy
and Andrew fight.
Willow: Buffy! Owen's...
Xander: (pulls Willow back) J-just give her a sec!
Buffy blocks another punch, and then hits Andrew in the face with an
open-hand punch. Blocking a second punch from him, she hits him in the
gut with another open-hand punch. As he leans forward from the pain,
she knees him in the gut, and then shoves him backward into a counter.
Buffy: You killed my date!
Giles regains consciousness. Andrew turns back to Buffy.
Andrew: Your turn!
He lunges at Buffy, but she sidesteps him and uses his forward momentum
to launch him into the air. He lands on the gurney, and it rolls over to
the crematory. The gurney stops when it hits, but Andrew continues to
slide through the open door. Giles kicks the gurney away and slams the
crematory door shut. Andrew screams. Buffy watches him burn through the
small window. Then she notices Owen trying to sit up.
Owen: Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty?
Buffy: (goes to Owen) Owen! (crouches beside him)
Owen: What happened to that guy?
Buffy: Oh... We scared him away.
Owen: Oh, good. 'Cause, y'know, I would've...
Buffy: I know. Here... (helps him up) I'm sure this isn't exactly what
you had in mind for our first date.
Owen: (rubs his head) Yeah! I was hoping maybe we'd finish at Ben &
Jerry's.
Buffy: We still could...
Owen: No, I, I, I think I'll just walk home. (starts to go, but stops)
Uh, which way's home?
Buffy: I'll get you there.
Owen: No, I'll, I'll go it alone.
Willow and Xander come over.
Xander: We'll make sure he gets home safely.
They lead Owen away. Buffy watches them go. Giles comes over behind her.
Giles: Buffy, if I might, uh...
Buffy: (cuts him off) Don't! (slowly walks out)
Cut to the school. Buffy, Xander and Willow are walking along the
balcony.
Buffy: Well, did Owen say anything about me on the way home?
Willow: Oh, you mean specifically about you?
Buffy: Or generally... i-in the area, in the ballpark, any sort of
indication?
They round the corner and start down the stairs.
Xander: Well, in that case, no.
Willow: But he was pretty incoherent, so we might've missed it.
Buffy: You think?
Xander: No.
Buffy: I knew it. I totally blew it last night!
Xander: No, see, what you need is a guy who already knows your deepest,
darkest secrets and still says, 'Hey! I like that girl!' Someone like...
Buffy: (sees Owen) Owen!
Willow: Well, heh... This is our stop.
She walks around Buffy and drags Xander away with her.
Owen: Hi.
Buffy: Hi. (long awkward pause) This is going well.
Owen: I don't really know how to say this, but... about last night...
Buffy: You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out.
Owen: Totally. (Buffy looks down) And... I was wondering when I could
see you again.
Buffy: (looks back up) Um, that was my hopeful ear. Could you repeat
that?
Owen: I think you're the coolest!
Buffy: (smiles) Really?
Owen: I mean, last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting
killed would make me feel so... alive!
Buffy: (looks down and starts to walk) So that's why you wanna be with
me.
Owen: (follows her) Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that
again?
Buffy: Something like...
Owen: Like, walk downtown at three in the morning, a-and pick a fight
in a bar. How about tonight?
Buffy: Tonight would... (they stop walking) be... not a workable thing.
Did I just say that?
Owen: Tomorrow, then. I-I'm free any night this week.
Buffy: I'm not. Please don't take this personally. It's not you, it's
me.
Owen: (begins to get it) Right. It's you.
Buffy: And I was kinda hoping that... maybe you and I could still be...
Owen: (very disappointed) I, I get it. You just wanna be friends.
Buffy: That'd be nice.
Owen: Friends. Yeah. Great. (leaves)
Lyrics: The world will keep on turning / It'll all be there come
morning / So tonight...
Buffy: Yeah. Great.
Lyrics: Let the sun fall down all around you (song by Kim Richey)
Giles comes up behind her. They watch Owen leave. Buffy notices Giles
and looks at him. He's at a loss. She goes over to sit on a bench. Giles
follows her.
Giles: I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be
a Watcher. (sits next to her) He was one, and his, uh, mother before
him, and I was to be next.
Buffy: Were you thrilled beyond all measure?
Giles: No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be
a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer. Well, uh... My father gave me a
very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice.
Buffy: Sacrifice, huh?
Giles: (looks toward Owen) Seems like a nice lad.
Buffy: Yeah. But he wants to be danger man. You, Xander, Willow, you
guys... you guys know the score, you're careful. Two days in my world
and Owen really *would* get himself killed. Or I'd get him killed.
(faces Giles) Or someone else.
Giles: I, I went to the funeral home of my own free will.
Buffy: And I should've been there.
Giles: Buffy...
Buffy: I blew it!
Giles: I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I
don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And, I
must say, as a Slayer, you're, you're doing... pretty well.
Buffy: (smiles) Well. At least I did stop that prophecy thing from
coming true.
Giles: You did! Handily. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine the
Master, wherever he is, is having a fairly bad day himself.
He smiles. Buffy laughs back.
Cut to the Master in his Lair.
Master: (quotes scripture) 'And in this time will come the Anointed.
And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will
lead her into hell.' (kneels down next to Collin) Welcome, my friend.

Episode 5 - summary

2004-12-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

Episode 5 "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date" Summary

In the middle of a late-night sparring session at the cemetery, Buffy and Giles discover a ring with a mysterious engraving in it. The scene shifts to the Master Vampire's lair, where the Master explains that the Anointed One -- the Master's greatest warrior and the Slayer's greatest foe is due to rise from the ashes of five dead. The next day, Buffy is asked out by a handsome, poetry-loving classmate named Owen who she is smitten with. Buffy's good mood is spoiled by Giles, who's connected the engraving in the ring to a violent prophecy which is about to be fulfilled... that night. Buffy very reluctantly joins Giles at the cemetery, but nothing happens there. Meanwhile, an airport van crashes and although the five passengers -- including a burly, tattooed man who's been ranting incoherently -- survive the wreck, they die when the van is overtaken by vampires.
The next day, Owen and Buffy decide to try again, much to Giles' (and a very jealous Xander's) chagrin.
As Buffy prepares for her date, Giles comes over with the news: five people were killed the night before, just as the prophecy described, and one of them -- the tattooed man -- was wanted for murder. This leads Giles to believe that he is the Anointed one. Buffy insists on going on to the Bronze with Owen, but Willow and Xander agree to go along with Giles to the Sunnydale Funeral Home so he can check the bodies for clues. Giles is greeted by vampires, and though Willow and Xander try to help him, they realize this is Buffy's domain. They run off to the Bronze to fetch her, but she’s already hooked up with Owen. Unable to blurt out their news, they merrily suggest to Buffy a jaunt to the funeral home.
Once they get there, they're shocked to find Owen has followed them. As Buffy looks around for clues, the tattooed man -- now a vampire -- arises from a gurney and tears the place apart. Buffy kicks him, knocking him on a gurney, which hits the cremation oven and slides him right in. The next day, Owen is pumped up about the previous night’s adventures and can’t wait for the next date. Realizing she almost got him killed, Buffy reluctantly gives him the "let's be friends" speech. Giles commends her on her maturity, and reminds her that she did prevent a disaster. But all is not resolved. We see the Master in his lair, welcoming the Anointed one: it is an eight-year-old boy from the van accident, who smiles to reveal a mouth full of fangs.

Episode 4 - written by and air dates

2004-11-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

Written By: David GreenwaltDirected By: Bruce Seth GreenProduction Code: 4V04Teacher's Pet: Ep1.4 Trailer (1.52 MB) Ep1.4 Images Air Dates:
USA, WB
Tuesday, 25 March 1997
Aust, 7
Thursday, 18 December 1997
Can, WB
Tuesday, 25 March 1997
Ger, Pro7
Saturday, 17 October 1998
It, Italia 1
Monday, 19 June 2000
NZ, Tv3
Monday, 21 July 1997
Fr, Serie
Fri-08-May-1998

Episode 4 - stats

2004-11-23T13:51:00.000-08:00

Vampires Slain:
1
Demons Slain:
1
Human Deaths:
3
Total:
5
>> General Statistics

Sex Scenes
None
Kisses
None
Hugging
None
Tears
1
Vampire Kills
2
Deaths
4
Tear Jerkers
None
Swearing
None
Arguing
2
Eat/Drink
9
Listen To Music
2
Songs
3
Have Conversations
84
Break Something
3
Hurting
51
Laughing
11
Advice Given
1
Screams
3
Spells
None
Sleeping
3
Telephone Use
4
Watching Television
None
Biting
None
Studying
5
Buffy Gets Harmed
5
Scenes In A Car
None
Jewelry Worn
None
>> Character Statistics

Buffy Gives Attitude
38
Willow Does A Spell/Goes Online
4
Xander Is Witty
27
Giles Cleans/Takes Off His Glasses/Puts Them Back On
3

Episode 4 - script

2004-11-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

Teacher's Pet
Written by: David GreenwaltDirected by: Bruce Seth GreenTranscribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~ I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "Teacher's Pet". It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I felt they were needed. I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please let me know and I will post an update. rev 99.06.23 This episode was originally broadcast on March 25, 1997. ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze. A girl is screaming. A vampire is advancing on Buffy as she backs into a pole. She throws a solid right to his face followed by a left. The vampire isn't fazed, and he grabs her and throws her onto a pool table. He leans over her to bite. Xander comes up behind the vampire, grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him off of Buffy. Xander: May I cut in? He bashes the vampire's head into the pool table, turns him around and punches him in the gut and the face. The vampire falls to the floor, unconscious. Buffy is impressed and gives him a big smile. Xander offers her his hand to help her off of the pool table. Xander: You alright? Buffy: (exhales) Thanks to you! She slides off of the table and notices Xander's hand. Buffy: You hurt your hand! Will you still be able to... Xander: ...finish my solo and kiss you like you've never been kissed before? He gives her a wink and starts back to the stage. The vampire gets back up and growls at Buffy. Xander sees him, breaks the leg off of a chair that's been knocked over and throws the makeshift stake at the vampire. Buffy watches the stake fly into the vampire's chest, and he falls dead. She turns her gaze back on Xander. He jumps up onto stage and grabs his guitar to continue his solo. Buffy looks up at him adoringly and advances to the stage as he plays. Buffy: You're drooling. Xander gives her a confused look. Cut to science class. It's dark because Dr. Gregory is giving a slide show. Buffy: Xander! He wakes up from his daydream and shakes his head. Buffy indicates the corner of her mouth. Buffy: You've got a little... He picks up on her gesture and quickly wipes the drool off of his mouth and chin. Dr. Gregory: Their ancestors were here long before we were. Their progeny will be here long after we are gone. The simple and ubiquitous ant. He turns off the projector, turns the lights on and begins walking up the aisle. Dr. Gregory: Now. If you read the homework you should know the two ways that ants communicate. He stops at Xander's lab table and leans on it to face Buffy. Dr. Gregory: Miss Summers. Buffy: (on the spot) Ways that ants communicate. Dr. Gregory: (nodding his head) Mm. Buffy: With other ants. Dr. Gregory: From the homework. Behind him Willow tries to get Buffy's attention. Dr. Gregory: Ants are communicating... Buffy: (sees Willow's signals) Um, uh, uh... Willow strokes Xander's back, indicating "touch". Buffy: Touch... Dr. Gregory: (nodding) Mm-hmm. Buffy: And, um... She looks at Willow again. She is sniffing Xander, indicating "smell". Buffy: (confused) B.O.? Several students laugh. Willow gives her a disappointed look. Blayne: Thank God someone finally found the courage to mention that! Dr. Gregory: That would be 'touch' and 'smell', Miss Summers. Is there anything else Miss Rosenberg would like to tell you? Willow quickly turns away in her seat. The bell rings. Dr. Gregory starts to move back to the front of the class. Dr. Gregory: Alright, chapters six through eight by tomorrow, people. (stops and looks back at Buffy) Can I see you for a moment? Buffy nods. Cut to after the other students have left the room. Buffy leans against a lab table. Dr. Gregory idly reviews his slides. Dr. Gregory: I gather you had a few problems at your last school? Buffy: Well, what teenager doesn't? Dr. Gregory: Cut school, get in fights, burn down the gymnasium... Principal Flutie showed me your permanent record. He walks to the front of the class, and Buffy follows him. Buffy: Well, that fire, I mean, there was major extenuating circumstances. Actually, it's, uh, kinda funny! Dr. Gregory: Can't wait to see what you're gonna do *here*. He goes to the closet, gets his other glasses from his coat and cleans them. Buffy: Destructo Girl. That's me. Dr. Gregory: But I suspect it's gonna be great. Buffy: You mean, 'great' in a bad way? Dr. Gregory: (looks at her, then back at his glasses) You have a first-rate mind and you can think on your feet. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually did the... Buffy: ...the homework thing. Dr. Gregory: The homework thing. I understand you probably have a good excuse for not doing it. (closes the closet and walks back to his lab table) Amazingly enough, I don't care. I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear? Buffy: Yeah! Sorry. Dr. Gregory: Don't be sorry, be smart. (looks at another slide) And please don't listen to the principal or anyone else's negative opinion about you. Let's make 'em eat that permanent record. Whadaya say? He looks up at Buffy and gives her a little smile. She smiles back. Buffy: Okay! Thanks. He nods his head. She grabs her bag. Dr. Gregory: Chapters six through eight! Buffy looks back at him with a smile and leaves the classroom. Dr. Gregory puts the slide down, goes over to turn off the lights and comes back to his slide-viewing plate. While he concentrates on the slides, the closet door opens. Cut to a view of Dr. Gregory from the closet. The camera advances on him. Cut in front of him. He's concentrating on the slides. Cut behind him. A large, green mantis claw goes around his neck. Dr. Gregory looks up behind him and screams. The claw drags him off of his chair. His glasses hit the floor and break, and an instant later so does he. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. The live band is Superfine, playing "Already Met You". Xander dances lamely through the crowd. Lyrics: The first date's the worst date / It's hard to know just what to do / And I take you to dinner / You don't eat, you just play with your food Xander is on the dance floor and looks around. He makes his way to the stage and gives the singer an acknowledging nod and grin. Lyrics: And there's something familiar... The singer gives him a "get outta here" look. Lyrics: About every word you say Xander is disappointed and moves away from the stage. Lyrics: It's hard to believe it's happened again / I already met you / And I already met you / You're like my last girlfriend / Yes, and the girlfriend I had before her Xander goes over to the bar where Blayne and his friend are sitting. Blayne: Seven, including Cheryl. I'll tell you, though, her sister was lookin' to make it eight! Boy: Ooo, Cheryl's sister? The one in college? Blayne: (nods) Home for the holidays and lookin' for love! She's not my type, though. Girls really gotta have something to go with me. Xander: (interrupting) Something like a lobotomy? The two boys look at him. Blayne: Xander. How many times you score? Xander: Well, uh... Blayne: It's just a question. Xander: Are we talking today, or the whole week? The two boys snicker. Xander spots Buffy and Willow coming down the stairs. Xander: Ooo! Duty calls! He leaves the bar and approaches the girls as Blayne and his friend watch. Xander: Babes! The girls look back at him. He comes up to them with his arms wide open and grabs them both around the shoulders. Buffy: What are you doing? Xander: (to Buffy) Work with me here. Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual. Willow: (throws her arms around him tightly) We'll show him! Xander looks back at Blayne, gives him a thumbs up and puts his arm back around Willow. The two boys seem impressed. Buffy: (distracted) I don't believe it. Xander: I know, and after all my conquests. Buffy sees Angel and goes over to him. Xander: Who's that? Willow: That must be Angel! I think? Xander: That weird guy that warned her about all the vampires? Willow: That's him, I'll bet you. Xander: Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff! Willow: You think he's buff? Xander: He's a very attractive man! How come *that* never came up? Cut to Angel. Buffy comes up to him. Buffy: Well! Look who's here! Angel: Hi. Buffy: I'd say it's nice to see you, but then we both know that's a big fib. Angel: I won't be long. Buffy: No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe, and then disappear into the night. Right? Angel: You're cold. Buffy: You can take it. Angel: (takes off his jacket) I mean, you look cold. He puts his jacket around her shoulders. Cut to Willow and Xander. Xander: Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there! Cut to Buffy and Angel. Buffy: A little big on me. (notices a series of cuts on Angel's arm) What happened? Angel: I didn't pay attention. Buffy: To somebody with a big fork? Angel: He's coming. Buffy: The Fork Guy? Angel: Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out. Buffy: Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic! Angel: I have to go. (leaves) Buffy: (stares after him) Sweet dreams to you, too. Cut to Sunnydale High the next morning. Buffy and Giles are walking along in front of the school. Giles is eating an apple. Giles: That's all he said? Fork Guy? Buffy: That's all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy. Giles: I think there are too many 'guys' in your life. (laughs) They meet Willow sitting on a bench. Giles: I'll see what I can find out. (looks up at the sky) God, every day here is the same. Buffy: Bright, sunny, beautiful, how ever can we escape this torment? Willow gives her a smile. Buffy puts down her bag and sits down next to her. Giles: Really. Xander comes up behind Giles as he turns to leave. Giles: Good morning. Xander: Mornin'. (to the girls) Guess what I just heard in the office? No Dr. Gregory today. Ergo, those of us who blew off our science homework aren't as dumb as we look. He reaches down and flips Willow's book closed. She has to stop it from sliding off of her lap. Buffy: What happened, is he sick? Xander: They didn't say anything about sick, something about missing. Buffy: He's missing? Xander: Well, let me think. Um, the cheerleaders were modeling their new short skirts, that kinda got... Yeah! Yeah, they said missing. Willow and Buffy exchange a look. Xander: Which is bad? Buffy: If something's wrong, yeah! Willow: He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon. Xander: I'm really sorry, I'm sure he'll... He looks up and sees Miss Natalie French walking toward them. Xander: I, uh, huh... The girls look to see what's distracting him. Xander: Uh, huh... huh... Cut to a slow motion shot of Natalie walking. She comes right up to Xander, who just stares at her. Natalie: Could you help me? Xander: Uuuuuuhhhhhh... Yes! Willow and Buffy give each other amused looks. Natalie: I'm looking for Science... 109. Xander: Oh! It's, um... He looks around himself, trying to remember the way. He turns back to Natalie. Xander: (smiles) I go there every day! Natalie laughs. Xander: (looks to the girls for help) Oh, God, where is it? Willow and Buffy just shrug. Blayne appears behind Natalie and introduces himself. Blayne: Hi! Blayne Mall. I'm going there right now. It's not far from the varsity field where I took All-City last year. (smiles smugly) Natalie: Oh! Thank you, Blayne! She and Blayne leave. Xander's gaze follows them for a moment, and then he turns back to Willow and Buffy. Xander: It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to. The girls nod their heads and give each other a smile. Cut to science class. Natalie is writing her name on the board. Buffy, Willow and Xander walk in. Buffy spots Dr. Gregory's glasses on the floor and picks them up. Willow: What's wrong? Buffy: Dr. Gregory dropped his glasses... Why wouldn't he pick them up? She sets the glasses on the lab table and gives Natalie a glance as she walks to her stool. Natalie faces the class. Natalie: My name is Natalie French, and I will be substituting for Dr. Gregory. Buffy: Do you know when he's coming back? Natalie: No, I don't, um, (checks her roster) Buffy. They just call and tell me where they want me. Blayne: (in a low voice) I'll tell you where I want you. Natalie: Excuse me, Blayne? Blayne: Uh, I was just wondering if you were gonna pick up where Dr. Gregory left off. Natalie: (smiles) Yes. His notes tell me you were right in the middle of insect life. She picks up a mantis mounted in a clear plastic box. Natalie: The praying mantis is a fascinating creature. Forced to live alone. Who can tell me why? Buffy? She puts the mantis back down. Buffy: Well, the words 'bug-ugly' kinda spring to mind. There's lots of muffled laughter. Natalie: There is nothing ugly about these unique creatures. The reason they live alone is because they're cannibals! Buffy: Eww! Everyone in class looks disgusted. Natalie: Oh, well, it's hardly their fault! It's the way nature designed them: noble, solitary and prolific. Over 1800 species worldwide, and in nearly all of them the female is larger *and* more aggressive than the male. Blayne: (aside to Buffy) Nothing wrong with an aggressive female. Buffy angles her head and gives him a look. Natalie picks up her notebook and starts to walk around the room. Natalie: The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate... She looks at Xander. He stares back. Natalie: ...to fertilize them. Once he's played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sack and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger. Now, if she's done her job correctly, in a few months she'll have several hundred offspring. She has made her way back to the front of the class and puts down her notebook. Natalie: You know, we should make some model egg sacks for the science fair. Who would like to help me do that after school? All the boys raise their hands. Natalie: (pleased) Good! Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy, Willow and Xander are in line. Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart. Willow: Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs. Xander: I wonder what she sees in me? It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism. Willow raises her eyebrows at him. She turns to Buffy and they smile. Xander: Miss French. You two're probably a little young to understand what an older woman would see in a younger man. Buffy: Oh, I understand. Xander: Good! Buffy: The younger man is too dumb to wonder why an older woman can't find someone her own age, and too desperate to care about the surgical improvements! Xander: (taken aback) What surgical improvements? Willow: (to Buffy) Well, he is young. Buffy: And so terribly innocent! Xander: Hey, those that can, do. Those that can't *laugh* at those who... can do. Blayne comes up next to Xander, getting lots of food. Blayne: Gotta carb up for my one-on-one with Miss French today. When's yours? Oh, right, tomorrow. You came in second, I came in first. Guess that's what they call natural selection. (leaves) Xander: Guess it's what they call a rehearsal! (to the girls) Rehearsal... (laughs lamely) The girls smile. Buffy goes over to get some utensils. As she walks back Cordelia comes in through the exit and bumps into her. Cordelia: (to Buffy) Excuse you! She goes behind the counter, showing a piece of paper to the cafeteria workers. Cordelia: Medically prescribed lunch. My doctor ships it daily... I'll only be here as long as I can hold my breath. She opens a refrigerator and screams. Inside is a headless body. Buffy and Willow run to see what's wrong. Cordelia backs away from the fridge. Cordelia: (hysterically) His head! His head! Oh, my God, where's his head?! Buffy and Willow arrive to see what's inside. Buffy stares in disbelief. Xander is close behind and has to look away when he sees. Willow looks squeamish. The name on the body's lab coat is "Dr. Gregory". Cut to the library. Giles pours a glass of water. He brings it over to Buffy, who is sitting on the steps with Willow. Both girls have deeply sad looks on their faces. Buffy has been crying. Giles: (hands the glass to Buffy) Here. Drink this. Buffy: (idly takes the glass) No, thank you. (takes a sip) Xander: (behind Giles) I've never seen... Giles looks back at Xander. Xander: (shaken) I mean, I've never seen anything like... That was new. Willow: Who would wanna hurt Dr. Gregory? Giles: Uh, he didn't have any enemies on the staff that I'm aware of. He was a civilized man. I liked him. Buffy: So did I. Willow: (looks up at Giles) Well, we're gonna find out who did this. We'll find them and we'll stop them. Buffy: Count on it. Giles: What do we know? Buffy: Oh, not a lot, um... (sniffs and wipes a tear from her nose) He was killed here on campus. I'm guessing the last day we saw him. Giles: How do you work that out? Buffy: He didn't change his clothing. Xander: This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but... where did they put his head? Willow: Good point. I *didn't* wanna hear that. Buffy: Angel! (gets up) He warned me that something was coming. She takes another sip of water as she walks over to the table. Giles: Yes. Yes he did, didn't he? I wish I knew what he meant. I've been trying to gather more information about the Master, our, uh, local vampire king. There was one oblique reference to a, a, a vampire who displeased the Master and cut his hand off in penance. Buffy: Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork? Giles: I don't know what he replaced it with. Xander: So, why would he come after a teacher? Giles: I'm not certain he did. There was an incident two nights ago... He walks over to the counter, picks up a newspaper and returns with it. Giles: ...uh, involving a homeless person in Weatherly Park. He was practically shredded, but, uh, nothing like Dr. Gregory. Buffy: (looks at the paper) Fork Guy doesn't do heads. Giles: Not historically. Buffy: And Dr. Gregory's blood wasn't drained. Xander: So there's something else out there? Besides Silverwareman? Oh, this is fun, we're on Monster Island. Buffy: We're on a Hellmouth. It's a center of mystical convergence. Guess it's the same thing. (walks toward Xander) Giles: Well, unpleasant things do gravitate here, it's true, but, uh, we don't know there's anything besides this chap. He's still our likely suspect. Buffy: Where was that guy killed? Weatherly Park? Giles: Buffy. (advances toward her) I know you're upset, but, uh, this is no time to go hunting, not until we know more. Please promise me you won't do anything rash? Buffy: Cross my heart. Cut to the park at night. Buffy climbs the fence. She walks through the park, carefully looking around. A bum comes up to her, startling her. Bum: Shouldn't be out here at night, little lady. Dangerous. The bum leaves. She notices another bum on the ground in front of a bench, and she checks him out. He's okay, just asleep. Buffy continues stalking. Dogs bark in the distance. Buffy finds some shrubbery covering a sewer access hole. She moves it aside, and Fork Guy jumps out at her. She rushes backward. He swings with his claw, but misses. She slams her straight arm into his gut, then again into his back. He swings again, but Buffy dodges him. She backhand punches him in the face, does a roundhouse kick to his jaw and backhand punches his face again. He takes another swing at Buffy, but she evades it. She front kicks him. He lunges at her, and she grabs his arm and flips him over onto his back. Buffy tries to stake him, but he rolls away and back onto his feet. She kicks him again, and he staggers backward and falls. Buffy hears voices and turns to see people with flashlights coming over the hill. Voices: Hold it! Police! Did you see that? I got nothing here! Buffy looks back and forth between Fork Guy and the posse. The vampire runs off. Voices: I heard it. Spread out. Let's go over here. This way, this way. Alright... Buffy makes tracks after the vampire. Cut to the fence at the edge of the park. Natalie is walking home on the other side with grocery bags in her arms. The vampire stalks her and climbs over the fence. Buffy comes running up. The vampire lands behind Natalie. Buffy reaches the fence and watches. Natalie senses the vampire, stops and turns to face him. Fork Guy hisses and runs away infear. Natalie watches him go. Buffy can't believe what she's seeing. Thevampire crosses the street, lifts a manhole cover and climbs down. Natalie continues her walk home. Fork Guy pulls the manhole cover back into place. Buffy came only stare after Natalie, her mouth agape. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High, the next morning. Cut to the library. Giles: You went hunting last night. Buffy: Yes. He walks into his office. She follows behind him. Giles: When you assured me you wouldn't. (takes a sip from his mug) Buffy: Yes, I lied, I'm a bad person, let's move on. Giles: (opens his file cabinet) Did you see someone with a fork? Buffy: More like a jumbo claw. Giles: (turns to face her) Oh. Well, uh, at least you're not hurt. Buffy: And I saw something else. Something much more interesting than your average run-of-the-mill killer vampire. Giles: Oh? Buffy: Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory? Giles: (smiles) Yes. Yes, she's lovely. In a, a common, extremely well proportioned way. (puts some files away) Buffy: Well, I'm chasing Claw Guy last night, and Miss Well Proportioned is heading home. The Claw Guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover. Giles: (confused) He what? Ran away? Buffy: He was petrified. Giles: Of Miss French? Buffy: Uh-huh! So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand... How many things am I afraid of? Giles: Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule. Buffy: So what's her deal? Giles: I think perhaps it would be a good idea if we kept an eye on her. Buffy: Then I better get to class. She leaves the office. Cut to Buffy rushing down the stairs in the halls. She is stopped by Principal Flutie. Mr. Flutie: You were there. You saw Dr. Gregory, didn't you? Buffy: Um, you mean yesterday in the cafeteria when we found him... Mr. Flutie: Don't say dead! Or decapitated, or decomposing, I'd stay away from D-words altogether. But you witnessed the event, so this way, please. (starts down the hall) Buffy: (stops him short) Well, no, I'm gonna be late for biology... Mr. Flutie: Extremely late! (starts down the hall again) You have to see a counselor. Everyone who saw the body has to see a crisis counselor. Buffy: But I really don't need... Mr. Flutie: We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, (jumps back) but not a real hug! Because there's no touching, this school is sensitive to wrong touching. Buffy: But, I really, really don't... Mr. Flutie: No, you have to talk to a counselor and start the healing. You have to heal. Buffy: But Mr. Flutie, I... Mr. Flutie: Heal! He sits her down in a chair outside of the counselor's office and paces off. Buffy leans back in the chair and looks bummed. Then she hears Cordelia inside the office. Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? (the camera pans over to show her inside) It really gets to you, a thing like that. (cut inside) It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Cut to Buffy. What she's hearing is just too weird. Cordelia: Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats! Cut to science class. Natalie is giving a pop quiz, and is walking along the aisle. Natalie: Keep your eyes straight ahead on your own test. She comes up behind Xander. Natalie: (in a low voice) I think you meant 'pollination' for number fourteen. (puts her hand on his shoulder) I'll see you here after school. Cut to the hall. Buffy comes running to class and looks in through the door window. Buffy: Oh, great, a pop quiz. Cut inside. Natalie suddenly straightens up. Buffy looks in. She sees Natalie turn her head around 180 degrees. Her eyes go wide with amazement. She quickly rolls away from the window. Cut to the library. Buffy and Willow come in. Buffy: No, I'm not saying she craned her neck. We are talking full-on Exorcist twist. Willow: Ouch! Buffy: Which reminds me, how come Blayne, who worked with her one-on-one yesterday, isn't here today? Willow: Inquiring minds wanna know. Buffy: (to Giles) Any luck? Willow sits down in front of the PC and begins a search. Giles: Um, I've not found any creature as yet that strikes terror in a vampire's heart. Buffy: Try looking under things that can turn their heads all the way around. Giles: Nothing human can do that. Buffy: No, nothing human. There are some insects that can. Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her. She turns and hops up the stairs to the stacks. Giles takes off his glasses. Giles: What are you going to do? Buffy: (turns back to answer) My homework. She continues up into the stacks. Willow looks up at her and smiles, then continues her search. Buffy comes running back. Buffy: Where are the books on bugs? Cut to the science classroom. Natalie is at the desk spreading butter on a slice of bread. She's about to open a plastic container when she hears Xander come in and looks up. Xander: Hi! Natalie: Oh, Hi! I was just grabbing a snack. Can I fix you something? Xander: No thanks, I never... eat when I'm making egg sacks. (sees the model) Wow, if this were real the bugs would be... Natalie: ...as big as you! Xander: Yeah! So! Where do we start? Natalie: Oh, Xander! (gets up) I've done something really stupid. I hope you can forgive me. Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name! Well, actually it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life. (laughs) Natalie: (laughs) I have a teacher's conference in half an hour, and I left the paint and papier-mâché at home. I don't suppose you'd like to come to my place tonight to work on it there? Xander: (swallows) Come to, uh... your place? He flashes to his guitar solo for a moment. Natalie: 7:30? Here's my address. (writes it down) Xander can't believe his luck. Natalie: (hands him her address) I'll see you tonight? Xander: (in a high, squeaky voice) Yeah! Cut to the hall. Xander comes out of the classroom. Xander: (pumping his fists into the air) Ooo, yes! Cut inside the classroom. Natalie opens the container now. It's full of crickets. She dumps them onto the buttered bread and folds the slice in half. She takes a bite. Crunchy! Cut to the library. Buffy comes out of the stacks with a book. Buffy: Dig this: 'The praying mantis can rotate its head 180 degrees while waiting for its next meal to walk by.' (slams the book shut) Ha! (silence) Well, c'mon, guys. Ha! Willow: Well, Miss French is sort of big. For a bug? Giles: And she is, by and large, woman shaped. Buffy: (makes her way down to them) Okay. Factoid 1: Only the praying mantis can rotate its head like that. Factoid 2: A pretty whacked-out vampire is scared to death of her. Factoid 3: Her fashion sense screams predator. Willow: It's the shoulder pads. Buffy: Exactly. Giles: If you're right, then she'd have to be a shape shifter or a perception distorter. On a helpful note, I had a chum at Oxford, Carlyle, advanced degrees in entomology mythology. Buffy: Entoma-who? Giles: Bugs and fairy tales. Buffy: I knew that. Giles: If I recall correctly, poor old Carlyle, just before he went mad, claimed there was some beast... Willow: (the PC beeps) Buffy, 911! Blayne's mom called the school. He never came home last night. Giles: The boy who worked with Miss French yesterday? Willow: Yeah! If Miss French is responsible for... Xander's supposed to be helping her right now! He's got a crush on a giant insect! Buffy: Okay, don't panic, I'll warn him. But I need you to hack onto the coroner's office for me. Willow: Well, what are we looking for? Buffy: Autopsy on Dr. Gregory. I've been trying to figures out these marks that I saw on his corpse... I'm thinking they were teeth. And, uh, these cuddlies? (points to a picture of a mantis) Should definitely be brushing after every meal. (Willow types) (to Giles) And you were saying something about a beast? Giles: (gets up to go to his office) Oh, uh, yeah, I just need to make one transatlantic telephone call. (stops and turns back) Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one, one assumes it is entirely legal? Willow and Buffy answer simultaneously. Willow: Entirely! Buffy: Of course! Giles: Right. Wasn't here, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you. Buffy: Good idea. Cut outside. Buffy catches up with Xander. Buffy: Hey! Xander: Hey! Buffy: So, how'd it go with Miss French? Xander: Well, it's a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe, but I'll muddle through. Buffy: Xander, she's not what she seems. Xander: I know, she's so much more. Buffy: Okay, um... I'm gonna have to tell you something about her, and I'm gonna need you to really listen, okay? Xander: Okay. Buffy: I don't think she's human. Xander: I see. So if she's not human she's...? Buffy: Technically? A big bug. Xander laughs. Buffy: This sounds really weird, I'm aware of that... Xander: It doesn't sound weird at all, I completely understand. I've met someone, and you're jealous. Buffy: What? Xander: Look, there's nothing I can do about it. Uh, there's just this certain chemical thing between Miss French and me. Buffy: I know, I read all about it, it's call, um, a pheromone. It's a chemical attractant that insects give off. Xander: She's not an insect! She's a woman, okay? And hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway? Buffy: What does that have to do with... Xander: Nothing! It just kinda bugs me. Look, I really gotta... He walks off. Buffy turns and watches him go. Buffy: Wha...? Cut to Natalie's house that night. She pours two martinis. Her dress shows lots of cleavage. The doorbell rings. She smiles and goes to open it. Natalie: Hi! Come on in! Xander stares at her cleavage as he comes in. Natalie: Should I change? Is, is this too... (she closes the door) Xander: No, no, it's, the most beautiful chest... dress I've ever seen. She smiles and goes back into the living room. Xander follows. Natalie: Thank you. That's sweet. Martini? (offers him one) Oh, I'm sorry, would you like something else? Xander quickly accepts the drink. Natalie: (laughs) I just need to relax a little, I'm kinda nervous around you. (she sits down) You're probably cool as a cucumber! Xander: (sits down) I like cucumbers. Like in that Greek salad thing with the yogurt. Do you like Greek food? I'm exempting Schwarma, of course, I mean, what's that all about? It's a big meat hive. They laugh, he nervously, she playfully. Xander gulps the martini. Xander: Hhhhhhho! Hello! Natalie: Cheers! (clinks their glasses) Can I ask you a personal question? She puts her glass down and gets closer to Xander. Natalie: Have you ever been with a woman before? Xander: You mean, like, in, uh, the same room? Natalie: You know what I mean. Xander: Oh, that, uh... Well, let me think. Um... Natalie runs her fingers though his hair and around his ear. Xander: Yeah, there was, uh... several! She continues her stroke down to Xander's chin. Xander: I mean, and, uh, quite a few times... And then there was, uh... Oh, she was incredibly... No. Uh-uh. Natalie: I know. I can tell. Xander: You can? Natalie: Oh, I like it. You might say, I... *need* it. Xander: Oh! Well, needs should, uh, y'know... Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day, or... Muffled yelling can be heard from somewhere. Xander: Do you hear... Natalie: No... Xander: Sounds like someone crying... Natalie: I don't hear anything. (takes his hand) Your hands are so hot! Xander flashes to his dream. Buffy: Oh, you hurt your hand! Xander comes back. The drink is beginning to affect him. He leans back on the couch. Xander: Buffy. I love Buffy. Wow! So that's a martini, huh? Natalie: Mm-hmm. Xander: (sits back up) Do you hear... Natalie: (interrupting) Would you like to touch me with those hands? Xander: (looks at Natalie's hands) Your hands are sss... really... (her hands morph) serrated! Oh, wow, that martini, I... I really think I have to... Xander falls to the floor unconscious. Two mantis claws drag him away by his feet. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Natalie's basement. The camera pans down from the window above the stairs to Xander. He's lying unconscious in a cage. There are squishing noises. Xander wakes up, looks around, grabs the bars and pulls himself up. He sees Natalie as a giant mantis preparing her nest. Xander: Miss... French? Natalie: Please, call me Natalie. Xander backs away into the cage. Cut to the library. Giles is on the phone. Giles: Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care. Now, unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately. This is a matter of life and death! Cut to Willow typing. Willow: Got it! Coroner's report, complete with... Yuk! ...color pictures. Buffy: There *are* teeth marks. Which match perfectly the one insect that nips off its prey's head. Willow: Okay, I-I don't like this. Buffy: Huh! It's the way they feed, head first. It's also the way they mate. The female bites off the male's head while they're... Willow: No, no, no! See? Xander's, I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile... Buffy: Hey, hey, take it easy, Willow. Xander is not in any immediate danger. I saw him leave school. He's probably safe at home right now. Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander backs up in his cage and is surprised by Blayne when he reaches the far corner. Xander: Ah! Blayne! Blayne: (terrified) Oh, God! Oh, God! Xander: Are you all right? Blayne: Oh, God! (breathes) You gotta get me outta here! You gotta! She, she, she gets you, and, uh... Xander: What? Blayne: ...she, she... Xander: What does she do? Blayne: Oh, God! Oh, oh, no! Xander: Blayne! What does she do? Blayne: She, she... she, she takes you outta the cage, and she ties you up, and, and... she... she starts movin', and throbbin', and these eggs come shootin' out of her! And then... Xander: What? Blayne: And then... Xander: Then what? Blayne: She mates with you! Xander: Sheeee... Blayne: That's not the worst part! Xander: That's not? Blayne: You seen her teeth? Right while she's, you know, right in the middle of... I saw her do it! I don't wanna die like that! Xander: Blayne! Blayne! Chill! It's okay. It's gonna be okay. We'll get outta this. Blayne: (hopeful) You gotta plan? What is it? Xander: Just, uh, let me perfect it! Blayne: (gives up hope) Oh, God... Oh, God... Oh, God... Cut to the library. Giles is talking with Carlyle on the phone in his office. Giles: I-I understand, Carlyle. Yes... I-I'll take every precaution. Uh, absolutely, i-i-it sounds exactly like the creature you described. Y-you were right all along about everything. Well, n-no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese, but... uh... Try to rest, old man. Yes... Ta! Bye now! He hangs up and comes out of his office. Willow and Buffy are at the PC. Giles: Dr. Ferris Carlyle spent years transcribing a lost pre-Germanic language. What he discovered he kept to himself until several teenage boys were murdered in the Cotswolds. Then he went hunting for it. Buffy: It being... Giles: Uh, he calls her a She-Mantis. This type of creature, the Kleptes-Virgo, or, or virgin-thief, appears in, in many cultures. The Greek sirens, the Celtic sea maidens, who, who tore the living flesh from the bones of, um... Buffy: Giles, while we're young! Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest. Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander's not a, uh... I mean, he's probably... Willow: (quickly gets up, worried) ...gonna die! (goes to the phone) Buffy: Okay, okay, (walks around Giles) so this thing is breeding and we need to find it and snuff it. (faces Giles) Any tips on the snuffing part? Giles: Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade. Willow is on the phone in the background behind Buffy talking to Xander's mom. Buffy: Slice and Dice. Giles: Well, whatever you do, it had better be certain and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous. Buffy: Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around. Giles: Yes, in a straitjacket, howling his innards out day and night. Buffy: Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops! Giles: Sorry... Willow: (off the phone now) Xander's not home! He told his mom he was going to his teacher's house to work on a science project. He didn't tell her where. Buffy: (to Willow) See if you can get her address off the substitute rolls. (to Giles) And you need to record bat sonar, and fast! Giles: Bat sonar, right. What? Buffy: Bats eat them. (leads Giles to the stairs) The mantis hears sonar, its entire nervous system goes kaplooey. Giles: Where am I gonna find the... Buffy: In the vid library? There're no books, but it's dark and musty, you'll feel right at home, go! (exhales) (to herself) I guess I'll handle the armory. Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander and Blayne are in their cages. Xander is working on one of the bars. Blayne: Don't do anything to make her mad! Xander pulls the bar out. Blayne: (brightens) Hey, alright, now I can get outta my cage! (bummed) Into yours. What'd you do that for? Xander: A weapon! Blayne: (sees Natalie coming) I think you're gonna need it. Xander looks up and is startled. He drops the bar. Cut to the library. Miss French's record is coming out of the printer. Buffy comes in the door. Willow: Getting the address. Buffy: Great! Giles? Giles: (holding a tape recorder) Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled. Buffy: (takes the tape recorder) Let's roll! They all head for the door. Willow: According to Miss French's personnel records, she was born in 1907. She's, like, 90 years old! Giles: And extremely well preserved! Cut to Natalie's basement. She is looking back and forth between the boys. Blayne: Oh, God! (goes through the hole into Xander's cage) Uh, he did that, he broke the cage, take him, not me, take him! Cut to Giles, Buffy and Willow driving up to Miss French's house. They get out and run up to the door. Giles: What now, exactly? We can't just kick the door down. Buffy: Yeah, that *would* be wrong. She gets ready to kick, but the door opens. An old lady is there. Miss French: Hello, dear! I thought I heard... Are you selling something? Because I'd like to help you out, but... You see, I'm on a fixed income. Buffy: I'm looking for Miss French. Miss French: I'm Miss French. Buffy: Natalie French, the substitute biology teacher? Miss French: (laughs) Goodness, that's me! I taught for over thirty years. I retired in 1972. Buffy: (to Giles) I can't believe this! She used Miss French's records to get into the school. She could be anywhere! Miss French: No, dear! I'm right here! Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander: What's she doing? Blayne: I think it's eeny, meeny, miney... Xander: Moe? The camera closes in on Xander's terrified face. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Natalie's basement. She opens the door to the cage. Xander crawls out on his butt, bar in hand. Xander: I'm comin', I'm comin'. When he's just out of the cage he swings the bar and hits Natalie as he gets up. She staggers. He runs for the stairs. Halfway up Natalie trips him with her claw, and he tumbles back down the stairs. Cut to Miss French's house. Giles, Willow and Buffy are going back to the car. Willow: What do we do now? Giles: Abject prayer and supplication would spring to mind. Buffy: I saw her walking past this park with her grocery bags. She lives in this neighborhood. Willow: I'm gonna start banging on doors. (heads for the next house) Buffy: (stops Willow) Wait, no, we do *not* have time for that! Willow: We have to do something! Buffy: We will. Cut to the manhole cover where Buffy saw Claw Guy go in. Buffy lifts it off and starts to climb in. Buffy: I won't be long. (goes down) Giles: W... Buffy? Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander is tied up with leather straps. Natalie is in his face. Blayne: Oh, yeah, here it comes! Xander: What? What's happening?! Blayne: How do you like your eggs, bro, over easy or sunny side up? Xander: Eggs? She's gonna lay some... He sees her lay some eggs. He flashes to Natalie's lecture in science class. Natalie: The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate to fertilize them. His flashback is over, and he's scared. Cut to the manhole. Willow: (into the hole) Come on, Buffy! Cut to some bushes. There are sounds of Claw Guy swinging his arm and ropes whipping through the air. Buffy pushes Claw Guy out of the bushes. His arms are tied behind his back. Claw Guy: You! Buffy: Me! She shoves him down the street. Cut to Natalie's street. Buffy is pushing Claw Guy down the sidewalk in front of her. Giles and Willow follow. Buffy: Come on! Come on, where is she? Which house is it? I know you're afraid of her, I saw you! Come on! Claw Guy begins to react to Natalie's presence. Buffy: Come on. What? What is it? This is her, isn't it, this is her house? This is it! Better than radar! She lets go of him. Claw Guy cuts the ropes with his blades. Willow: Buffy! He swings at Buffy, but she leans back in time, only to trip and fall backward over the miniature picket fence running along the walk to the house. Claw Guy jumps to follow. She crawls backward on her butt until she hits the fence on the other side of the lawn. She rips a picket from the fence and thrusts it into Claw Guy as he takes another swing at her. He falls over dead. Giles breathes a sigh of relief. Cut to the basement. Natalie advances on Xander. Natalie: Kiss me! (laughs) Kiss me! Xander: Can I just say one thing? HEEEELLLLP! HEEEELLLLP! Buffy smashes the basement window and slides in. Blayne: Uh, hey, o-over here, hello! In the cage! She pulls her bag though the window. Buffy: (to Natalie) Let him go! She runs down the stairs and sets the bag down. Willow climbs in the window, too. Buffy pulls two cans of insect spray from the bag and sprays Natalie in the face. Giles climbs in as Willow runs behind Buffy to open the cage. The spray disorients Natalie. Giles comes down the stairs now too. Buffy points him at Xander. Blayne: Help me! Help me! Buffy: (to Giles) Get them outta here! She pulls the tape recorder and a machete from her bag. Blayne: Hey, help me! Help me! Giles undoes the leather straps holding Xander. Natalie retreats to the back of her nest. Buffy starts to close in on her. Buffy: Remember Dr. Gregory? You scarfed his head? Yeah, well, he taught me, you do your homework, you learn stuff. Like what happens to your nervous system when you hear this! She plays the tape. It's Giles' voice. Buffy stares at the machine in disbelief. Tape: ...extremely important to file not simply alphabetically... Buffy: (back to Giles) Giles! Giles: (on the floor pointing at Natalie) I-it's the wrong side! Natalie knocks the tape recorder and machete from Buffy's hands. Giles watches the recorder fly over him, hit the ground and slide under a refrigerator. He scrambles to get it. Buffy turns her attention back on Natalie. Natalie tries to trip Buffy, but she jumps over her claw. Xander comes up next to her with a can of bug spray and sprays it into Natalie's face. Buffy pushes him away from danger, and Natalie takes the opportunity to knock her down. Buffy raises herself onto her hands and one leg, and with the other does two crouching side kicks to Natalie's legs to keep her at bay. Giles searches under the refrigerator. Buffy kicks again. She sees the machete on the floor and grabs it. Giles has the recorder now, jumps around on the floor with the recorder in front of him and plays the tape. The sounds of bat sonar severely hurt and disorient Natalie. She flails her claws around. Buffy: Bat sonar. Makes your whole nervous system go to Hell. You can go there with it! She slashes at Natalie fiercely and repeatedly with the machete, hacking her to pieces. She's winded afterward. Giles gets up. Willow runs over to Xander. Blayne is out of his cage. They look at the carnage. Giles: Well, I... I'd say it's deceased. Willow: And dissected. Xander: (to Buffy) You okay? Buffy: Yeah. Xander: Just for the record, you were right, I'm an idiot, and God bless you! Buffy lowers her head. Xander: (to the others) And thank you guys, too. Blayne: Yeah, really! Giles: Pleasure... Willow: I'm really glad you're okay. It's so unfair how she only went after virgins. Xander laughs and looks back and forth between the girls. Xander: (to Willow) What? Willow: I mean, here you guys are, doing the right thing, the smart thing, when a lot of other boys your age... Blayne: Flag down on that play, babe. I am *not*... Giles: (interrupts) Well, you see, that's the She-Mantis' modus operandi. Uh, she only preys on the pure. Xander: Well, isn't this a perfect ending to a wonderful day! Blayne: My dad's a lawyer. Anyone repeats this to anybody, they're gonna find themselves facing a lawsuit. Xander: Blayne! Shut up! Willow: I don't think it's bad, I think it's really... Xander holds up the machete. Willow: ...sweet! It's certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again. Xander takes the machete over to Natalie's nest, looks it over and starts hacking away at it. Cut to the Bronze. Buffy is at the bar wearing Angel's jacket. Angel comes up behind her. Buffy senses him and looks up at him. Angel: (smiles) I heard a rumor there was, uh, one less vampire walking around making a nuisance of himself. Buffy: There is. Guess I should thank you for the tip. Angel: Pleasure's mine. Buffy: Course, it would make things easier if I knew how to get in touch with you. Angel: I'll be around. Buffy: Or who you were? Angel just smiles and moves around to the other side of her. Buffy: Well... Anyway, you can have your jacket back. Angel: It looks better on you. He turns and leaves. Buffy stares after him. Angel gives another look back and disappears into the crowd. Buffy: (to herself) Oh boy! Cut to science class the next day. There's a new science teacher. Teacher: All midterm papers will be exactly six pages long. No more, no less. One third of your grade will be dependent... The camera closes in on Buffy, daydreaming. Teacher: ...on those papers. No more, no less. The bell rings. Buffy comes back to Earth. Everyone gets up and leaves. On the way out Buffy sees Dr. Gregory's glasses still on the lab bench where she left them. She picks them up and remembers him. She sees Dr. Gregory's jacket still hanging on the hook on the closet door and goes over to put the glasses in a pocket. Cut to inside the closet. As she closes the door the camera pans down from Buffy to a lower shelf and stops on a cluster of She-Mantis eggs attached underneath. One of the eggs hatches.

Episode 4 - summary

2004-11-23T13:49:00.000-08:00

Episode 4 "Teacher's Pet" Summary
Buffy's kindly biology teacher, Dr. Gregory, is attacked after class by a giant praying mantis, but as far as the students know, their teacher is just missing. The mysterious Angel appears at the Bronze that night to warn Buffy about a pending attack. His arm looks as if it was cut by a tiger’s claw. The next day, Dr. Gregory’s class is being taught by a substitute teacher -- the comely Miss Natalie French, who drives Xander ga-ga. She tells the class about the science fair, and asks for volunteers to help her create a model of a praying mantis egg sacks -- after school. As expected, Xander’s hand shoots up, as does football heartthrob Blayne’s and every other boy in the class. Miss French decides that Blayne can be her assistant that afternoon, and Xander the next. Later in the cafeteria, Cordelia opens the fridge to discover Dr. Gregory’s headless body. Buffy speculates that Angel’s warning and his unusual wound have something to do with Dr. Gregory’s gruesome murder, so she stakes out the park. She sees a vampire with one arm that has three sharp claws where the hand should be. The creature approaches Miss French, who is walking by with grocery bags, but instead of pouncing on her, he sniffs her and runs away in terror.
Buffy catches the teacher turning her head around -- all the way around. Buffy finally figures it out: Miss French is a praying mantis! Following her lead, Giles tries to get in touch with a friend in England who’s an expert in the field -- the only catch being that the man is institutionalized. Meanwhile, hacker par excellence Willow has found that Blayne’s mother has reported him missing. Since it’s Xander’s turn to work with Miss French this afternoon, Buffy warns him, but he thinks Buffy is just jealous. Miss French gives Xander a drink as soon as he shows up. As he’s getting woozy, he thinks he hears someone calling, but she ignores it. She takes his hand, and her arm turns into a praying mantis’ foreleg. He promptly passes out, and he is dragged away by Miss French. When he comes to, he finds himself in a cage in Miss French’s cellar, with Blayne in an adjoining cage. Surrounded by headless bodies in cages, he calls to Miss French, who is now completely converted to her giant-mantis form.
After talking to his strait-jacketed friend, Giles confirms there is a creature called a She-Mantis, who lures male virgins to her nest. An extremely powerful foe, it was the She-Mantis who put Giles’ friend into his deranged condition. Buffy suggests that Giles record some bat sonar from the video library -- playing that for the She-Mantis will disrupt her nervous system. Exhausting other methods, Buffy decides to enlist Claw Guy to help her sniff out the She-Mantis. Going from door to door, he finally winces when they reach the correct house. Turning on her, he tries to attack Buffy, who promptly kills him with a fence slat. Buffy enters the basement and uses a few blasts of the insecticide to send her scurrying off, then plays the bat sonar. The tape has the desired effect on the crazed insect, enabling Buffy to hack it to death with a machete. We think this is the end of the She-Mantis until we catch a glimpse of the inside of Dr. Gregory’s classroom closet, where a glistening egg sack is stirring at the bottom.

Episode three - Written by and air dates

2004-11-23T13:48:00.000-08:00

Written By: Dana RestonDirected By: Stephen CraggProduction Code: 4V03The Witch: Ep1.3 Trailer (191 KB)Ep1.3 Images
Air Dates:
USA, WB
Monday, 17 March 1997
Aust, 7
Thursday, 11 December 1997
Can, WB
Monday, 17 March 1997
Ger, Pro7
Saturday, 10 October 1998
It, Italia 1
Sunday, 18 June 2000
NZ, Tv3
Monday, 14 July 1997
Fr, Serie
Fri-01-May-1998

Episode three - Stats

2004-11-23T13:47:00.000-08:00

Vampires Slain:
0

Demons Slain:
0

Human Deaths:
0

Total:
0

>> General Statistics

Sex Scenes
None
Kisses
1
Hugging
1
Tears
2
Vampire Kills
None
Deaths
None
Tear Jerkers
None
Swearing
None
Arguing
6
Eat/Drink
6
Listen To Music
1
Songs
4
Have Conversations
84
Break Something
7
Hurting
15
Laughing
4
Advice Given
4
Screams
5
Spells
4
Sleeping
3
Telephone Use
None
Watching Television
None
Biting
None
Studying
1
Buffy Gets Harmed
5
Scenes In A Car
2
Jewelry Worn
2
>> Character Statistics

Buffy Gives Attitude
42
Willow Does A Spell/Goes Online
3
Xander Is Witty
33
Giles Cleans/Takes Off His Glasses/Puts Them Back On
1

Episode three - script

2004-11-23T13:46:00.000-08:00

The Witch
Written by: Dana RestonDirected by: Stephen CraggTranscribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~ I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "The Witch". It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I felt they were needed. I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please let me know and I will post an update. rev 99.06.23 This episode was originally broadcast on March 17, 1997. ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School. Cut to the library. Giles: (upset) This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! (begins pacing) I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... (stops pacing) Cult? Buffy: (wearing a cheerleader outfit) You don't like the color? Giles: I d... (exasperated) Do you, um... (puts some books on a cart) Do you ignore everything I say as a, as a rule? Buffy: No, I believe that's your trick. Giles pushes the cart to the counter. Buffy skips in front of him and poses. Buffy: I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad! Giles: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it. (goes back to the table) Buffy: And you'll be stopping me how? Giles: Well, I... (sits on the edge of the table and crosses his arms) By appealing to your common sense, if such a creature exists. Buffy: I will still have time to fight the forces of evil, okay? I just wanna have a life, I wanna do something normal. Something safe. Cut to the witch's attic. The camera moves through the dark space. There are flowers and herbs hanging upside down from the rafters to dry and personal items with identification tags. The witch moves around in the darkness. The camera follows her to the cauldron. She waves a pendant on a chain over the brew, then pulls it back. She goes over to a rack and yanks off a doll hanging there by its neck on a wire. Cut to the gym. Cheerleader tryouts are about to start. Girls are stretching and practicing, doing back handsprings, cartwheels and walking handstands. One girl does a roundoff followed by a back handspring. Buffy, Willow and Xander come through the door. Willow: Giles didn't approve, huh? Buffy: He totally lost his water. We haven't seen a vampire in over a week. I'd say he should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old. Willow: Well, we're behind you. Xander: People scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all like this! He notices Amber doing the splits between two chairs. Xander: Ooo, stretchy! Where was I? Willow: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience. Xander: Who said I was pretending? (to Buffy) Oh, hey! Here's a good luck thing for tryouts. (hands her a bracelet) Buffy: What's this? Willow: What's that? Buffy: Oh, how sweet! (reads the inscription) 'Yours Always.' Xander: I-i-it came that way, really, they all said that! Willow: (exhales) Cordelia: (approaches them) Just look at that Amber. Who does she think she is, a Laker Girl? Willow: I heard she turned them down. Joy, the cheerleading squad leader, steps up with her clipboard and calls for everyone's attention. Joy: Okay, listen up! Let's begin with (checks her clipboard) Amber Grove. If you're not auditioning, move off the floor. Willow: (to Amy) Amy! Hi! Amy: (comes over) Hi! Willow: I didn't know you wanted to be a cheerleader! You lost a lot of weight. Amy: Had to. Willow: Do you know Buffy? Amy: Hi. Buffy: Hi. Amy: Oh, how I hate this, let me count the ways. Amber begins her routine. It's very athletic. She starts off with a needle-split lift followed by a double spin and a jumping double spin. After landing, Amber launches herself into an aerial and a cartwheel. Jazz slides are then followed by a single spin. Everyone in the gym is intent on watching her. Amy: (to Buffy) She trained with Benson. He's one of the best coaches money can buy. Buffy: They have cheerleading coaches? Amy: Oh, yeah! Don't you have? I train with my mom, three hours in the morning, three at night. Buffy: Hmm, that much quality time with my mom would probably lead to some quality matricide. Amy: Oh, I know it's hokey. But she's really great. Cordelia turns her back to Amber with a look of contempt on her face. Cordelia: Hmm! Buffy and Xander watch Amber in amazement. Amy and Willow are impressed, too. Amber's hands begin to smoke. Buffy: What the...? Willow: That girl's on fire! Cordelia: (facing away, not seeing the smoke) Enough of the hyperbole! Amber's hands catch fire. She drops her pompoms and screams. Buffy reacts. Amber flails her hands in the air. Buffy jumps up onto the stands and pulls down a banner. She runs back to Amber, knocks her down and snuffs out the flames with the banner. Everyone stares in shock. Buffy: (trying to comfort Amber) It's okay, it's okay, you're gonna be... okay. (to herself) God! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy is pacing. Willow and Xander are sitting at the studytable. Buffy: I've been slaying vampires for more than a year now, and I have seen some pretty cringeworthy things, but... nobody's hands ever got toasted before. Giles: (comes out of the cage) I imagine not. Buffy: So, this isn't a vampire problem. Giles: No. Buffy: (turns to Giles) But it is funky, right? Not of the norm? Giles: Quite. Spontaneous human combustion is, is rare, and, and scientifically unexplainable, but there have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all that's left is a pile of ashes. Willow: That's all that would have been left if it hadn't been for Buffy. Xander: So, we have no idea what caused this. That's a comfort. Giles: But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! (sits on the edge of the table) There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. (everyone looks at him) Pardon me for finding the glass half full. Buffy: Any common denominators in cases of spontaneous combustion? Giles: Uh, rage. In most cases the person who combusted was, was terribly angry or, or upset. Xander: So maybe Amber's got this power to make herself be on fire. It's like the human torch, only it hurts. Buffy: I need to get the skinny on Amber. Find out if she's had any colorful episodes before. (starts to go) Willow: That means hacking illegally into the school's computer system. At last, something *I* can do! She and Xander get up and go over to Buffy. Xander: I'll ask around about her. Buffy: You guys don't have to get involved. Xander: What d'ya mean? We're a team! Aren't we a team? Willow: Yeah! You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes! Buffy: I just don't like putting you guys in danger. Xander: Oh, huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away. Buffy: Okay, just walk softly, at least until we know a little more. I mean, what if Amber isn't causing these problems herself? Giles: Well, then we have to determine who or what did, and, uh, deal with it accordingly. Cut to the kitchen at the Summers house. There are several wooden boxes and crates. Joyce is trying to pry one open with a crowbar. Buffy comes in. Buffy: Hey! Joyce: Hi, how was school? Buffy: Mm, a reverent joy. What's all this? Joyce: It's for the tribal art display. Buffy: Cool! (examines a piece) We had tryouts today. Joyce: Oh, great! How'd it go? (exhales) Buffy: I didn't actually get to try out. There was an accident. Pretty fierce competition, though. Joyce: Oh, I know you'll do fine. Keep on pluggin', just have to get back on the horse. Buffy: Mom? Joyce: Yeah? Buffy: What was I trying out for? Joyce: Oh, uh... (stops prying at the crate and looks at Buffy) Some activity? I have no idea, I'm sorry. Buffy: That's okay. Your platitudes are good for all occasions. Joyce: (exhales) I'm distracted. (starts prying again and exhales) Got a lotta inventory to go through here. (exhales) This is my Gallery's first major show. (exhales and gives up) You know, it might not physically kill you to give me a hand here. (goes to check her clipboard) Buffy grabs the lid of the crate and effortlessly tears it off. Buffy: It was cheerleading. Joyce: Oh good! I'm glad you're taking that up again, it'll keep you out of trouble. Buffy: I'm not *in* trouble. Joyce: No, not yet. Buffy is hurt. Her mother looks up from her clipboard and notices. Joyce: I mean, you stopped cheerleading just before the trouble, so it's good you're going back. She goes back to the crate and partially lifts out a statue. Joyce: Oh, dear. Buffy: What? Joyce: The fertility statue, you don't need to see it. She replaces the crate's lid and goes back to her clipboard. Buffy: Y'know, there's this girl, Amy, and, um, she trains with her mom, like, three hours a day. Joyce: Uh-huh. Buffy: Sounds like her mom's pretty into it. Joyce: Sounds like her mom doesn't have a lot to do. She walks out of the kitchen with a piece of art. Buffy lifts the crate's lid a little bit and looks in. Buffy: Jeepers! Cut to the gym the next day. Tryouts have resumed. Joy: (pacing) Despite the terrible thing that happened yesterday we still have to pick new cheerleaders. If you make the team you'll find your names posted in the quad after lunch. Let's begin with group performance. Amy: (to Buffy) Why do my hands have to sweat when I get nervous? Buffy: (to Amy) Don't worry. You'll do great. Joy: (loudly) Five, six, seven, eight! All: Sunnydale! Sunnydale! We never fail! We never fail! Jump and Shoot! Swish and score! The other team is such a bore! Yeah! Amy blows the cartwheel and crashes into Cordelia. Cordelia yelps as she falls and then quickly gets up. Cordelia: You saw that, right? That wasn't me! You saw that, right? (looks at Amy and back again) Right? Cut to the halls. Amy is admiring the trophies in the case with a longing look. Buffy comes up next to her. Amy notices her, smiles and points to a picture in the case. Amy: That's my mom! Buffy: No! (reads the inscription) Catherine Madison. Get down with your bad self! Amy: Her nickname was 'Catherine the Great'. She took that team and made them tri-county champions. Y'know, no one's ever done that before, or since. She and my dad were Homecoming King and Queen. They got married right after graduation. Buffy: That's kinda romantic. Amy: Well, he was a big loser. Never made any money. Ran off with Miss Trailer Trash when I was twelve. Buffy: Okay, that part's less romantic. My folks split up, too. Amy: Drag, huh? Uh, he left my mom with nothing. She put herself through cosmetology school. (smiles) Bought me everything I ever wanted. (shakes her head) And never once gained a single pound. Buffy: (walks around to face Amy) Uh, she sounds really great, Amy, but, um... it doesn't mean that you need to lock step as far as this cheerleading thing. Amy: She was the best! And I can't get my body to *move* like hers! I choked in there so bad! Buffy: No, Amy, you did fine. Amy: (dejected) I'm gonna get changed. Buffy: Wait! No... Willow: (walking by) Hey, Amy! (comes over to Buffy) Is she okay? Buffy: No, she's, she's wiggin' about her mom, big cheer queen back when. Willow: Yeah, her mom's kinda... Buffy: ...Nazi like? Willow: Heil. If she gains an ounce she padlocks the fridge and won't eat anything but broth. Buffy: So, mommy dearest is really... Mommy Dearest? Willow: There's a bitter streak. But Amy's nice. We used to hang in Junior High. When her mom would go on a broth kick, Amy'd come over to my house and we'd stuff ourselves with brownies! They start down the hall. Buffy: Hey, any word on Amber? Willow: Nothing thrilling. Average student. Got detention once, for smoking. Regular smoking... with a cigarette, not, like, being smoky. Buffy: Hmm. Willow: All pretty normal. Buffy: So we just have to wait and we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing will. Cut to the girls' locker room. The camera shows the showers dripping. Cut to a row of lockers. The camera follows them around a corner to Amy alone at her locker. She hears a noise and turns to look. Nothing. The showers keep dripping. Amy closes her locker and starts to go, but is surprised by Cordelia. Cordelia: I have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad, adored by every varsity male as far as the eye can see! We have to achieve our dreams, Amy. Otherwise we... wither and die! Amy: Look, I'm sorry about... Cordelia: (cuts Amy off) Shhh! If your supreme klutziness out there today takes me out of the running, you're gonna be so *very* beyond sorry! (smiles) Have a nice day. Cordelia turns and leaves. She throws her scrunchie into an open locker and slams the door as she rounds the corner, but it doesn't stay shut. Amy leans against her locker, apparently shaken. Cut outside. Willow and Xander are walking along the colonnade. Willow: I told Buffy about Amber. Xander: Cool! Was she wearin' it? The bracelet, she was wearin' it, right? Pretty much like we're goin' out. Willow: Except without the hugging or kissing or her knowing about it. Xander: So I'm just a figure of fun. (exhales) I should ask her out, right? Willow: You won't know till you ask. Xander: That's why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that knows about girl stuff! Willow: Oh, great. I'm a guy. Xander: Oh, hey, they're posting the list! He runs off to check the list of names for the cheerleading squad. Cut to the crowd in front of the bulletin board. Buffy and Amy are at the back. A girl rushes away in tears because her name is not on the list. Amy: I can't take this. Joy steps away from posting the list on the bulletin board. Lishanne sees her name on the list. Lishanne: Yes! Xander comes up behind Buffy and Amy. Xander: Cover me, I'm goin' in. He pushes his way through the crowd and looks at the list. Cordelia comes out of the crowd. Cordelia: (to Amy) You're lucky! Amy: I made it? Cordelia: *I* made it! Xander comes back out of the crowd and gets hit on the way. Xander: One of those girls hit me really hard! You should test for steroids. Okay, not only did you make the team, but you, Miss Summers, are the first alternate, and Amy's number three. Amy looks at Buffy, badly disappointed, and leaves. Xander: And what a better way to celebrate than with a romantic drive through... Willow: Xander, alternates are the ones who didn't make the team, they only fill in if something happens to the ones who did. Buffy: Excuse me. (goes to console Amy) Xander: (downtroden) For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me. Buffy: (catches up with Amy) At least it's over. And you know what I think we should do about it? Brownie pig-out, my house, after school. Amy: It's just how many more hours a day can I practice? Y'know, how much more can I do? This would never happen to my mother. Never. She walks off. Buffy stares after her. Cut to Amy's house. The camera closes in on the brickwork outside of the attic. Cut inside the attic. The camera pans from the wall across a bunch of tagged personal items that she's taken from people. Cut to the cauldron. Amy stirs the pot. Amy: Give me the power. Give me the dark. She goes to get another doll from her rack. Amy: I call on you, the laughing gods. She yanks one of the dolls off of the rack. Amy: Let your blackness crawl beneath my skin. She wraps Cordelia's scrunchie around the doll's head. Amy: Accept thy sacrifice... of Cordelia. Feed on her. She drops the doll into the brew. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Summers kitchen. The toaster pops up, and Buffy pulls out a freshly toasted half of a bagel. She takes it to the island in the middle of the kitchen for more preparation. Her mother comes in. Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. (finds herself) Oh, look! There I am. She puts the book down on the island and goes to get a cup of coffee. Buffy looks at the picture. Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair. Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history? Buffy: Well, it's really cool, but I gotta book. Joyce: Well, I was thinking. I know the cheerleading thing didn't work out... Maybe you should think about joining the yearbook staff. I did, it was a lot of fun. Buffy: Not really my tip, mom. (opens the refrigerator) Joyce: I was, uh, photo editor. I got to be on every page, made me look much more popular than I was. Buffy: And have you seen the kids that do yearbook? Nerds pick on them. (walks to her bag) Joyce: (insulted) Some of the best times I had in school were working on the yearbook! Buffy: (faces her mom) Oh, this just in: I'm not you! I'm into my own thing. Joyce: Your own thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and we had to move here to find a decent school that would take you! Buffy is hurt. She takes her bag and starts to go. Joyce: Honey, uhhh... (Buffy leaves) (disgusted with herself) Uhhh! Great parenting form! Little shaky on the dismount. Cut to the hall at school. Cordelia walks past Willow and Xander in a daze. Xander: Cordelia, you haven't been mean to me all day. Is it something I've done? (to Willow) Okay, see how she has no clue that I'm even a mammal, much less a human being? Willow: (takes the pen from her mouth) I see that. Xander: This is the invisible man syndrome. A blessing in Cordelia's case. A curse in Buffy's. Willow: (closes her locker) You're not invisible to Buffy. She chews on her pen some more as they start to walk down the hall. Xander: It's worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you walk on every day but don't even really see it. Willow: (takes her pen out of her mouth) Like a pen that's all chewed up, and you know you should throw it away, but you don't, not 'cause you like it so much, more 'cause you're just used to... Xander: Will, yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush. Willow: Or I could be wrong! Maybe you should beat around the bush more. Xander: Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night, that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes. Buffy comes out of a classroom and walks toward them. Xander: Okay, into battle I go. (quickly turns to Willow) Would you ask her out for me? He grabs her by the shoulders, startling her. Buffy sees Cordelia trying to work the combination on a locker. Xander pulls himself together. Xander: No. Man. (lets go of Willow) Me battle. (to Buffy) Buffy! Would you like to, uh... Buffy: (reaches Willow and Xander) Is that even Cordelia's locker? They see Cordelia give up and continue down the hall. Xander: Huh? Oh, I don't know. What I'm saying is accompany me Friday night... Buffy: (watching Cordelia go and cutting him off) Xander, I have to, um... (faces him) We can make this up later. You don't mind, do you? She gives him her book and follows Cordelia. Xander whistles the sound of a bomb falling and exploding. Willow looks at him and continues chewing on her pen. Cut outside. Buffy comes out of the hall and looks around for Cordelia. She sees her and starts to follow. Cut to Mr. Pole, the Driver's Ed. Teacher. He's waiting impatiently for Cordelia. He turns and sees her coming. Mr. Pole: Nice of you to join us, Cordelia. We didn't keep you waiting or anything, did we? It's your turn to drive. (to the others) Okay, people, let's buckle up. Cordelia: (goes around the front of the car) I don't wanna drive today, Mr. Pole. Mr. Pole: You've flunked Driver's Ed. twice already. Show me some moves, or you'll be taking the bus to college. He gets into the car. Cordelia gets in last. Buffy watches from behind a school bus. Mr. Pole: Okay. Check the brake. Check the mirror. Start the engine. Cordelia turns the key and the engine starts, but she seems out of it. Mr. Pole: Hello? Put the car in drive. Cordelia struggles with the shifting lever. Mr. Pole: Let's move forward through the cones with a gentle even turn to the... The car takes off backward, crashes into some signs and stops. Cordelia gets it in drive, and the car races forward, burning rubber. Mr. Pole: Slow down. Slow, slow, turn right! Turn right! Cordelia loses control as the car races along the course, knocking down cones and signs. Buffy begins running after them. Mr. Pole: Brakes! Brakes! The car crashes through a fence and bushes and careens out onto the street, where it comes to a sudden halt. Another car just manages to swerve around them. Mr. Pole: Everybody out! They all get out. Cordelia is in a daze, and she walks into the middle of the street. A delivery van is coming the other way, but it doesn't slow down. Buffy comes running. Cordelia turns to see the van coming and screams. Buffy leaps over the Driver's Ed. car and grabs Cordelia, pulling her down and out of the way. The van takes out the open car door as Buffy and Cordelia roll to a stop. Cordelia: Oh, my God, I, I can't see anything! Buffy: It's, it's okay, it's... (sees Cordelia's eyes) Oh God! Cordelia: What's happening? I can't see anything! Her eyes no longer have irises and are completely white. Cut to the library. The team is sitting at the table. Giles: Witchcraft. Blinding your enemy to disorient and disable them is, it's classic! Xander: First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale. Giles: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia? Willow: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that? Giles: And setting Amber ablaze? Xander: Yeah, those guys don't hang... Buffy: They're both cheerleaders. Giles: Someone doesn't like cheerleading. Buffy: Or likes it too much. Willow: Amy! Buffy: Amy! Xander: So, you guys are leaning towards Amy? Buffy: She's desperate to get on that team, and I've got this feeling she'd do just about anything to make her mom's dream come true. Giles: Uh, let me make sure I have this right. This witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells so that she can become a cheerleader? Buffy: I think you're underestimating the amount of pressure a parent can lay on you. If you're not a picture perfect carbon copy they tend to wig. Willow: Cheerleading was kind of her mom's last hurrah. Xander: Look, we still have to stop Amy. We should grab her and... Giles: (interrupts) I think we should be sure she's the witch before we arouse her suspicions. She's, she's capable of some fairly unpleasant things. Buffy: Okay, alright, (gets up) so, you're in high school, you are desperate to make the team and please your mom, so you turn to witchcraft. What's the first thing you're gonna do? Willow: Check out the books on witchcraft! She and Buffy go over to the computer to access the on-line library card catalog. Xander: Uh, no! No, that would be the *last* thing you would do! You don't wanna leave a paper trail. Forget that! Willow: It'll just take a minute. Xander gets up and stands behind them. Xander: We don't have a minute! Cheerleaders are in danger. Buffy's in danger. (to Buffy) You were the first alternate, you are on the team now that Cordelia's out. You could be next. We gotta get you to a safe house. Willow: Xander... Xander: Yeah. Willow: (exhales and reads the monitor) 'Witches: Historic Roots to Modern Practice.' Checked out by Alexander Harris. Buffy: (reads also) 'The Pagan Rites', checked out by Alexander... Xander: Alright, alright, it's not what you think. Willow: You like to look at the semi-nude engravings? Xander: Oh, well, uh, I-I guess it *is* what you think. Giles: Have you all quite finished? We have to find a conclusive test. There may be something in here... (pages through a book) Yes, this should do it. You'll need some of her hair, a little quicksilver and some aqua fortis. Willow: Well, that's just mercury and nitric acid. You can get that in the science lab. Giles: (reads) 'Heat ingredients and apply to witch, and if a spell has been cast in the previous 48 hours, witch's skin turns blue.' Hmm. (shuts the book) Oh, and you'll need some Eye of Newt. Cut to science class. The camera shows Dr. Gregory holding a frog as reflected in a mirror propped up on a stick above him. It pans down to show him holding the frog up for the class to see. Dr. Gregory: Those of you in track one may begin your dissections... now. He indicates where the students should cut their frogs. Cut to Xander trying to take his frog's eye out with tweezers. Dr. Gregory: Those of you in track two (cut to him) take your hydrochloric acid and your ammonium hydroxide and carefully pour them into your beakers. He begins to pour. Cut to Xander still struggling with the frog's eye. Dr. Gregory: Now slow, slow... Xander: I can't. Willow grabs the frog and takes out its eye. Dr. Gregory: ...capping one, I'm being safe. And you get... Willow: (drops the eye into the beaker) Eye of Newt! Cut to Dr. Gregory. The ingredients in the beaker react and begin to bubble and smoke. Dr. Gregory: ...that. Cut to Xander. Xander: How's Buffy doing with the hair? They look toward Buffy. Cut to Lishanne at another lab table. Lishanne: (to Buffy) Isn't this exciting! Buffy: Oh, yeah! (to Amy) Amy, help me. Um, which is the hydrochloric acid and which is the, uh, ammonium hydroxide? Amy: Well, the bottle that says 'hydrochloric acid' is usually the hydrochloric acid. Buffy: Read the bottles. Good concept! (laughs nervously and drops her pencil) Oops. She crouches down to pick up the pencil. She reaches into Amy's bag and pulls some hair off of her brush. She gets up and tries to pretend nothing happened. She glances at Amy to gauge her reaction. Amy smiles back weakly. She noticed but pretends she didn't. Buffy waves her pencil and smiles back. She heads back to her lab table with an expression of relief at having avoided a close call. She puts the hair on Willow's bench as she walks by. Willow picks up the hair and mixes it into the concoction. Amy looks back at them to see what they're doing. Willow and Xander look back nervously. Xander: (in a low voice) Wave 'Hi' to the nice little witch! Amy overhears and gives them another quick look. Willow takes the beaker and pours some of the liquid into a test-tube. Willow: All set. (hands the tube to Buffy) Do you have a plan? Buffy: Spill it on her. Try 'n' make it look natural. Xander: We're right behind you, only... further back. Buffy slowly makes her way over to Amy. Dr. Gregory: Lishanne, can you tell me why these chemicals have this reaction? Buffy pours some of the mixture onto Amy's arm and feigns an accident, drawing in her breath. She sees the liquid turn blue on contact. Dr. Gregory: Lishanne? Amy apparently didn't notice the spill. She's looking over at Lishanne. Dr. Gregory: Are you... Oh, my God! Buffy looks over at Lishanne now, too, and sees her shaking her head violently. She turns to the camera, and everyone sees that she no longer has a mouth. Buffy stares in amazement. She looks back at Amy, who looks amazed, too. Willow and Xander are also stunned. Cut to the halls. Buffy, Willow and Xander are discussing the result of their experiment. Xander: Did you see? Amy was as freaked out as the rest of us. Willow: So it's not her? Buffy: The test was positive! She's our Sabrina. I just don't think she realizes what she's doing. Willow: Well, should we talk to her? Buffy: Maybe we should talk to her mother. I wonder if *she* knows what she's created. Cut to Amy's house. She walks through the gate with determination. The gate has a gargoyle face on it. Cut inside the house. She comes in and looks around for her mother. Amy: Where are you? Cut to Catherine. She quickly turns off the TV and gets up. Amy sees her. Amy: Another productive day in front of the TV? Catherine just looks back. Amy: I got a history report due tomorrow. (drops her bag) Write it! Catherine can only keep looking and exhales. Amy: (considers) I should be on that team by now. But instead Miss *Buffy* and friends are sneaking around stealing bits of my hair. Catherine shakes her head. Amy opens her hand, and out drops Buffy's bracelet. Amy: I'll be upstairs. Catherine watches her go. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning in Buffy's room. It's a bit of a mess. The camera pans through it and stops on Buffy still sleeping. The alarm clock goes off. She slaps it with her hand hard enough to smash it with her strength. Buffy: Oh! Oops! Oh... (sits up) Mm... Cut to the kitchen. Joyce is making fresh-squeezed orange juice. Buffy comes dancing in singing and wearing her cheerleader outfit. Buffy: Macho, macho, man! I want to be a macho man. Macho... Oh, hey, juice! (grabs the glass and drinks) Mm... Quality juice. Not from concentrate! Joyce: (glances at Buffy) You're in a good mood. Buffy: I am! I'm on the squad, which is great, 'cause I feel like cheering and leading others to cheer. Ooo, hey, juice! Buffy takes the second glass and drinks again. Joyce: Listen, honey, about yesterday, I really... Buffy: Mm! That is totally yester. Besides, it's not like you were wrong, y'know. I did get kicked outta school. I'm just wacky that way! Joyce: Still, I just want you to know that, despite the problems you've had, I really... Buffy: (cuts her off) Mom, you just don't get it. And, believe me, you don't want it. Y'know, there are just some things about being a Vampire Slayer that the older generation... Joyce: A what? Buffy: It's a... long story. Joyce: Buffy, are you feeling well? Buffy: What? Oh, I'm, I'm fine, y'know? What, like, I can't be in a good mood? Is it, like, a new house rule? Fine, y'know? It's just fine, fine, fine, 'cause... (sings) I'm a macho, macho man! I want to be a macho man! (bobs her head) Macho, macho man! (leaves the kitchen) I want to be a macho man! Cut to the gym for cheerleading practice. Buffy is positioned next to Joy in the lineup. Joy: (loudly) Five, six, seven, eight! The cheerleaders begin practicing a routine. Buffy: Turn up the music! The routine continues until Buffy accidentally stomps on Joy's foot. Joy: (yells) Ow! Get it together Buffy! We have a game in less than four hours! Xander and Willow come in. Buffy: (jumping gleefully) Willow! Xander! My buds are here! I love my buds! Hi! (notices everyone staring) Hi... Oh... She gets back in line, and the routine continues. Xander: (to Willow) Is it me, or is Buffy a bit looped? Willow casts a worried gaze. The cheerleaders continue with a series of assisted cartwheels. Willow: We better get her outta there. Xander: Yeah, before she... Buffy overthrows Joy's aerial, sending her crashing into the gym wall. Xander: ...hurts someone. Ay... Joy gets up as Buffy comes running over. Buffy: Did I do that? Joy: (pushes Buffy) You are *so* out of here! Willow and Xander come running up and each grab one of Buffy's arms. Willow: It's not her fault! Xander: She's on medication. Buffy: (to Xander) What? Joy: Well, obviously not enough. Who's our next alternate? (sees Amy behind her) Oh. Amy, you just made cheerleader. Buffy: No, no, no. You don't want her, she's a wi... Xander quickly puts his hand over Buffy's mouth. Xander: A wise choice indeed! He and Willow pull Buffy away, nodding and casting nervous smiles at Amy and Joy. Amy stares after them. Cut to the hall outside the gym. Willow and Xander are supporting Buffy between them as they come down the hall. Buffy: She's a witchy! Willow: Buffy... Buffy: I just got kicked off the team, didn't I? Xander: I don't think it was your fault. Buffy: Hmm, I know you don't, that's 'cause you're my friend. You're my Xander-shaped friend! (leans her head on his shoulder) Do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander? Willow: We gotta to get her to a... Xander: (stops Willow with a gesture) Let her speak! Buffy: I'll tell you! You're not like other boys at all. Xander: Well... Buffy: You are totally, and completely one of the girls! (to Willow) I'm that comfy with him. Willow smiles widely. Xander: That's great. Buffy: Any other guy who'd give me a bracelet, they'd... wanna date me, and be like a... She begins to feel woozy. Buffy: Oh! I, I don't feel so good. Willow: Buffy? Buffy collapses into their arms. Cut to the library. Buffy is lying back in a chair with a wet cloth on her forehead. Willow supports her head and keeps the cloth in place with her hand. Willow: We've gotta get her to a hospital! Giles: They can't help her. This is a bloodstone vengeance spell. (takes her pulse) Hits the body hard like a, a quart of alcohol, and then it e-eradicates the, uh, immune system. Xander: A vengeance spell, like she's trying to get even with Buffy? Buffy: 'Cause she knows I know she's a witch. Giles: The others she just wanted out of the running. You she intends to, um... Buffy: Kill? Willow: How much time do we have? Giles: Oh, uh, I'm sure, uh... Buffy: Truth. Please. Giles: Couple of hours... Three at most. Xander: Well, how do we reverse the spell? Giles: (gets up) Well I, I've been researching that, and, uh, we can reverse all the spells if, um... (takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes) ...we can just lay our hands on, on Amy's spell book. Willow: And if we can't get a hold of it? Giles: Well, the other way is to cut the witch's head off. (puts his glasses back on) Xander: Show of hands! (raises his hand) Buffy: It's not Amy's fault. She only became a witch to survive her mother. Xander: (to Buffy) Look, I don't care why, I just care that you go on breathing. Buffy: Giles, where would she be casting these spells? Giles: Oh, she needs a, a sacred space. A-a-a pentagram, um, large pot. Buffy: Her home. Okay. Help me up. Xander and Willow help her up. Buffy: We'll just go to her house and we'll get her book. Willow: Okay, we'll go with you. Buffy: Uh, no! You guys stay here and keep an eye on Amy. Giles: (takes Buffy from them) And keep her away from the science lab. We'll need it to cast our counter-spells. He and Buffy go. Willow and Xander exchange worried looks. Xander exhales. Cut to Giles' old car pulling up to Amy's house. Cut inside. Catherine has a plate of brownies on her lap and takes a bite out of one. Giles knocks on the door. She looks up, startled. Giles knocks some more. Buffy looks very tired and out of it. Catherine slides the plate under the coffee table and gets up. Giles knocks again. Catherine opens the door. Catherine: Who are you? Wha, um, uh, is there something wrong? Giles: Mrs. Madison, we need to talk to you about your daughter. Catherine: I'm not allow... You'll have to come back later. She tries to close the door, but Giles prevents her and pushes his way in. Giles: Excuse me! Catherine: What?! Giles: (turns to help Buffy) You alright? (looks for a place to sit her down) Um, in here. (leads Buffy into the living room) (to Catherine) Your daughter is meddling with something very dangerous, are you aware of that? (sits Buffy on the couch) Catherine: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. Giles: Oh, I think you know only too well. Catherine: You've got to go. She's gonna be home soon, and you... Giles: (interrupts, indicating Buffy) This girl is very sick. (very angrily) Now you will shut up and you will listen to me! Your daughter has access to some very powerful magicks, and somehow your obsession with cheerleading has made... Catherine: (interrupts, incredulous) I don't care about cheerleading! It's not my fault she's doing stuff. Buffy sees the brownies and begins to realize who Catherine really is. Giles: As her mother you should assume some responsibility for her actions. Catherine: (laughs) Well, you know, these kids today! I... (calms down a bit) She's out of her mind. Ever since dad, her dad... left I can't control her. Buffy slowly gets up. Giles: You're afraid of her? Buffy: Amy? Catherine looks at Buffy and realizes she's been found out. Giles looks at Buffy, still puzzled. Buffy: Are you Amy? Giles: (looks back at Catherine) I don't understand. Buffy: She switched! She switched your bodies, didn't she? Catherine looks down, defeated. Giles: (the truth dawns on him) Good Lord! Buffy: She wanted to relive her glory days. Catherine: (looks back up) She said I was wasting my youth. So she took it. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The living room at Amy's house. The camera pans to them sitting on the couch. Catherine: (distraught) I didn't know anything about her powers. I mean, when dad was here they would fight and yell and he would... call her a witch and... I mean, I would, just thought he meant... Oh, God, when he left I wanted to go with him. But she wouldn't even let me call. She went crazy, I mean, she'd lock herself upstairs for days, and she was always coming down on me, telling me I didn't deserve to have it so easy, and that I didn't know... how hard it was to be her, and... I guess she showed me, huh? Buffy: (takes her hand) Amy, it's gonna be okay. Catherine: A few months ago, I woke up in h... her bed! I didn't know where I was, and... then I looked in the mirror... Giles: She locked herself upstairs? Catherine: Yes. Giles: Where? Cut to the attic. Giles breaks in the door, comes in and starts to look around. Catherine comes in after him. Catherine: (tries to stop him) Don't! If she finds out I've been here she'll kill me! Giles walks around the cauldron to the rack with the hanging dolls. He sees the two dolls bound together for the body-switching spell and takes them in his hand. Giles: My God! (exhales) I believe we can reverse your mother's spell. Well, all of them, in fact. (lets go of the dolls) Catherine: You could? Really, you could? Giles: We need to find her books. There'd be specific volumes she'd need for this kind of casting. He begins to look around some more. He finds a trunk and knocks off the things on top. Giles: Collect those dolls, and, uh, any other personal effects... As he starts to open the trunk, a black cat jumps at him and surprises him. Giles: Ah! Nice kitty... (calms down) Let's see what you were guarding. (opens the trunk) Ah, yes! (takes out a book) This is it. Cut to Giles and Catherine coming back down the stairs and going into the living room. Buffy: Did we find? Giles: We found. Come on. He helps Buffy up from the couch. She's gotten weaker. Catherine: But where are you going? Giles: We're going to school. He realizes Buffy is too weak to walk and picks her up in his arms. Giles: And you're coming with us. Cut to the gym. The Sunnydale High basketball team comes through the doors and runs onto the court. The camera pans across the court, then back and across the cheerleaders, stopping on Amy. Amy's clearly very happy to be there. Cut to Xander and Willow in the stands, watching Amy. Cut to the science classroom. Giles carries Buffy in and lays her down on a lab table, knocking everything off of it in the process. He takes off his coat. Giles: (to Buffy) I'm gonna stop this. I promise. Buffy looks up at him. He folds his coat and puts it under her head as a pillow. Her vision is blurred. Giles: You just hang on. Buffy moans. Giles goes to the box of books and other things Catherine has set on Dr. Gregory's bench and reaches in to get Amy's spell book. Catherine: (concerned) How is she? Giles: We only have a few minutes left. Cut to the gym and the cheerleaders. Cheerleaders: Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! (yells from the cheerleaders) The camera focuses on Amy in slow motion. Cut to a slow pan across the crowd. Cut to Amy with a smile on her face. Cut to the science classroom. Catherine is cutting an eye from a frog, and is squeamish about it. Giles: Right! Here we go! Cut to Buffy. She's getting weaker. Cut back to Giles. He recites as he mixes a potion. Giles: The center is dark. Centrum est obscurus. The darkness breathes. Tenebrae respiratis. The listener hears. Hear me! Cut to the gym. The cheerleaders are doing a counting chant. The camera focuses on Amy. She stops chanting and looks startled. Her vision flashes to what Catherine sees in the science lab, the book and the frog. She's back in the gym and takes up the count again, but has a worried look on her face. Cut back to the lab. Catherine: Oh, it's... it's working! Giles takes the book up from the table and reads. Giles: Unlock the gate. Let the darkness shine. Cover us with holy fear. Catherine staggers back and covers her face. Giles: Show me... The lights go out in the classroom. Cut to the gym. Some of the cheerleaders are lifting Amy. Once up, she thrusts her fists into the air and gives the crowd a big smile. Her smile fades as she has another flash to the lab, where she gets a glimpse of Buffy. She comes back to the gym and begins to lose her balance. Xander and Willow watch. The cheerleaders supporting Amy struggle for control, but they collapse. The crowd reacts to the fall. Xander and Willow see everything, too. Cut back to Amy. Joy: Amy, what's your problem? Amy shoots her a dirty look. Joy is taken aback. Amy gets up, looks around and runs from the gym. Cut to the lab. Catherine: She's coming! Giles looks worried. Cut to the halls. Amy violently pushes open a door. Willow stops her. Willow: Amy! Amy: Get out of my way! Willow: W-wait! I-I-I need to talk to you, I-I can help you. Amy: Help me? With what? Willow: Uh, well, y'know, all your witchcraft! I, I know this really good cauldron. Xander sneaks up behind Amy. Willow: Do you actually ride a broom? Amy twists around, growls and holds out her hand like she's grabbing Xander's neck. His hand goes to his throat. Amy makes a fist and twists it. Xander collapses to the floor, choking. Willow: Xander! Amy spins back around and punches Willow hard in the face, knocking her to the floor. She starts running to the lab. Cut to the lab. Giles is holding up his arms and chanting. Giles: Corsheth and Gilail! The gate is closed! Receive the dark! Release the unworthy! Take of mine energy and be sated! He plunges his hands into the mixture he's concocted. Cut to the halls. Amy slams through another door and continues walking to the lab with a determined look on her face. She tries the door, but it's locked. She yanks at it. Cut inside. Giles takes his hands out of the brew. Catherine looks at the door and sees it's being yanked on. Giles: Be sated! Release the unworthy! Cut back to the hall. Amy stops yanking at the door and finds a fire axe in a glass case. She breaks the glass with her fist and takes out the axe. Cut inside to Buffy. She can't keep her eyes open and is just rolling her head slowly. Giles: Release! Amy begins to chop down the door. Giles: Release! Buffy lies prone. Amy has made a hole, reaches through and gets the door open. She marches in, axe in hand, straight over to Buffy. Giles: RELEEEEASE! Amy starts to wield the axe, but stops when there's a flash of light and the spells are all broken. She is herself again. She looks around, a bit confused, steps back and lowers the axe. Buffy has her strength back and gets up from the table. Giles sees that she is okay. Amy: Buffy? Buffy: Amy? Catherine lunges at Buffy from the side and tackles her to the floor, knocking her out. Giles advances, holding his arm out and pointing. Giles: You... you... Catherine growls and looks at him. She uses her powers to force him back and push a table against him, knocking him down and out. Amy just stands there watching, still holding the axe in both hands. Catherine gets up and confronts her. Catherine: You! You little brat! Amy: (holds the axe threateningly) Mom! Please! Catherine holds out her hand, and the axe flies from Amy's hands to hers. Catherine: How dare you raise your hand to your mother! I gave you birth. I gave up my life so you could drag that worthless carcass around and call it living? (swings the axe into a lab table) You've never been anything but trouble. I'm going to put you where you can't make trouble again! Buffy: (jumps up behind Catherine) Guess what? Catherine turns to face her. Buffy: I feel better! She punches Catherine, and she flies through the air, lands on a lab table and rolls off, hitting a shelf full of bottles along the way. She quickly gets up. Catherine: That body was mine! Mine! Buffy: Oh, grow up! Catherine growls, holds her arm out toward Buffy and uses her powers to send her flying against the wall. Buffy hits the wall and falls to the floor. She gets up, craning her neck. Catherine begins to cast a spell. Catherine: I shall look upon my enemy! She looks up at Buffy, and her eyes have become pitch black. Catherine: I shall look upon her and the dark place will have her soul! Buffy looks around for a way to stop her. She sees the pole holding up the mirror above her. Catherine: Corsheth, take her! Buffy does a standing hook kick, knocking the pole out from under the mirror and letting it flop down. Catherine's spell leaps from her hands and is reflected by the mirror back at her. The power of the spell envelops her as she screams. The energy twists around her and disappears with a roar, taking her with it. Buffy surveys the scene. Amy is badly shaken. Buffy sees Giles unconscious on the floor. He wakes up. Giles: Well, that was, um, interesting. Buffy gives him her hand and helps him up. Buffy: You guys okay? Amy: I'm fine! Giles: I assume the, uh, all the spells are reversed. It was my first casting, so... (inhales) I may have got it wrong. Buffy: You saved my life! You were a god! Amy: Well, I didn't think you'd pull it off. Suddenly Xander comes rushing in and grabs Amy tightly. Xander: I got her! I got her! Cut her head off! Buffy: Xander, what are you doing? Xander: Saving you? Buffy: Get your hands off of her. Xander: But she's evil. Giles: It wasn't exactly her. Amy: I was my mom. Xander: Oh! (releases her) Now Willow comes running in, too, wielding a bat. Willow: Where is she?! Xander: Uh, hey Willow! It's cool! Willow: It is? Xander: Yeah, I took care of it. They all just look at each other. Cut to Buffy's room. She scoops her smashed alarm clock into a wastebasket. Her mother comes in. Joyce: I don't get it. Buffy: What? Joyce: I've been doing a lot of thinking about... where you're coming from, how to relate to you... and I've come to a very simple conclusion: I don't get it. Buffy: I'm inscrutable, huh? Joyce: You're sixteen. I think there's a, a biological imperative whereby I can't understand you because I'm not sixteen. Buffy: Do you ever wish you could be sixteen again? Joyce: Oh, that's a frightful notion. (exhales) Go through all that again? Not even if it helped me understand you. She smiles at her daughter, and Buffy smiles back. Buffy: I love you, mom. She jumps up and kisses her mom on the cheek, then runs from the room. Joyce: I don't get it! Cut to the school halls. Buffy and Amy are walking together. Amy: My dad is *so* impossible! He doesn't ever want me going anywhere! He wants to spend total quantity time together. And I'm, like, 'Dad, I can go out, it's perfectly safe!' But he's got all this guilt about leaving me with my mom. And he's being a total pain. Buffy: You're loving it. Amy: Every single minute. Cut to another part of the hall. Amy: This Saturday night he wants to stay in and make brownies. Well, the brownies were my idea. Cordelia: (comes up behind them) Hey, I'm really sorry you guys got bumped back to alternate. (reconsiders) Hold it, wait... No I'm not! Amy: Well, I know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling out words with my arms. Cordelia: Ooo, these grapes are sour! Buffy and Amy stop at the trophy case while Cordelia continues on. Amy: (to Buffy) Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you wanted to be on the squad. Buffy: Oh, hey, that's okay. Cheerleading's just a little too hairy for me these days. Amy: (takes a breath) That's for sure. They go around to the front of the case and look at Catherine's picture. Amy: Catherine the Great. Buffy: And there's been no sign of her? Amy: That last spell... She said I'd never make trouble again. Wherever she is I don't think we'll have to worry. They both look at Catherine's cheerleading trophy. Buffy: Twisted. They turn and go. Amy: I'm just happy to have my body back. I'm thinking of getting fat. Buffy: Y'know, I hear that look's in for spring. The camera closes in on the cheerleading trophy. Catherine's eyes are looking out and she's making muffled noises.

episode three - summary

2004-11-23T13:45:00.000-08:00

Episode 3 "The Witch" Summary
Buffy, in an attempt to bring some normalcy into her complicated life, decides to try out for cheerleader. When she goes to the big tryout, she meets a quiet girl named Amy. As one girl auditions, she gets more and more into her routine, and suddenly her hands begin to smoke. Buffy knocks her to the ground and puts the girl's smoking hands out. Amy tells Buffy that her mother was a cheerleading star and she feels pressure to make the squad. When Amy leaves, Willow says it's a lot more than pressure -- she thinks Amy's mom is a tyrant. Neither Amy nor Buffy is chosen as part of the regular squad -- both are alternates. Amy is distraught when she is only chosen to be third alternate -- with Buffy as first alternate.
In a spooky attic with a cauldron, someone is casting spells with dolls. The next day, snooty Cordelia Chase, who has made cheerleader, is temporarily blinded while taking her driving test. Giles thinks Amy's a witch, but the only way to prove it is to form a potion and pour it on her -- if her skin turns blue, she is a witch. Buffy, Xander and Willow join forces to test this theory in chemistry class, and Giles is proven correct. Then another cheerleader has a mysterious accident, and when Amy reacts to it with horror, it makes Buffy doubt whether Amy realizes what she's doing. Amy comes home in a huff to find her mother on the couch watching TV. She tells her mother to write her history report. We see that Amy is holding an ID bracelet which Xander gave Buffy for good luck at the cheerleading tryouts -- Buffy will be Amy's next victim.
As first alternate, Buffy is now on the cheerleading squad, and starts acting strangely during practice. When she tosses another cheerleader across the room, it's time for the next alternate to come in -- Amy. Buffy suddenly becomes weak, and Giles says the only way to keep her from dying is to get Amy's spell book. Willow and Xander stay at school to keep an eye on Amy. Giles and Buffy force their way into Amy's house, and Buffy discovers that the woman they're speaking to is not really Amy's mother but Amy herself. The mother switched their bodies so she could relive her glory days as a cheerleader. Giles finds the spell book, and they all troop off to school, where "Amy" is getting ready to cheer. As Giles chants, "Amy" becomes weaker as the transformation begins. "Amy" charges out of the gym to find Buffy and kill her. Just as she’s about to get her, the transformation is complete. "Amy" is now the real Amy, and the mother goes berserk. She starts to cast an evil spell on Buffy, but Buffy deflects it with a mirror and sends it back to the mother, who disappears. Everything seems to be back to normal, until we catch a glimpse of the mother's cheerleader trophy in a school display case. Its eyes are moving...

episode two - written by and air dates

2004-11-23T13:42:00.000-08:00

Written By: Joss WhedonDirected By: John KretchmerProduction Code: 4V02The Harvest:

Ep1.2 Trailer (1.43 MB) Ep1.2 Images
Air Dates:
USA, WB
Monday, 10 March 1997
Aust, 7
Thursday, 04 December 1997
Can, WB
Monday, 10 March 1997
Ger, Pro7
Friday, 09 October 1998
It, Italia 1
Monday, 12 June 2000
NZ, Tv3
Monday, 07 July 1997
Fr, Serie
Fri-03-Apr-1998

Episode two - stats

2004-11-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

Vampires Slain:
6
Demons Slain:
0
Human Deaths:
3
Total:
9
>> General Statistics

Sex Scenes
None
Kisses
None
Hugging
1
Tears
None
Vampire Kills
5
Deaths
7
Tear Jerkers
None
Swearing
1
Arguing
3
Eat/Drink
5
Listen To Music
2
Songs
4
Have Conversations
64
Break Something
3
Hurting
30
Laughing
1
Advice Given
1
Screams
5
Spells
1
Sleeping
1
Telephone Use
None
Watching Television
None
Biting
3
Studying
3
Buffy Gets Harmed
13
Scenes In A Car
None
Jewelry Worn
None
>> Character Statistics

Buffy Gives Attitude
31
Willow Does A Spell/Goes Online
4
Xander Is Witty
19
Giles Cleans/Takes Off His Glasses/Puts Them Back On
2

Episode two - script

2004-11-23T13:40:00.000-08:00

The Harvest
Written by: Joss WhedonDirected by: John KretchmerTranscribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~ I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "The Harvest". It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I felt they were needed. I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please let me know and I will post an update. rev 99.06.23This episode was originally broadcast on March 10, 1997. ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Inside the mausoleum. Luke tries to bite Buffy, but burns himself on the cross hanging around her neck and jerks back. Buffy seizes the opportunity and push kicks him out of the coffin. She climbs out of it and races outside. Cut outside. Buffy runs to catch up with Willow, Xander and Jesse. She hears a vampire roar and a girl screaming and runs toward the sounds. Cut to Willow on the ground, about to be bitten. Willow: No! Get off! Buffy: Hey! The vampire looks up, and Buffy snap kicks him off of Willow. He gets up and runs away. Willow is shocked by what she sees. Buffy quickly starts the hunt again. Willow gets up and runs after her. Cut to Xander being dragged away by two vampires. Willow appears between two gravestones. Willow: Xander! The vampires are distracted. Buffy takes advantage of the opening and jumps in, high punches one and side kicks the other. She notices a dry branch on a tree and breaks it off. As one of the vampires gets up she plunges the stick into him. Willow rushes over to Xander who's still on the ground. Willow: Xander, are you okay? Xander: Man, something hit me. Buffy: Where's Jesse? Willow: I don't know! They surrounded us. Xander: That girl grabbed him and took off. Buffy: Which way? Xander: I don't know. She stands up straight and slowly scans the cemetery. Buffy: (whispers) Jesse! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. The globe up on the stack level is spinning. Giles stops it while he lectures and makes his way down to where Buffy, Willow and Xander are at the study table. Giles: This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures... Buffy: And vampires. Xander: Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it. Willow: Isn't that what we saw last night? Buffy: No. No, th-those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light. (Xander gives her a look) That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part. Willow: Oh, I, I need to sit down. Buffy: You are sitting down. Willow: Oh. Good for me. Xander: So vampires are demons? Giles: The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the old ones to return. Cut to the sewers. Darla and Luke are forcing Jesse into the Master's lair. Luke: Move! They reach the lair, which is actually what remains of a church, and Luke forces Jesse down the slope to the floor below. The Master approaches. Master: Is this for me? Luke: An offering, Master. Darla: He's a good one! His blood is pure! Master: (draws the obvious conclusion) You've tasted it. Darla looks down in shame. Master: I'm your... faithful dog. You bring me scraps. Darla: I, I didn't mean it... Master: I have waited. For three score years I have waited. While you come and go I am stuck here, here in this house of... (with extreme contempt) worship! My ascension is almost at hand. Pray that when it comes... (takes Darla by the neck) I'm in a better mood. Darla: Master, forgive me! We had more offerings, but there was trouble. A girl! Luke: And there was a girl. She fought well and she knew of our breed. It is possible that she may be... Master: ...a Slayer! Cut to the library. Xander: And that would be a what? Giles: For as long as there have been vampires, there's been the Slayer. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. Buffy: He loves doing this part. Giles: Alright. The Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need. Xander: Except for one thing: how do you kill them? Buffy: *You* don't, *I* do. Xander: Well, Jesse's my... Buffy: (interrupts) Jesse is *my* responsibility. I let him get taken. Xander: That's not true. Willow: If you hadn't shown up they would have taken us, too. Does anybody mind if I pass out? Buffy: Breathe. Willow: Breathe. Buffy: Breathe. (to Giles) This big guy, Luke. He talked about an offering to the Master. Now, I don't know what or who, but if they weren't just feeding then Jesse may still be alive. I'm gonna find him. Willow: Uh, this may be the dumb question, but shouldn't we call the police? Giles: And they'd believe us, of course. Willow: Well, we don't have to say vampires. We, we could just say that there's a, a bad man. Buffy: They couldn't handle it even of they did show up. They'd only come with guns. Giles: You have no idea where they took Jesse? Buffy: I looked around, but soon's they got clear of the graveyard, they could have just, voom! Xander: They can fly? Buffy: They can drive. Xander: Oh. Willow: I don't remember hearing a car. Giles: Let's take an enormous intuitive leap, shall we, and say they went underground. Buffy: Vampires really jam on sewer systems. You can get anywhere in the entire town without catching any rays. But I didn't see any access around there. Xander: Well, there's an electrical tunnel that runs under the whole town. Giles: If we had a diagnostic of the tunnel system it might indicate a, a meeting place, it would, uh... I suppose we could go to the building commission. Buffy: We *so* don't have time. Willow: Uh, guys? There may be another way. Cut to the Master's lair. Master: A Slayer! Have you any proof? Luke: Only that she fought me, and yet lives. Master: Hmm, very nearly proof enough. I can't remember the last time that happened. Luke: 1843. Madrid. He caught me sleeping. Master: She mustn't be allowed to interfere with the Harvest! Luke: I would never let that happen! Master: Don't worry about it. I believe she'll come to us. We have something she wants. Luke smiles at Jesse. Master: If she is a Slayer, and this boy lives, she'll try to save him. Luke: I thought you nothing more than a meal, boy. He moves behind Jesse and takes his neck. Luke: Congratulations. You've just been upgraded. To bait. Cut to the library. Willow has the city plans on the computer monitor. Buffy: There it is. Willow: That runs under the graveyard. Xander: I don't see any access. Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public? Willow: Um, well, i-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system. Xander: Someone's been naughty. Buffy: There's nothing here, this is useless! Giles: I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. Buffy: You're the one that told me that I wasn't prepared enough. Understatement! (exhales) I thought I was on top of everything, and then that monster, Luke, came out of nowhere... She flashes back to the fight in the mausoleum. Xander: What? Buffy: He didn't come out of nowhere. He came from behind me. I was facing the entrance, he came from behind me, and he didn't follow me out. The access to the tunnels is in the mausoleum! The girl must have doubled back with Jesse after I got out! God! I am so mentally challenged! Xander: So, what's the plan? We saddle up, right? Buffy: There's no 'we', okay? I'm the Slayer, and you're not. Xander: I knew you'd throw that back in my face. Buffy: Xander, this is deeply dangerous. Xander: I'm inadequate. That's fine. I'm less than a man. Willow: Buffy, I'm not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters. But I do want to help. I need to. Giles: Well, then help me. I've been researching this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre. Rivers of blood, Hell on Earth, quite charmless. I'm a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. It may be that you can wrest some information from that dread machine. Everyone stares at him. He looks back at them all. Giles: That was a bit, um, British, wasn't it? Buffy: (smiles) Welcome to the New World. Giles: (to Willow) I want you to go on the 'Net. Willow: Oh, sure, I can do that. (begins to type) Buffy: Then I'm outta here. If Jesse's alive, I'll bring him back. (starts to leave) Giles: Do I have to tell you to be careful? Buffy turns back, gives Giles a look and goes. Cut outside. Buffy is making strides for a side gate. Mr. Flutie is there and stops her. Mr. Flutie: And where do we think we're going? Buffy: We? (turns to face him) I... Me... Mr. Flutie: We're not leaving school grounds, are we? Buffy: No! No, I'm... just admiring the fence. You know, this is quality fence work. Mr. Flutie: Because if we were leaving schools grounds on our second day at a new school, after getting kicked out of our old school for delinquent behavior... Do you see where I'm going with this? Buffy: Mr. Giles... Mr. Flutie: What? Buffy: He asked me to get a book for him. Uh, from the store, 'cause I have a free period, and I'm a big reader. Did it mention that in my transcripts? Mr. Flutie: Mr. Giles? Buffy: Ask him. Mr. Flutie: (swings the gate closed) Well, maybe that's how they do things in *Britain*, they've got that royal family and all kinds of problems, (locks it) but here at Sunnydale nobody leaves campus while school's in session. Are we clear? Buffy: We're clear. Mr. Flutie: That's the Buffy Summers I want in my school. Sensible girl with her feet on the ground! He turns and leaves. Buffy watches him go. When he's gone a ways she crouches and leaps the fence. Cut to Willow and Xander walking down a hall. Willow: Murder, death, disaster. What else? Xander: Paranormal, unexplained, did you get natural disasters? Willow: Earthquake, flood. Xander: Rain of Toads. Willow: Right. Xander: Rain of Toads! Do you think they'd have anything like that in the paper? Willow: I'll put it on the computer search. If it's in there, it'll turn up. Anything that'll lead us to vampires. Xander: And I, in the meantime, will help by standing around like an idiot. Willow: Not like an idiot, just... standing. Buffy doesn't want you getting hurt. They stop in front of their next class. Willow: I don't want you getting hurt. Xander: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz.' Today it's 'Rain of Toads'. Willow: I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day. Xander: Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret. Willow: We do. That's what a secret is, when you know something other guys don't. Xander: Right. Look, maybe you should get to class. (indicates the door) Willow: You mean 'we'. We should get to class. Xander: Yeah. Willow: Buffy'll be okay. Whatever's down there, I think she can handle it. Xander: Yeah, I do, too. Willow: So do I! Cut to inside the mausoleum. Buffy comes in slowly, looking and listening. She scans around. Satisfied that no one's there, she walks down the steps to the floor. She hears a rat behind her and twists to look toward the sound. She continues and finds the tunnel access. It's locked with a chain. She lifts the lock. Angel appears behind her. Angel: (exhales) Buffy: I don't suppose you've got a key on you? Angel: They really don't like me dropping in. Buffy: (faces him) Why not? Angel: They really don't like me. Buffy: How could that possibly be? Angel: I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a *little* sooner. Buffy: Sorry you had to wait. (exhales) Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this Cryptic Wise Man act on a regular basis, can you at least tell me your name? Angel: Angel. Buffy: Angel. It's a pretty name. She turns to the tunnel entrance. Angel: Don't... go down there. Buffy: (turns back) Deal with my going. Angel: You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk. Tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks. Buffy: Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suckfest, why don't *you* stop it? Angel: 'Cause I'm afraid. She looks at him for a moment and then spins around quickly, kicking open the doors to the tunnel. She turns back to him. Angel: They'll be expecting you. Buffy: I've got a friend down there. Or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend? He lowers his eyes as a look of sadness fills them. Buffy: That wasn't supposed to be a stumper. They look at each other a moment longer. Angel: When you hit the tunnels head east towards the school. That's where you're likely to find them. Buffy: You gonna wish me luck? Angel says nothing. They look at each other for another moment, then Buffy turns and heads into the tunnels. He watches her go. Angel: (whispers) Good luck! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside the tunnels. Buffy comes down a flight of stairs. She looks around. She hears rats. One crawls across her shoes. She slowly starts down the tunnels. There are lights at regular intervals. When she reaches an intersection, Xander surprises her from behind. Xander: Did you see anything? Buffy: (exhales in fright) Xander, what are you doing here?! Xander: Something stupid. I followed you. Buffy: Well, you... Xander: (interrupts) I couldn't just sit at home and do nothing. Buffy: I understand. Now, go away! Xander: No! Buffy: Xander, you're gonna have to. Xander: Look, Jesse's my bud, okay? If I can help him out, that's what I gotta do. Buffy considers, then nods her head for him to follow. She starts down the tunnel again. Xander: Besides, it's this or chem class. Cut to them reaching the top of some stairs. Xander: Okay, so, crosses, garlic, stake through the heart. Buffy: That'll get it done. Xander: Cool! Of course, I don't actually have any of those things. Buffy: (hands him a cross) Good thinking. Xander: Well, the part of my brain that would tell me to bring that stuff is still busy telling me not to come down here. I have this, though. (turns on a flashlight) Buffy: Turn that off! Xander: (turns it off) Okay! Okay! So, what else? Buffy: What else what? Xander: For vampire slayage. Buffy: Oh, fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, the usual. Xander: You've done some beheading in your time? Buffy: Oh, yeah. There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity... Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire... Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exact-O knife... Xander laughs nervously. Buffy: You're not loving this story. Xander: No, actually, I find it oddly comforting. Cut to the library. Giles is reading from a volume. Giles: 'For they will gather and be gathered. From the Vessel pours life.' P... Pours life... He turns the page back to the picture of Satan feeding power to a man. Giles: 'On the night of the crescent moon, the first past the solstice it will come...' Of course. That's tonight! Cut to the computer lab. Cordelia is struggling with her computer programming assignment. Cordelia: No! It's supposed to find the syntax and match it. Or wait... Harmony: Are we going to the Bronze tonight? Cordelia: No, we're going to the other cool place in Sunnydale. Harmony looks confused. Cordelia: Of course we're going to the Bronze. Friday night? No cover? But you should have been there last night. 'Cause I ran into Buffy... Willow overhears the conversation. Cordelia: ...and can she be any weirder? She attacked me! Do you believe it? Harmony: (exhales) I think we did this part wrong. Cordelia: Why do we have to devise these programs, isn't that what nerds are for? (whispers, indicating Willow) What'd she do? Harmony looks at Willow's screen. She's surfing a newspaper archive website. Harmony: (to Cordelia) Uh, she's doing something else. Cordelia: Okay, and then pattern run, right? Or go to end? That's it! Harmony: Maybe! Cordelia: So anyway, I come outta the bathroom, and she comes running at me. Screaming! With a stick! 'I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you!' I swear! Boy: Who? Cordelia: Buffy! Harmony: The new girl? Boy: What's her deal? Cordelia: Well, she's crazed. Harmony: Did you hear about her old school? Cordelia and the boy both shake their heads. Harmony: Booted. Cordelia: Well, I exhibit no surprise. Boy: Why was she kicked out? Cordelia: Uh, because she's a psycho loony! Willow: (interjects) No, she's not. Cordelia: What? Willow: (turns to them) She's not a psycho. You don't even know her. Cordelia: Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist? Willow turns away, eyes down. Cordelia: Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring. Willow gets up and goes to get her printouts. Harmony: Okay, I think the program's done. Cordelia: Finally the nightmare ends! Okay, so how do we save it? Willow: Deliver. Cordelia: Deliver? Where's that? (searches the keyboard) Oh! She hits the "Del" key, and her program disappears. She stares at the screen in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror. Cut to the tunnels. Buffy: They're close. Xander: How can you tell? Buffy: No more rats. Xander turns on his flashlight and spots Jesse on the ground. Xander: Jesse! Buffy: Oh, no! Jesse reacts and jumps up. Xander: J-J-Jesse! Jesse: Xander! The two boys embrace. Xander: Jesse, man, are you okay? Jesse: I am not okay, on an *epic* scale. Buffy shines the light on the shackles around Jesse's ankle. Jesse: We gotta get outta here! Xander: It's cool, Buffy's a superhero. Buffy: Hold on... (breaks the shackles) Xander: Do you think anyone heard that? They see shadows moving on the walls and start to run down the tunnel. Vampires come around the corner. Cut to Xander, Buffy and Jesse in another part of the tunnel. Jesse: They knew you were gonna come. They said that I... I was the bait. Xander: Oh, great, now you tell us. They round a corner and are met by vampires. Buffy: Oops! Jesse: Oh, no, no, no, no! Buffy: Do you know another way out? Jesse: I dunno. Maybe. C'mon! They run. At another intersection they see glowing eyes to their right. Jesse: Wait, wait. They brought me through here, there, there should be a way up. I hope! Jesse leads them into a chamber. Buffy: I don't think this is the way out! Xander: We can't fight our way back through those things. What do we do? Jesse: I got an idea. (vamps out) You can die! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the chamber. Xander: Jesse, man. I'm sorry. Jesse: Sorry? I feel good, Xander! I feel strong! I'm connected, man, to everything! Buffy begins struggling with the door, trying to close it. Jesse: I, I can hear the worms in the earth! Xander: That's a plus. Jesse: I know what the Master wants. I'll serve his purpose. That means you die. And I feed. Buffy: (looks back at them) Xander, the cross! He holds the cross up to Jesse's face. Jesse steps back and growls. Xander: Jesse, man. We're buds, don't you remember? Jesse: You're like a shadow to me now. Xander: Then get outta my face. Jesse knocks Xander's arm to the side, making him hit the wall. He jumps to the other side of the room, facing Xander. Buffy grabs him from behind and throws him out of the chamber into the advancing vampires, knocking them all down, and goes back to trying to close the door. Buffy: (to Xander) Help me! Xander jumps up to help, and together they get it to move. They close it on a vampire's arm. The vampire pulls its arm back out of the door, and Buffy slams it shut and closes the latch. The vampires begin pounding on the door. Buffy: We need to get out of here! Xander: There is no out of here! He uses his flashlight to look around and spots a grate in the ceiling. Xander: Up there! Buffy leaps on top of a barrel and begins to pry the grate open. The vampires have started to bend in a corner of the door. They twist it and push it in further. Buffy gets the grate open. Buffy: Go! She helps Xander crawl up into a ventilation duct. A vampire starts to struggle through the bent corner of the door. He reaches in and pulls the latch open as Xander gets through the grate. Buffy follows him quickly as the first vampire enters the chamber. He follows them through the grate into the duct. Xander and Buffy crawl like mad. He finds a ladder up to a manhole and starts climbing the rungs. Buffy follows. The vampire is right behind them. Xander pushes open the manhole cover and climbs out into daylight. He turns to help Buffy out. The vampire grabs her ankle and tries to pull her back down. Buffy: Xander, pull! He pulls on her, and the vampire's hand is exposed to the sunlight and burns. The vampire lets go, and they tumble backward to the ground. Cut to the Master's lair. Master: She escaped? She walks free when I should be drinking her heart's blood right now? Careless... Colin: Master, we had her trapped! Master: Oh, are you going to make excuses? Colin remains silent. Master: You are all weak. It has been too long since you have faced the Slayer. Huh. It is no matter to me. She will not stop the Harvest. Just means there'll be someone worth killing... when I reach the surface. Is Luke ready? Colin: He waits. Master: It's time. Bring him to me. Colin turns to go get Luke. Master: Ah, Colin... (Colin turns back) You failed me. Tell me you're sorry. Colin: I'm sorry! Master: There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Hold on... He stabs his finger into Colin's face. Master: You've got something in your eye. Cut to the library where Giles is still doing his research. He hears someone come in. Giles: Buffy? Willow: It's just me. So there's no word? Giles: Ah, not as yet, no. Willow: Well, I-I'm sure they're... great. Giles: Did you find anything of interest? Willow: I think, maybe... I surfed through the old newspapers around the time of that big earthquake back in '37? And for several months before there were a rash of murders. (hands him her printouts) Giles: Great! I-I mean, well, not, not 'great' in a good way, uh, um, uh, go on? Willow: Well, they sound like the kind you were looking for. (flips through the pages) Throats, blood... (looks squeamish) Giles: It's all coming together. I rather wish it weren't. Cut to the Master's lair. Luke approaches the Master and kneels before him. The Master offers his hand. Luke takes it and kisses it. He releases it and the Master turns it over to offer the underside of his wrist. Darla is watching and smiles. Luke opens the cuff of the Master's sleeve and pulls it back. He takes his hand again, sinks his fangs into the wrist above it and drinks of the blood. He releases the hand, and the Master takes it back. Master: My blood is your blood. My soul is your soul. Luke: My body is your instrument. The Master steps down to Luke and begins to draw a three-pointed star on Luke's forehead with the blood still flowing from his wrist. Master: On this... most hallowed night... we are as one. Luke is the Vessel! Darla's smile widens. Master: Every soul he takes will feed me. And their souls will grant me the strength to free myself. Tonight I shall walk the Earth, and the stars themselves will hide! Cut to the library. Willow is looking at one of Giles' volumes. She hears the door open and looks up to see Xander and Buffy come in. Willow: Did you find Jesse? Xander: Yeah. Willow: Was he dead? Buffy: Worse. (sits at the end of the table) I'm sorry, Willow. We were too late. And they were waiting for us. Willow: At least you two are okay. Xander violently kicks a waste basket. Buffy is startled. Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good. Buffy: (turns to Giles) So, Giles! Got anything that can make this day any worse? He goes over to the whiteboard and puts down his pen. Giles: How about the end of the world? Buffy: Knew I could count on you. Giles: This is what we know. Some sixty years ago, a very old, very powerful vampire came to this shore, not just to feed. Buffy: He came 'cause this town's a mystical who's it. Giles: Yes. The Spanish who first settled here called it 'Boca del Infierno'. Roughly translated, 'Hellmouth'. It's a sort of, um, portal between this reality and the next. This vampire hopes to open it. Buffy: Bring the demons back. Xander: End of the world. Willow: But he blew it! Or, I mean, there was an earthquake that swallowed half the town, and him, too. Giles: You see, opening dimensional portals is a tricky business. Odds are he got himself stuck, rather like a, uh, cork in a bottle. Xander: And this Harvest thing is to get him out. Giles: It comes once in a century, on this night. The Master can draw power from one of his minions while it feeds. Enough power to break free and open the portal. The minion is called the Vessel, and he bears this symbol. He draws a three-pointed star on the whiteboard. Buffy: So, I dust anyone sporting that symbol, and no Harvest. Giles: Simply put, yes. Buffy: Any idea where this little get-together is being held? Giles: There, there are a number of possibilities. Xander: They're goin' to the Bronze. Willow: Are you sure? Xander: Come on. All those tasty young morsels all over the place? Anyway, that's where Jesse's gonna be, trust me. Giles grabs his coat and starts out of the library. The others begin to follow. Giles: Then we should get there. The sun will be down before long. Buffy: I gotta make a stop. Won't take long. Giles: What for? Buffy: Supplies. Cut to a view of the sun setting above a ridge. Cut to Buffy in her room. She goes to her closet and pulls out a heavy, black jacket. Her mother walks into the room. Joyce: Buffy? Buffy: Mom! Joyce: You're going out? Buffy: I have to. (puts on her jacket) Joyce: I didn't hear you come in last night. Buffy: I was really quiet. Joyce: It's happening again, isn't it? I got a call from your new principal. Says you missed some classes today? Buffy: I was running an errand. Joyce: We haven't finished unpacking, and I'm getting calls from the principal. Buffy: Mom, I promise, it is *not* gonna be like before. But I *have* to go. Joyce: No. Buffy: Mom?! Joyce: The tapes all say I should get used to saying it. No. Buffy: This is really, really important. Joyce: I know. If you don't go out it'll be the end of the world. Everything is life or death when you're a sixteen-year-old girl. Buffy: Look, I don't have time to talk about this... Joyce: Buffy, you've got all the time in the world, you're not going anywhere. Now, if you wanna stay up here and sulk, I won't hold it against you. But if you wanna come down, I'll make us some dinner. She leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind her. Buffy can't believe what just happened. She leans against the closet door, takes a deep breath and exhales. Then she turns and opens the closet again and pulls out a large chest. It has a flat box in it full of her stuff. She lifts out the box to reveal what's underneath. Stakes, crosses, garlic, bottles of holy water. She pulls a bunch out and puts it in her sports bag. She takes a particularly sharp stake and conceals it in her jacket sleeve. She closes the chest, zips the bag closed and goes over to her door to make sure her mother isn't nearby. Then she grabs the bag, slides it out of the window onto the roof and climbs out after it. Cut to the sun going down over a hill. Cut to the Bronze. The doorman is checking ID's. Cut inside to the upper level. Cordelia and her friends find a table. Cordelia: Senior boys are the only way to go. Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? (they sit) Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog. (they all giggle) You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, hmm, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars! I just am not the type to settle. Y'know? It's like when I go shopping. I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more. Girl: You know, I... Cordelia: Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished? Oh, I love this song! Come on! Cordelia and her gang make their way to the dance floor and start to move to the sound of "Wearing Me Down" by the Dashboard Prophets. Lyrics: You fight the good fight / You fight the good war / You fight to be right / You fight to restore / Why should I believe a word that you say / It was just a game that you don't wanna play / And I say / It's wearing me down, I realize / It's all in my head now, now, and I realize / It's not what you've done / As much as what you've said / As what you've said / As what you've said / As what you've said Jesse watches Cordelia from the side. He walks onto the dance floor. The song is over, and Cordelia stops dancing. She starts to leave, but Jesse is standing in front of her, fingers on his lips. Cordelia: Uh, what do you want? Another song, "Ballad For Dead Friends", starts. Jesse lowers his hand, takes hers and leads her back onto the dance floor. Cordelia: Hey! Hello! Caveman brain! What are you doing? Jesse: Shut up! He begins to dance with her. Cordelia: Well, just one dance. They dance close. Cut to outside where the doorman is counting money. Darla comes out of the shadows in a bouncy walk. She turns around and walks backward while other vampires come into the light behind her. She turns back again and approaches the doorman. They're all sporting their game faces. Lyrics: How are you feelin'? / Do you feel okay? / 'Cause I don't! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside the Bronze. The vampires head in. Doorman: Need ID. (looks up) Hey! Nobody gets inside until I get some sorta... Luke: (growls in the doorman's face) Get inside. Cut inside. The vampires come in, pushing the doorman in with them. The last one shuts the door and stands guard. Lyrics: How are you feelin'? / Do you feel okay? / 'Cause I don't! One of the vampires makes his way to the upper level. Another one finds the main power switch and shuts it off. The people start complaining and wondering what happened. Luke gets up on the stage. Luke: Ladies and Gentlemen! There is no cause for alarm. Actually, there is cause for alarm. It just won't do any good. There are screams from the crowd as they see Luke's face. He laughs. Cordelia: I thought there wasn't any band tonight. She looks at Jesse next to her. He's got his game face on, and she inhales in fright. Luke: This is a glorious night! It is also the last one any of you shall ever see. Bring me the first. A vampire brings the doorman to Luke. Doorman: What do you guys want, man, huh? You want money? Man, what's wrong with your faces? Luke grabs him by the throat. He wraps his other arm around the doorman's head. Luke: Watch me, people. Fear is like an elixir. It's almost like blood. He bites the doorman and feeds on him. The doorman screams. Cut to the Master in his lair. He raises his head as he feels the first of the souls that will be taken for him. Cut to Luke. He drops the doorman's body. Luke: Next! Cut outside. The team arrives running. Buffy tries the door. Buffy: It's locked! Giles: We're too late! Buffy: I didn't know I was gonna get grounded! Xander: Can you break it down? Buffy: No, not that thing. Um... You guys try the back entrance, and I'll find my own way. Giles: Right. Come on. Buffy: Uh, wait! Guys! Here! (hands Willow her bag) You get the exit cleared and the people out. That's all! Don't go Wild Bunch on me. Giles: Uh, see you inside, then. Giles, Xander and Willow run around to the back. Cut to the back. Willow tries the door. It's locked, too. Willow: No joy! Xander: We've gotta get in there before Jesse does something stupider that usual. Giles: You listen to me! Jesse is dead! You have to remember that when you see him, you're not looking at your friend. You're looking at the thing that killed him. Cut to the Master, testing his confines. Cut to Luke, feeding on a girl. Cut to the Master. Master: Almost free! Cut to Luke, still feeding on the girl. Cut to the Master. Master: Give me moooooore! Cut to Luke. He's finished with the girl and drops her body. Cut to Darla and Jesse. She wants to take Cordelia to Luke. Jesse: This one's mine! Darla: They're all for the Master. She pulls on Cordelia. Jesse lets go of her. Jesse: I don't get one? Cut to Buffy breaking an upper window and crawling in. Luke: I feel the Master's strength growing! Buffy sees Luke on the stage. Luke: I feel him rising. Every soul brings him closer! I need another! Buffy: (to herself) The Vessel. The vampire on the upper level sees Buffy and growls. She looks over at him. Luke: Tonight is his ascension. Tonight will be history at its end! Yours is a glorious sacrifice! Degradation most holy. (no one in the crowd stirs) What? No volunteers?! Darla: (brings him Cordelia) Here's a pretty one. Cordelia screams when she sees Luke up close. He caresses her face. He's about to bite her when Buffy kicks the vampire down from above them. Luke watches him land with a thud. Buffy approaches the railing. Buffy: Oh, I'm sorry, were you in the middle of something? Luke: You! Buffy: You didn't think I'd miss this. Did you? Luke: I hoped you'd come. Buffy: Be right down! She steps away from the railing and executes a roundoff to get down. She lands on a pool table. A vampire attacks from her right. Buffy does a front walkover off of the table, grabbing a pool cue on the way. When she lands she thrusts it into her attacker and lets go. He begins to fall and burst into ashes. Buffy: Okay, Vessel boy. (removes her jacket) You want blood? Luke: I want yours! (releases Cordelia) Only yours! Buffy: (shrugs) Works for me. She runs and cartwheels up onto the stage, and immediately launches into a full spinning hook kick. Luke staggers into a pile of chairs. Buffy assumes a fighting position. Luke gets up and growls. He comes at her and swings, but she ducks the punch and comes up behind him. He tries a backhand punch, but she blocks him, holds onto his arm and gives him three roundhouse kicks to his stomach before he shakes loose. She takes her stake and lunges at him. He blocks the lunge, knocking the stake from her grip. He lifts her up and throws her into a pile of boxes. Cut to the back of the Bronze. Giles, Willow and Xander break in. Giles: Hurry! Xander runs in to see what's going on. He sees Buffy is down. She gets up, so Xander turns his attention to the crowd. Xander: (in a low voice) C'mon! Let's go! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Cut to the back. Giles guides the people to the back door. Giles: (whispers) Hurry up! Come on! Through this door! Come on! This way! Cut to the main room. Buffy spins around and lands a backhand punch on Luke's face, knocking him into another pile of stuff. He's dazed. Buffy turns to see a vampire grab Xander. She grabs a cymbal from a drum set and throws it at the vampire like a Frisbee. Xander sees it coming and ducks. The cymbal decapitates the vampire. Xander: Head's up! Buffy can't resist a chuckle. Luke grabs her from behind. Cut to Cordelia on the floor with Jesse above her. She struggles and he grabs her arms. Jesse: Hold still! You're not making this easy! Xander comes up behind him, stake in hand. Xander: Jesse, man! Don't make me do it. Jesse turns to look up at Xander. Jesse: Buddy! Cut to Buffy being held tightly from behind by Luke. Luke: I always wanted to kill a Slayer! Cut to the back where Giles and Willow are still guiding people out. Giles: One at a time! Quickly! Quickly! He crosses to the other side of the room in front of some stairs. Darla is standing on the steps above him. Giles: We're going to have to open the front as well! Darla leaps onto him from behind, knocking him to the floor. Cut to Xander and Jesse. Xander: Jesse! I know there's still a part of you in there. Jesse: (jumps up) Okay... Let's deal with this. Jesse was an excruciating loser who couldn't get a date with anyone in the sighted community! Look at me. I'm a new man! Cut to Buffy and Luke. Luke: Master! Taste of this... and be free! He roars and moves in to bite Buffy. She senses his proximity and snaps her head back to land a headbutt on his face, knocking him off of her and back to the wall. She turns to him, winded. Buffy: How'd it taste? Cut to Giles and Darla struggling on the floor. Willow approaches them while taking out a jar of holy water. Willow: Get off of him! Darla is distracted and looks up. Willow throws the holy water at her. It burns her face and steams. She gets up and runs from the club, screaming. Cut to Jesse and Xander. Jesse grabs Xander by the jacket and lifts him around against a wall. Xander has the stake pointed at Jesse's chest. Jesse: Ooo! Alright. Put me out of my misery. You don't have the guts. A fleeing patron bumps into Jesse, impaling him on the stake. Xander lets go of the stake, and Jesse begins to fall. He turns to ashes before he even hits the floor. Two vampires grab Xander. Cut to Buffy. She grabs a microphone stand and holds it like a javelin. Luke: You forget, metal can't hurt me. Buffy: There's something you forgot about, too. Sunrise! She throws the stand at the window behind Luke. He ducks, and it breaks the window behind him. A bright light pours in through it. Buffy spies the stake she dropped on the stage and picks it up. Luke gets up and shields his face with his hands, expecting to be burned. He stops when he realizes it's only a bright lamp. Buffy lunges at him from behind and jams the stake home. Buffy: It's in about nine hours, moron! Luke begins to stagger off of the stage. Cut to the Master. He's testing the strength of his confines. Cut to Luke. He continues to stagger. Cut to the Master. Still testing. Cut to Luke. He falls from the stage and explodes into ash. Cut to the Master. He feels Luke's death and falls to his knees. Master: Noooooooo! Noooooooo! Cut to Buffy. She stares at Luke's ashes. The two vampires still have Xander. She lifts her gaze to meet theirs. The vampires panic and run. Cut outside. The vampires run past Angel standing behind some crates stacked against a wall. He watches them run, then looks back the other way. Angel: She did it! I'll be damned! He walks away. Cut inside to the stage. Buffy hops down to the floor. Giles and Willow meet her. Giles: I take it it's over. Willow: Did we win? Buffy: Well, we averted the Apocalypse. I give us points for that. Xander: One thing's for sure: nothing's ever gonna be the same. Cut to Sunnydale High the next Monday. Everything appears normal. Buffy walks along and overhears Cordelia talking to a friend. Cordelia: Well, I heard it was rival gangs. You know, fighting for turf? But all I can tell you is they were an ugly way of looking. And Buffy, like, knew them! Which is just too weird. I mean, I don't even remember that much, but I'm telling you, it was a freak show! Girl: Oh, I wish I'd been there! Cordelia: You should have been there. It was so creepy... She and her friend walk off. Buffy meets Xander. Buffy: What exactly were you expecting? Xander: I don't know, something. I mean, the dead rose. We should at least have an assembly. They run into Giles and Willow, and the four of them continue to walk. Giles: People have a tendency to rationalize what they can and forget what they can't. Buffy: Believe me, I've seen it happen. Willow: Well, I'll never forget it, none of it. Giles: Good! Next time you'll be prepared. Xander: Next time? Willow: Next time is why? Giles: We've prevented the Master from freeing himself and opening the Mouth of Hell. That's not to say he's going to stop trying. I'd say the fun is just beginning. Willow: More vampires? They stop walking. Giles: Not just vampires. The next threat we face may be something quite different. Buffy: I can hardly wait! Giles: We're at the center of a mystical convergence here. We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction. Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school! The three students continue to class. Giles stays behind and watches them go. Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. 'Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths. Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that. Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying. Giles turns to go back to his library. Giles: The Earth is doomed!

Episode two - summary

2004-11-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

Episode 2 "The Harvest" Summary
Sixteen-year-old Buffy Summers has moved to Sunnydale from L.A., hoping to leave Buffy's troubled past behind. But Sunnydale High librarian Rupert Giles knows who Buffy is: she is the Slayer, the one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to hunt and kill vampires. He knows about her past because he is her new Watcher -- the person whose destiny it is to train and guide Slayers on their path. Buffy quickly makes two friends: the shy, bookish Willow, and the goofy but lovable Xander, who is instantly attracted to Buffy.
When a student is found dead in a locker -- with bite marks on his neck and completely drained of his blood -- Giles enlists Buffy's help. She resists, trying to get out of the slaying game for good, but Giles insists that a crucial mystical upheaval is about to occur. Unbeknownst to them, a bewildered Xander overhears their conversation -- Buffy's secret is out. Later, in a dark, eerie chamber, we see a vampire who seems to be confirming Giles' prophecy. The vampire, Luke, kneels in front of a pool of blood and says, "The sleeper will awaken. And the world will bleed."
On her way to the Bronze, Sunnydale's hippest (and only) club, Buffy is followed by a handsome, mysterious stranger. He tells her she must be ready for the Harvest, and gives her a small cross. Giles meets her at the Bronze and she tells him about the encounter. Giles convinces her to use her power, and wants her to try to sense if there are any vampires in the room. She does sense one and finds him talking to Willow, but the two have walked away. Trying to catch him unawares, she grabs a makeshift stake, turns a corner and attacks... Cordelia, the snootiest girl in school, who already thought Buffy was a loser for hanging with Willow, and now thinks she’s certifiable. We see Jesse, Xander's buddy, chatting with a girl we saw in vampire garb earlier, but who now appears as a normal student, Darla. Back to the pool of blood, something breaks through the surface and rises: the demonic Master Vampire. He is hungry and weak, and asks Luke to bring him something young.
Outside the Bronze, Buffy enlists Xander's help in finding Willow, who's already been lead to a mausoleum by the vampire. Willow's happy to find Jesse there, until she sees that Darla has already bit him in the neck. Buffy and Xander enter, and Buffy promptly kills the vampire boy. Now Willow is finally in on the secret. While Darla tries to attack Buffy, Xander and Willow lead a weakened Jesse out. Luke joins the battle and throws Buffy across the room. As he tries to bite her in the neck, he burns his hand on her cross, giving her a chance to escape. She finds her friends struggling with several vampires. Buffy impales one and the others flee. Meanwhile, Jesse has been taken to the Master, who hears about Buffy. By her strength, he can tell that she's the Slayer. The Master knows that Buffy will come looking for Jesse, and then she will be his.
Giles enlists Willow to check the internet for more information about the Harvest, while Buffy decides to go look for Jesse. At the mausoleum, she runs into the stranger again, whose name is Angel. He warns that the Harvest will be that night. Then Buffy is shocked to find Xander has followed her. They find Jesse, who tries to lead them out, until he turns to face them and they discover he's become a vampire. More vampires surround and chase them, but they manage to escape to the street through a grating. The Master is furious that the Slayer has escaped. But he allows Luke to feed from him as a way of gaining strength for himself. He dabs some of his blood on Luke's forehead and paints a three-pointed star.
Willow's research explains that on the night of the Harvest, the Master Vampire can draw power from one of his minions while it feeds and then can break through from their reality to ours. The minion is called the Vessel, and bears the symbol we saw painted on Luke. Xander guesses the vampires will converge on the Bronze, since it's always filled with young people. That night, a newly confident Jesse strides into the Bronze and hits on Cordelia, who actually allows the former loser to dance with her. Soon, a gang of vampires takes over the club, with Luke at the helm. By the time Buffy, Giles, Xander and Willow get there, the suckfest is in full swing, with the Master gaining strength from each victim. Buffy manages to kill a few other vampires, then Jesse winds up impaling himself on a stake a frightened Xander was holding. Buffy breaks a large window, trying to make Luke think the streetlight is daylight, which will destroy him. He buys it for a second, and she takes advantage of his confusion by driving a stake through his back. Now the Master is too weak to break through to the other side, and Sunnydale has been spared.
This time.

Episode one - Written by and Air Dates

2004-11-23T13:37:00.001-08:00

Written By: Joss WhedonDirected By: Charles Martin SmithProduction Code: 4V01Welcome To The Hellmouth:

Ep1.2 Trailer (1.43 MB) Ep1.2 Images
Air Dates:
USA, WB
Monday, 10th March 1997
Aust, 7
Wednesday, 03rd December 1997
Can, WB
Monday, 10th March 1997
Ger, Pro7
Friday, 09th October 1998
It, Italia 1
Sunday, 11th June 2000
NZ, Tv3
Mon, 30 Jun 97
Fr, Serie
Fri-03-Apr-1998

Episode one - Written by and Air Dates

2004-11-23T13:37:00.000-08:00

Written By: Joss WhedonDirected By: Charles Martin SmithProduction Code: 4V01Welcome To The Hellmouth:

Ep1.2 Trailer (1.43 MB) Ep1.2 Summary Ep1.2 Transcript Ep1.2 Images Ep1.2 Statistics

Air Dates:
USA, WB
Monday, 10th March 1997
Aust, 7
Wednesday, 03rd December 1997
Can, WB
Monday, 10th March 1997
Ger, Pro7
Friday, 09th October 1998
It, Italia 1
Sunday, 11th June 2000
NZ, Tv3
Mon, 30 Jun 97
Fr, Serie
Fri-03-Apr-1998

Episode one - Stats

2004-11-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

Vampires Slain:
1
Demons Slain:
0
Human Deaths:
1
Total:
2
>> General Statistics

Sex Scenes
None
Kisses
None
Hugging
None
Tears
None
Vampire Kills
1
Deaths
2
Tear Jerkers
None
Swearing
1
Arguing
2
Eat/Drink
6
Listen To Music
None
Songs
3
Have Conversations
57
Break Something
5
Hurting
24
Laughing
4
Advice Given
1
Screams
5
Spells
None
Sleeping
2
Telephone Use
None
Watching Television
None
Biting
1
Studying
1
Buffy Gets Harmed
9
Scenes In A Car
1
Jewelry Worn
1
>> Character Statistics

Buffy Gives Attitude
68
Willow Does A Spell/Goes Online
None
Xander Is Witty
16
Giles Cleans/Takes Off His Glasses/Puts Them Back On
None
>> General Statistics

Sex Scenes
None
Kisses
None
Hugging
None
Tears
None
Vampire Kills
1
Deaths
2
Tear Jerkers
None
Swearing
1
Arguing
2
Eat/Drink
6
Listen To Music
None
Songs
3
Have Conversations
57
Break Something
5
Hurting
24
Laughing
4
Advice Given
1
Screams
5
Spells
None
Sleeping
2
Telephone Use
None
Watching Television
None
Biting
1
Studying
1
Buffy Gets Harmed
9
Scenes In A Car
1
Jewelry Worn
1
>> Character Statistics

Buffy Gives Attitude
68
Willow Does A Spell/Goes Online
None
Xander Is Witty
16
Giles Cleans/Takes Off His Glasses/Puts Them Back On
None

Episode one - Script

2004-11-23T13:34:00.000-08:00

Welcome To The Hellmouth
Written by: Joss WhedonDirected by: Charles Martin SmithTranscribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright (c) 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~ I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "Welcome to the Hellmouth". It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I felt they were needed. I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please let me know and I will post an update. rev 99.06.23 This episode was originally broadcast on March 10, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School at night. The camera pans around from the side of the building to the main entrance. Cut to a hall. The camera moves down the hall past the trophy case and at the library turns to the right down another hall. Cut to a science classroom. The camera pans low along a row of desks. Cut to the windows. The counter in front of them is full of various things: a skeleton, some vertebrae, jars of things in formaldehyde, a skull and a microscope. A fist punches through a windowpane and reaches in to undo the clasp. It's a boy and a girl, sneaking into the school. Darla: Are you sure this is a good idea? Boy: It's a great idea, now come on. They crawl in. Cut to the hall. They come out of the classroom and walk down the hall. Darla: Do you go to school here? Boy: I used to. On top of the gym it's so cool. You can see the whole town. He continues down the hall, but she stops him close to the intersection. Darla: I, I, I, I don't wanna go up there. Boy: Aw, you can't wait, huh? Darla: We're just gonna get in trouble. Boy: Yeah, you can count on it. They almost kiss when Darla startles, draws a quick breath and turns her head around to look down the hall. Darla: What was that? Boy: What was what? Darla: I heard a noise. Boy: It's nothing! Darla: Uh, uh, maybe it's something. Boy: Or maybe it's some *thing*! Darla: That's not funny. He looks down the other hall. Boy: Hellooooo! (to Darla) There's nobody here. Darla: Are you sure? (looks away) Boy: Yes, I'm sure. Darla: Okay. She turns back to him all vamped out. She growls and bites him. He grunts in pain as they sink to the floor. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. The camera shows a shot from above of her in bed. She's having the nightmares, with visions of the Master's lair, the cemetery, the Master, of vampires and other demons, various events and artifacts. She wakes with a start. Joyce: (off camera) Buffy? Buffy: (sitting up) I'm up, Mom! Joyce: (off camera) Don't wanna be late for your first day! Buffy: (to herself) No... Wouldn't want that. Cut to the school. The camera pans from the street to the main building. Cut to Joyce pulling up to the school in her Jeep to drop off Buffy. Joyce: Okay! Buffy gets out. Joyce: Have a good time. I know you're gonna make friends right away, just think positive. (gives a thumbs up) Buffy looks through the open car door and gives her mother a quick nod. She turns to go and closes the door behind her. Joyce: And honey? Buffy looks back at her mom again. Joyce: Try not to get kicked out? Buffy: I promise. Joyce: Okay. Buffy faces the school and lets out a deep breath. Joyce drives off. Cut to Xander, doing his usual bob and weave through the crowd on his skateboard. Xander: 'Scuse me, comin' through, pardon me, 'scuse me, whoa! 'Scuse me, not sure how to stop! Please move, whoa, 'scuse me... (notices Buffy) Whoa! He stares at her and doesn't notice that he's headed right for the stair railing. He crashes into it and falls beneath it, grunting in pain. Willow walks up and has to step high to avoid tripping over his legs. Xander: I'm Okay. I feel good. She looks down at him, smiling and pulling her hair behind her ear. Xander: (sees her) Willow! You're so very much the person that I wanted to see! (gets up) Willow: Oh, really? They start walking toward the school. Xander: Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math. Willow: Uh, which part? Xander: The math. Can you help me out tonight, pleeeease, be my study buddy? Willow: Well, what's in it for me? Xander: A shiny nickel! Willow: Okay. Do you have 'Theories in Trig'? You should check it out. Xander: Check it out? Willow: From the library? Where the books live. Xander: Right, I'm there! See, I wanna change... Cut to the hall just inside the door. Jesse: Hey, hey! Xander: Hey, Jesse, what's what? Jesse: New Girl! Xander: That's right, I saw her. Pretty much a hottie! Willow: I heard someone was transferring... Xander: So tell! Jesse: Tell what? Xander: What's the sitch, what do ya know about her? Jesse: New girl! Xander: Well, you're certainly a font of nothing! Cut to Principal Flutie's office. Buffy is seated. He has her school records and walks around the desk to his chair as he looks them over. Mr. Flutie: Buffy Summers, sophomore, late of Hemery High in Los Angeles. Interesting record, quite a career... He sits, takes the sheet he's reading and tears it into four pieces. Mr. Flutie: Welcome to Sunnydale! A clean slate, Buffy, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper, even if it says... (reads) Whoa. Buffy: Mr. Flutie... Mr. Flutie: All the kids here are free to call me Bob. Buffy: Bob... Mr. Flutie: But they don't. He begins reassembling the torn sheet. Buffy: I know my transcripts are a little... colorful. Mr. Flutie: Heeey... We're not caring about that. Do you think, uh, 'colorful' is the word? (tapes the paper) Not, uh, 'dismal'? Buffy: Wasn't *that* bad! Mr. Flutie: You burned down the gym. Buffy: (exhales) I did, I really did, but... You're not seeing the big picture here, I mean, that gym was full of vampi... asbestos. Mr. Flutie: Buffy, don't worry. Any other school they might say 'watch your step', or 'we'll be watching you'... But, that's just not the way *here*. We want to service your needs, and help you to respect our needs. And if your needs and our needs don't mesh... He puts the poorly repaired sheet back into her file and slaps it shut. She gives him a thin, nervous smile. Cut to the hall. Buffy comes out of Mr. Flutie's office. She opens her bag and rummages through it as she walks into the hall right in front of a girl and a boy. The girl bumps into her, making her lose her grip on the bag and spill its contents. Buffy: Oh! Sorry! Girl: That's okay. Buffy: (looks down at the mess) Oh... Xander hears the noise, looks back, quickly comes over and squats down next to her to help her gather her things. Xander: Can I have you? She gives him a confused look. Xander: Duh... (chuckles) Can I help you? Buffy: (smiles) Thanks. Xander: I don't know you, do I? Buffy: I'm Buffy. I'm new. Xander: Xander. Is, is me. Hi. (smiles) Buffy: Um, thanks. They finish gathering up everything. Xander: Well, uh, maybe I'll see you around... maybe at school... since we... both... go there. Buffy: Great! (they stand up) It was nice to meet you. She starts down the hall. Xander: (unimpressed with himself) We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic. He notices a stake still on the floor. Xander: Oh, hey! (picks it up) Hey, you forgot your... stake! Buffy doesn't hear him and continues down the hall. Xander holds on to the stake. Cut to a classroom. The teacher writes "The Black Death" on the board and then turns to the class. Teacher: It's estimated that about twenty-five million people died in that one four-year span. But the fun part of the Black Plague is that it originated in Europe how? Cordelia is taking notes. So is Buffy, seated next to her. Teacher: As an early form of germ warfare. If you'll look at the map on page sixty-three you can trace the spread of the disease into Rome, and then north... Buffy doesn't have a book and looks around for help. Cordelia notices and shares her book. Buffy: (to Cordelia) Thanks. Teacher: And this popular plague led to what social changes? Steve? The bell rings and the students get up to leave. Cordelia: Hi! I'm Cordelia. (offers her hand) Buffy: (accepts it) I'm Buffy. Cordelia: If you're looking for a textbook of your very own there's probably a few in the library. Buffy: Oh, great, thanks. (they get up) Where would that be? Cordelia: I'll show you, come on. (they start out of the classroom) So you're from Hemery, right? In L.A.? Buffy: Uh, yeah. Cordelia: Oh, I would *kill* to live in L.A. That close to that many shoes? Buffy has to laugh as they go into the hall. Cut to the two of them walking down another part of the hall. Cordelia: Well, you'll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted in no time. Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from L.A., so you can skip the written, but let's see. Vamp nail polish. Buffy: Um, over? Cordelia: So over. James Spader. Buffy: He needs to call me! Cordelia: Frappaccinos. Buffy: Trendy, but tasty. Cordelia: John Tesh. Buffy: The Devil. Cordelia: That was pretty much a gimme, but... you passed! Buffy: Oh, goody! They turn toward a drinking fountain. Willow is there. She straightens up and sees them coming. Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. Willow: Uh, oh, well, my mom picked it out. Cordelia: No wonder you're such a guy magnet. Are you done? Willow looks at the fountain, then back at Cordelia. Willow: Oh! She turns and leaves. Buffy watches her go for a moment, then looks back at Cordelia after she starts talking again. Cordelia: You wanna fit in here, the first rule is: know your losers. Once you can identify them all by sight (glances after Willow) they're a lot easier to avoid. Buffy lets out a nervous laugh and nods. She looks at Willow again, who has gone through the door at the end of the hall. Willow looks back at them before she continues. Cut to another area in the halls. The two of them continue their walk to the library. Cordelia: And if you're not too swamped with catching up you should come by the Bronze tonight. Buffy: The who? Cordelia: The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town. Buffy: Where's that? (stops outside the library doors) Cordelia: About a half a block from the good part of town. (laughing) We don't have a whole lot of town here. But, um, you should show! Buffy: Well, I'll try. (looks toward the library) Uh, thanks. Cordelia: Good. So, um, I'll see you in gym, and you can tell me absolutely everything there is to know about you. (waves and goes) Buffy: (waves back) Great! (to herself) Oh, that sounds like fun. She goes into the library. Cut inside. She comes in and looks around. It looks deserted. Buffy: Hello? (continues in) Is anybody here? She looks at the book checkout counter and sees a newspaper. A picture has been circled. The caption above it reads "Local Boys Still Missing." Giles comes up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. She spins around, startled. Buffy: Ooo! (exhales) Anybody's here! Giles: Can I help you? Buffy: I was looking for some, well, books. I'm new. Giles: Miss Summers? Buffy: Good call! Guess I'm the only new kid, huh? Giles: I'm Mr. Giles. The librarian. I was told you were coming. He heads around behind the counter. Buffy: Great! So, um, I'm gonna need 'Perspectives on 20th Century...' Giles: (interrupting) I know what you're after! With a big grin on his face he pulls out a large old book with the word "VAMPYR" written in gold leaf on the front cover. Buffy looks up at him with an uneasy gaze. Buffy: That's not what I'm looking for. Giles: Are you sure? Buffy: I'm *way* sure. Giles: (confused) My mistake. He puts the book back behind the counter. Buffy quickly leaves. Giles: (straightening back up) So, what is it you said... He sees her go out of the library. Their first encounter leaves him puzzled. Cut to the girls' locker room. Two girls are discussing Buffy. Aphrodisia: The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. What kind of name is Buffy? Girl: Hey, Aphrodisia! Aphrodisia: Oh, Hey! Aura: Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out, and that's why her mom had to get a new job. The girls work the combinations to their gym lockers. Aphrodisia: Neg! Aura: Pos! She was starting fights! Aphrodisia: Neg-ly! Aura: (opening her locker) Well I heard from Blue, and she said that... The dead boy falls out of the locker onto Aura's arm. She screams and lets the body fall. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The quad at school. Willow is sitting on a bench in front of a wall taking out her lunch. Buffy approaches her. Buffy: Uh, Hi! Willow, right? Willow: (looks up) Why? I-I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move? Buffy: Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and, uh, then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor. (sits next to her) It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while. Willow: But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia? Buffy: I can't do both? Willow: Not legally. Buffy: (exhales) Look, I really wanna get by here, new school, and... Cordelia's been really nice... to me... anyway, but, um, I kinda have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I heard a rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get caught up. Willow: Oh, I could *totally* help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library? Buffy: Or not. Or we could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins. Willow: Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it, though, it's a great collection, and the new librarian is really cool. Buffy: He's new? Willow: Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or, or The British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies, and am I the single dullest person alive? Buffy: Not at all. Xander hops up onto the wall behind the girls and sits on it between them. Jesse stands in front of them and drops his bag. Jesse: Hey! Xander: You guys busy? Are we interrupting? We're interrupting. He tosses his bag to Jesse. Buffy: Hey! Willow: Hey! Jesse: Hey there! He drops Xander's bag next to his own. Willow: Buffy, this is Jesse and that's Xander. Xander: Oh, me and Buffy go waaay back, old friends, very close. Then there's that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people, but now here we are, like old times, I'm quite moved. Jesse: Is it me, or are you turning into a bibbling idiot? Xander: No, it's, uh, it's not you. Buffy: Well, it's nice to meet you guys, I think. Xander jumps down to retrieve the stake from his bag. Jesse: Well, you know, we wanted to welcome ya, make ya feel at home, unless you have a scary home... Xander: And to return this. (holds up the stake) The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence. (hands it to her) Buffy: (takes it) Hah, no, um, a-a-actually it was for self-defense. Everyone has them in L.A. Pepper spray is just so passé. Xander: So what do you do for fun, what do you like, what do you look for in a man, let's hear it. Jesse: If you have any dark, painful secrets you'd like us to publish? Buffy: Gee, everyone wants to know about me. How keen. Xander: Well, not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale. You're pretty big news. Buffy: I'm not. Really. Cordelia: (interrupts) Are these guys bothering you? Buffy: Uh, no! Willow: She's not hanging out with us. Jesse: (stands next to her) Hey! Cordelia! Cordelia: (to Jesse) Oh, please! (to Buffy) I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was canceled due to the *extreme* dead guy in the locker. Buffy: What? Willow: What are you talking about? Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker! Buffy: Dead. Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead. Xander: It's not just a little dead, then? Cordelia: Don't you have an elsewhere to be? Jesse: Y'know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on... Buffy: How did he die? Cordelia: I don't know. Buffy: Well, were there any marks? Cordelia: Morbid much! I didn't ask! Buffy: (looks at everyone) Um, I gotta book. I'll, I'll see you guys later. She grabs her things and leaves. Cordelia stares after her. Cordelia: What's her deal? Cut to outside the gym. Buffy sneaks up to an outside entrance. It's locked. She uses her strength to break the door and goes in, looking around to make sure no one sees her. Cut to the locker room. Buffy finds the body and pulls back the sheet. She sees the vampire bite. Buffy: Oh, great! Cut to the library. Buffy barges in. Buffy: Okay, what's the sitch? Giles: (in the stacks) Sorry? Buffy: You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker? Giles: (steps into the light) Yes. She drops her bag on the study table and heads up the stairs. Buffy: 'Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. (meets him) Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, ooo? Giles: I was afraid of this. Buffy: Well, *I* wasn't! It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus. And I don't care. Giles: Then why are you here? Buffy: To tell you that... I don't care, which... I don't, and... have now told you, so... bye. (turns away to go) Giles: Is he, w-will he... rise again? Buffy: (turns back) Who? Giles: The boy. Buffy: No. He's just dead. Giles: Can you be sure? Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you? Buffy turns and goes down the stairs. Giles moves over to the railing. Giles: You really have no idea what's going on, do you? You think it's coincidence, your being here? That boy was just the beginning. Buffy: Oh, why can't you people just leave me alone? Giles: Because you are the Slayer. (comes down the stairs) Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires... Buffy: (interrupts and joins in) ...with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah... I've heard it, okay? Giles: I really don't understand this attitude. You, you've accepted your duty, you, you've slain vampires before... Buffy: Yeah, and I've both been there and done that, and I'm moving on. Giles: What do you know about this town? (goes into his office) Buffy: It's two hours on the freeway from Neiman Marcus? Giles: Dig a bit in the history of this place. You'll find a, a steady stream of fairly odd occurrences. Now, I believe this whole area is a center of mystical energy, (comes back with four books) that things gravitate towards it that, that, that you might not find elsewhere. (sets them on the table) Buffy: Like vampires. He puts the volumes into Buffy's arms one by one as he lists off various monsters and demons. Giles: Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real! Buffy: What? You, like, sent away for the Time-Life series? Giles: Ah, w-w-w-yes. Buffy: Did you get the free phone? Giles: Um, the calendar. Buffy: Cool! But, okay, (gives back the books) first of all, I'm a Vampire Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em? Giles: I-I'm a Watcher, I-I haven't the skill... Buffy: Oh, come on, stake through the heart, a little sunlight... It's like falling off a log. Giles: A, a Slayer slays, a Watcher... Buffy: ...watches? Giles: Yes. No! (sets down the books) He, he trains her, he, he, he prepares her... Buffy: Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead! Prepare me. They just look at each other for a moment. Buffy exhales, turns and leaves the library in disgust. Giles hesitates for an instant. Giles: (to himself) Damn! He runs after Buffy. Xander walks out from behind the stacks. Xander: What? Cut to the hall. Giles catches up with Buffy. Giles: It's getting worse! Buffy: What's getting worse? He guides her over to the wall and speaks with her in a low voice. Giles: The influx of the undead, the... supernatural occurrences, it's been building for years. There's a reason why you're here and a reason why it's now! Buffy: Because now is the time my mom moved here. She tries to evade him, but he puts his arm out to stop her. Giles: Something's coming, something, something... something is, is gonna happen here. Soon! Buffy: Gee, can you vague that up for me? Giles: The signs, as far as I can tell, point to a crucial mystical upheaval, very soon. Days. Possibly less. Buffy: Oh, come on! This is Sunnydale! How bad an evil can there be here? Cut to outside the school. The camera descends behind some bushes and sinks through the ground into the lair of the Master. There are candles everywhere. Vampires bearing torches are gathering. The camera moves around the lair as Luke chants and eventually comes to rest on him. Luke: The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake, and the world will bleed. Amen! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She's considering what to wear to the Bronze. She holds a shiny black outfit up to the mirror. Buffy: Hi! I'm an enormous slut! (holds up a blue floral dress) Hello! Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'? (lowers the dress) I used to be so good at this. Her mother comes into the room. Joyce: Hi, hon. Buffy returns her dresses to the closet. Buffy: Hey! Joyce: Are you, uh, going out tonight? Buffy: Yeah, I'm going to a club. Joyce: Oh. Will there be boys there? Buffy: No, Mom. It's a nun club. Joyce: Well, just be careful. Buffy: I will. Joyce: You know, I think we can make it work here. I've got my positive energy flowing... I'm gonna get the Gallery on its feet... Oh, uh, we may have found a space today. Buffy: That's great. Joyce: Oh, and that school is a, a very nurturing environment, which is just what you need. Buffy: Well, actually... Joyce: Oh, not too nurturing. I know, you're sixteen, I've read all about the dangers of over-nurturing. Buffy goes to her bed and lays out a couple of outfits. Joyce: It's hard. New town and everything... It is for me, too. I'm trying to make it work. (takes her daughter's hands in hers) I'm *going* to make it work. Buffy: I know. Joyce: Oh, you're a good girl, Buffy, (pats her on the head) you just fell in with the wrong crowd. But that is all behind us now. Buffy: It is. From now on I am only going to hang out with the living. (they let go of their hands, and she picks up her dresses) I mean, lively. People. Buffy heads back to her closet with an awkward look on her face. Joyce: Hmm. Okay. You have fun. Cut outside later that evening. Buffy is walking down a dark street, when someone appears behind her. She senses that she is being followed. After walking for a ways, when she gets a chance she ducks down an alley and looks around for a place to hide. A cat yowls and kicks some cans as it runs away. She spies something above her. Angel comes into the alley but doesn't see her. As he slowly walks along, the camera pulls up to reveal Buffy in a handstand on a bar high above the pavement. When Angel has passed underneath her, she swings down and kicks him in the back. He is knocked to the ground, and Buffy positions herself above him with a foot on his chest. Angel: Ah, heh. Is there a problem, ma'am? Buffy: Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me? Angel: I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite. She backs off and lets him get up, but keeps her fighting stance. Angel: Truth is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though. (massages his neck) Buffy: What do you want? Angel: The same thing you do. Buffy: (lets down her guard) Okay. What do I want? Angel: (steps toward her) To kill them. To kill them all. Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I want is to be left alone! She starts a determined walk away. Angel: Do you really think that's an option anymore? You're standing at the Mouth of Hell. And it's about to open. She stops, turns to him and looks at him with a wide-eyed gaze. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small box. Angel: Don't turn your back on this. (tosses her the box) You've gotta be ready. Buffy: What for? Angel: For the Harvest. Buffy: Who are you? Angel: Let's just say... I'm a friend. (starts to leave) Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend. Angel: (turns back) I didn't say I was yours. He leaves. Buffy stares after him for a moment, then opens the box. It contains a silver cross and chain. She takes it out, holds it in her hand and takes another glance in his direction. Cut to outside the Bronze. People are arriving and meeting. Buffy is wearing the cross around her neck. She walks up to the entrance, gives the doorman some cash and goes in. Sprung Monkey is playing "Believe" loudly, and the dance floor is crowded with people. Lyrics: Oh, I just want to believe / Can you hear me? / Can you see me? / What's inside of me? / Oh, I just want to believe / If my life can have a purpose / Help me to believe / Oh, I just want to believe / Can you hear me? / Can you see me? / What's inside of me? / Oh, I just want to believe / If my life can have a purpose / Help me to believe Buffy moves to the music a bit. She sees a guy waving in her direction and waves back, then notices someone behind her waving back and pulls her hand down, embarrassed. Lyrics: Everybody wants to find the circle / The line of truth that has no end / Because so many nights I've slept with the feeling of empty / And I say, right now I'm ready to believe She finds the bar and sees Willow sitting there. Buffy: Hey! Willow: Oh, hi! Buffy walks around her and sits on the stool next to her. Willow turns to face her. Willow: Hi! Buffy: Oh, you're here with someone? Willow: No, I'm just here. I thought Xander was gonna show up. Buffy: Oh, are you guys going out? Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up. Buffy: How come? Willow: He stole my Barbie. (Buffy looks confused) Oh, we were five. Buffy: Oh. Willow: I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately. Buffy: Why not? Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away. Buffy: It's not *that* bad! Willow: No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk. Buffy: You really *haven't* been dating lately. Willow: It's probably easy for you. Buffy: Yeah, real easy. Willow: I-I mean you don't seem too shy. Buffy: Well, my philosophy, do you wanna hear my philosophy? Willow: Yeah, I do! Buffy: Life is short. Willow: Life is short! Buffy: Not original, I'll grant you, but it's true. You know? Why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy, and if he's gonna laugh at you. Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead. Willow: Oh, that's nice! Buffy looks up and sees Giles on the upper level. Buffy: Um, I'll be back in a minute. (gets up to go) Willow: Oh, tha-that's okay, you don't have to come back. Buffy: (smiles) I'll be back in a minute. Willow: (to herself) Seize the moment. Cut to Buffy, making her way to the stairs. The camera follows her up. Lyrics: I feel love with my friends / I feel love in my songs / If I could just hold love / Then all the answers might come / I said, oh, if we're all children of God / And we just turned away / I got a lack of belief / I said a world without faith / It's time we turn back around Buffy: (finds Giles) So, you like to party with the students. Isn't that kinda skanky? Giles: Oh, right, this is me having fun. Watching... clown hair prance about is hardly my idea of a party. I'd much rather be at home with a cup of Bovril and a good book. Buffy: You need a personality, stat! Giles: (points to the crowd below) This is a perfect breeding ground for vampire activity. It's dark, it's crowded... Besides, I knew you were likely to show up, and I have to make you understand... Buffy: ...that the Harvest is coming. I know, your friend told me. Giles: What did you say? Buffy: The Harvest. That mean something to you? 'Cause I'm drawing a blank. Giles: I'm not sure. Uh... W-who told you this? Buffy: This... guy. Dark, gorgeous in an annoying sort of way. I figured you two were buds. Giles: No. The Harvest. Did he say anything else? Buffy: Something about the Mouth of Hell. I *really* didn't like him! The band has finished its song and there's lots of applause. They soon start their next song, "Swirl". Giles moves around Buffy, leans on the railing and looks down at the crowd. Giles: Look at them, throwing themselves about, completely unaware of the danger that surrounds them. Buffy: Lucky them. Giles: Or perhaps you're right. Perhaps there is no trouble coming, the signs could be wrong. It's not as though you've been having the nightmares. Buffy is silent. Cut to below. Cordelia: My mom doesn't even *get* out of bed anymore. And the doctor says it's Epstein-Barr. I'm like, pleeease! It's chronic hepatitis, or at least chronic fatigue syndrome. I mean, *nobody* cool has Epstein-Barr anymore. Jesse spots Cordelia and comes over. Jesse: Hey, Cordelia! Cordelia: Oh, yay, it's my stalker. (makes a face) Jesse: Hey, you, uh, you look great! Cordelia: Well, I'm glad we had this little chat. Jesse: (coughs) Listen, uh, you know, you wanna dance, you know? Cordelia: With you? Jesse: Well, uh, yeah. Cordelia: Well, uh, no! C'mon, guys. She and her friends leave. Jesse is left in the dust. Jesse: Fine! Plenty of other fish in the sea. Oh, yeah, I'm... on the prowl. Witness me prowling! Cut to Buffy and Giles on the upper level. Buffy: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it. You know, if I see one, sure I'll... Giles: (interrupting) Will you be ready? There's so much you don't know about them, about your own powers. A vampire appears to be completely normal until the feed is upon them, only then do they reveal their true demonic visage. Buffy: You're like a textbook with arms, I know this. Giles: The point is, a Slayer should be able to see them anyway. Without looking, without thinking. Can you tell me if there's a vampire in this building? Buffy: Maybe... Giles: You should know. Even through this mass and this... din, you should be able to sense them. Well, try! Reach out with your mind. (Buffy looks around) You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes over you, until you, you feel every particle o-of... Buffy: There's one. Giles: W-where? Buffy: Right there, talking to that girl. Giles: You don't know... Buffy: Oh, please! Look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up, and the shirt! Deal with that outfit for a moment. Giles: It's dated? Buffy: It's carbon dated. Trust me, only someone living underground for ten years would think that was still the look. Giles: But you didn't... hone. Buffy: (notices that the girl is Willow) Oh, no. Giles: Isn't that... Buffy: Willow. Giles: What's she doing? Buffy: Seizing the moment! She starts down to rescue Willow. Lyrics: We're formed in liquid / Pushed out still dripping / A world was thrown before my eyes Cut to below. Willow is being led out of the Bronze by the vampire. Cut to Giles. He's at a loss for what to do. Lyrics: Now paint a picture / Crayon stick figures / With blue-haired people, purple skies Cut to below. Buffy has lost them. She tries the back. She breaks a leg off of a stack of chairs and begins to stalk. After a while Cordelia comes out of the restroom and surprises her. Buffy reacts, taking Cordelia by the throat and pushing her up against a wall. Buffy: (recognizing) Cordelia! (she lets go) Cordelia: God! What is your childhood trauma?! Her entourage appears in the restroom door behind her. Buffy: Have you guys seen Willow? Did she come by here? Cordelia: Why? Do you need to attack her with the stick? Jeez! Buffy turns and goes. Cordelia: (to her groupies) Excuse me, I have to call *everyone* I have *ever* met, right now. Cut to the main floor. Giles catches up with Buffy. Giles: That *was* quick. Well done! I-I need to go to the library. This Harvest thing... Buffy: I didn't find them! He grabs Buffy by the arm and turns her to face him. Giles: The vampire is not dead? Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list. Giles: (lets go of her) So, what do we do? Buffy: I'll take care of it! Giles: I-I-I need to come with you, yes? Buffy: Don't worry. One vampire I can handle. She leaves, walking past Jesse talking to Darla. Jesse: So, um, what did you say your name was? Darla: Darla. Jesse: Darla. You know, I haven't seen you around before. Are you from around here? Darla: No, but I have family here. Jesse: Have I met them? Darla: You probably will. Cut to the Master's lair. The Master rises out of the pool of blood as Luke kneels and looks on. He steps out of the pool over to Luke and offers his hand. Luke takes it. Luke: Master! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the Master's lair. Master: I am weak. Luke: (quotes scripture) 'In the Harvest he will be restored.' Master: The Harvest. Luke: We're almost there. Soon you'll be free! The Master reaches his arm out to test his mystical confines. They are still as strong as ever. Master: I must be ready. I need my strength. Luke: I've sent your servants to bring you some food. Master: Good. Luke? Luke: Yes? Master: Bring me something... young. Cut to the sidewalk next to the cemetery. Willow and Thomas are walking. Willow: Sure is dark. Thomas: It's night. Willow: Well, that's a dark time, night. Traditionally. I still can't believe I've never seen you at school. Do you have Mr. Chomsky for history? Thomas ignores her babbling and heads into the cemetery. Willow: Uh, the ice cream bar is this way. It's past Hamilton Street? Thomas: I know a shortcut. He grabs her hand and leads her into the cemetery. Cut to outside the Bronze. Buffy is trying to find Willow. Xander: Hey, you're leaving already? Buffy: Oh, Xander! Have you seen Willow? Xander: Not tonight, no. Buffy: She left with a guy. Xander: We're talking about Willow, right? Scorin' at the Bronze, work it girl... Buffy: (interrupts) No, I need to find her. Where would he take her? Xander: Why? Oh, hey, I hope he's not a vampire, because then you might have to slay him. Buffy: (taken aback) Was there a... a school bulletin? Was it i-in the newspaper? Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know I'm the Slayer? Xander: No. I only know that you *think* that you're the Slayer, and the reason why I know that... Buffy: (interrupts) Well, whatever, it doesn't matter, just tell me, where would Willow go? Xander: You're serious! Buffy: We don't find her and there's gonna be one more dead body in the morning! Cut to the cemetery. Willow and Thomas are walking. Willow: Oh, okay, th-this is nice... and scary. Are you sure this is faster? They reach the mausoleum. Thomas: Hey! Ever been in one of these? Willow: No. Thank you. (turns away) Thomas: Come on. (comes up behind her and pulls her hair back) What are you afraid of? He moves in toward her neck. She lets out a yelp as he grabs her and pushes her into the mausoleum. Cut to inside the mausoleum. Willow trips down the stairs and stops up against the stone coffin. She turns around. Willow: That wasn't funny! Thomas comes down the steps. She backs away from him, against a wall. She trips over some stones. Willow: I think I'm gonna go. Thomas: Is that what you think? He comes toward her again. She skirts by him, but only because he lets her. Darla blocks her way out of the mausoleum. Darla: Is this the best you could do? Thomas: She's fresh! Darla: Hardly enough to share. Thomas: Why didn't you bring your own? Darla: (gives him a look) I did. Jesse stumbles into the mausoleum, holding his neck. Jesse: Hey! Wait up! Willow: Oh, my God, Jesse! He is weak from blood loss and collapses. Willow tries to catch him and breaks his fall. Jesse: Y'know, you gave me a hickey. Thomas gives Darla a look. Darla: (shrugs) I got hungry on the way. Willow: Jesse, let's get outta here! Darla: Oh, you're not going anywhere. Willow: (confronts her) Leave us alone! Darla: You're not going anywhere until we've (vamps out) *fed*! Willow screams and falls back down next to Jesse. Buffy and Xander show up. Buffy: Well, this is nice. I-it's a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows... call it home! Buffy moves behind the coffin to draw the vampires away from the others. Darla: Who the hell are you? Buffy: You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already? Whew, that's a relief, I'm telling you! Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work. Xander: Buffy, we bail now, right? Thomas: Not yet! Buffy: Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge! The vampires close in on her. She turns to Darla. Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually there's just the hard way. Darla: That's fine with me! Buffy: Are you sure? Now, this in not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content... Thomas roars behind Buffy. She pulls the chair leg out from inside her shirt. He attacks from behind, but Buffy neatly jams the makeshift stake into his chest. He falls back and turns to ashes. Darla can't believe her eyes. Neither can anyone else. Buffy: See what happens when you roughhouse? Darla: He was young and stupid! Buffy: Xander, go! Darla: Don't go far! Buffy and Darla start to fight. Darla punches high, but Buffy blocks. Xander helps Willow pick up Jesse. Darla throws a backhand punch, but Buffy blocks again and follows up with a front snap kick to Darla's stomach. As she leans forward from the pain, Buffy slams her elbow into Darla's back. Cut to outside. Xander and Willow help Jesse out and they start to run. Cut to the mausoleum. Darla hits the wall and falls to the floor, winded. Buffy: You know, I just wanted to start over. Be like everybody else. Have some friends, y'know, maybe a dog... But, no, you had to come here, you couldn't go suck on some other town. Darla: Who are you? Buffy: Don't you know? Luke grabs her by the neck from behind. Luke: I don't care! He throws her across the room. He grabs Darla and lifts her to her feet. Luke: You were supposed to be bringing an offering for the Master! We're almost at Harvest, and you dally with this child! Darla: (fearfully) We had someone, but then she came. She killed Thomas. Luke, she's strong. Luke: You go. I'll see if I can handle the little girl. He approaches Buffy as she starts to get up, still a little dazed. Darla quickly climbs the steps, looks back once and runs out of the door. Luke attacks Buffy with a double punch, but she blocks it and delivers a punch to his gut and a hopping front snap kick to his jaw. He steps back, but isn't fazed. Luke: You're strong. He lands a solid backhand fist on her. She goes flying. Luke: I'm stronger! Cut to outside in the cemetery. Xander and Willow are supporting Jesse as they run. Willow: We'll get the police, it's just a few blocks up! They are stopped by a group of vampires. Cut to the mausoleum. Luke: You're wasting my time. She backs away up the stairs toward the exit. Buffy: Hey, I had other plans, too, okay? Luke shoves the heavy lid off of the coffin. Buffy does a cartwheel onto and over it to avoid it and kicks Luke in the chest with both feet, knocking him down. She grabs the stake from the floor and lunges at Luke, but he is too quick for her, and grabs her by the wrist. Luke: You think you can stop me? Stop us? He grabs the stake with his other hand and breaks it. Then he grabs her by the shirt. Luke: You have no idea what you're dealing with. He throws Buffy onto the rim of the now open coffin. She rolls off onto the floor, dazed. Luke gets up and starts toward her, quoting scripture. Luke: 'And like a plague of boils, the race of man covered the Earth.' Cut to the library. Giles is paging through an old volume and stops on a picture of Satan with lightning coming from his hand to a man's. Luke: 'But on the third day of the newest light would come the Harvest. And the blood of men will flow as wine.' Cut to the Master sitting in an intricately carved chair. Luke: 'When the Master will walk among them once more!' Cut to Xander, Willow and Jesse surrounded by vampires, including Darla. Luke: 'The Earth will belong to the old ones.' Cut to Buffy. Luke is in her face. Luke: 'And Hell itself will come to town.' He grabs Buffy and growls. He lifts her by the throat and throws her toward the coffin. Buffy flips over in a front layout and lands in the coffin next to a skeleton, and lets out a quick scream, but then remains silent, only breathing. She can't see or hear Luke. She slowly starts to get up. Suddenly Luke jumps up and into the coffin. Luke: (smiling widely) Amen! He moves in to bite Buffy. To Be Continued...

Episode one - Summary

2004-11-23T13:32:00.000-08:00

Episode 1 "Welcome to the Hellmouth" Summary
Sixteen-year-old Buffy Summers has moved to Sunnydale from L.A., hoping to leave Buffy's troubled past behind. But Sunnydale High librarian Rupert Giles knows who Buffy is: she is the Slayer, the one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to hunt and kill vampires. He knows about her past because he is her new Watcher -- the person whose destiny it is to train and guide Slayers on their path. Buffy quickly makes two friends: the shy, bookish Willow, and the goofy but lovable Xander, who is instantly attracted to Buffy.
When a student is found dead in a locker -- with bite marks on his neck and completely drained of his blood -- Giles enlists Buffy's help. She resists, trying to get out of the slaying game for good, but Giles insists that a crucial mystical upheaval is about to occur. Unbeknownst to them, a bewildered Xander overhears their conversation -- Buffy's secret is out. Later, in a dark, eerie chamber, we see a vampire who seems to be confirming Giles' prophecy. The vampire, Luke, kneels in front of a pool of blood and says, "The sleeper will awaken. And the world will bleed."
On her way to the Bronze, Sunnydale's hippest (and only) club, Buffy is followed by a handsome, mysterious stranger. He tells her she must be ready for the Harvest, and gives her a small cross. Giles meets her at the Bronze and she tells him about the encounter. Giles convinces her to use her power, and wants her to try to sense if there are any vampires in the room. She does sense one and finds him talking to Willow, but the two have walked away. Trying to catch him unawares, she grabs a makeshift stake, turns a corner and attacks... Cordelia, the snootiest girl in school, who already thought Buffy was a loser for hanging with Willow, and now thinks she’s certifiable. We see Jesse, Xander's buddy, chatting with a girl we saw in vampire garb earlier, but who now appears as a normal student, Darla. Back to the pool of blood, something breaks through the surface and rises: the demonic Master Vampire. He is hungry and weak, and asks Luke to bring him something young.
Outside the Bronze, Buffy enlists Xander's help in finding Willow, who's already been lead to a mausoleum by the vampire. Willow's happy to find Jesse there, until she sees that Darla has already bit him in the neck. Buffy and Xander enter, and Buffy promptly kills the vampire boy. Now Willow is finally in on the secret. While Darla tries to attack Buffy, Xander and Willow lead a weakened Jesse out. Luke joins the battle and throws Buffy across the room. As he tries to bite her in the neck, he burns his hand on her cross, giving her a chance to escape. She finds her friends struggling with several vampires. Buffy impales one and the others flee. Meanwhile, Jesse has been taken to the Master, who hears about Buffy. By her strength, he can tell that she's the Slayer. The Master knows that Buffy will come looking for Jesse, and then she will be his.
Giles enlists Willow to check the internet for more information about the Harvest, while Buffy decides to go look for Jesse. At the mausoleum, she runs into the stranger again, whose name is Angel. He warns that the Harvest will be that night. Then Buffy is shocked to find Xander has followed her. They find Jesse, who tries to lead them out, until he turns to face them and they discover he's become a vampire. More vampires surround and chase them, but they manage to escape to the street through a grating. The Master is furious that the Slayer has escaped. But he allows Luke to feed from him as a way of gaining strength for himself. He dabs some of his blood on Luke's forehead and paints a three-pointed star.
Willow's research explains that on the night of the Harvest, the Master Vampire can draw power from one of his minions while it feeds and then can break through from their reality to ours. The minion is called the Vessel, and bears the symbol we saw painted on Luke. Xander guesses the vampires will converge on the Bronze, since it's always filled with young people. That night, a newly confident Jesse strides into the Bronze and hits on Cordelia, who actually allows the former loser to dance with her. Soon, a gang of vampires takes over the club, with Luke at the helm. By the time Buffy, Giles, Xander and Willow get there, the suckfest is in full swing, with the Master gaining strength from each victim. Buffy manages to kill a few other vampires, then Jesse winds up impaling himself on a stake a frightened Xander was holding. Buffy breaks a large window, trying to make Luke think the streetlight is daylight, which will destroy him. He buys it for a second, and she takes advantage of his confusion by driving a stake through his back. Now the Master is too weak to break through to the other side, and Sunnydale has been spared.
This time.